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Mission to find love at 30, activated!
Finding the ideal man is no mean feat, and being single in your 30s is definitely a challenge. Particularly, as the years go by, theyāre either all taken or seasoned bachelors. And I know what Iām talking about. As a 30-year-old single woman, I feel that by getting a divorce, I ruined my one and only chance at being happy in a relationship. Iām almost accused of ābeing too choosyā when I simply refuse to let the first guy into my life, or into my bed. Leave it to me, Iāll find my true love.
Age isnāt just in your head
According to public opinion, a woman has less chance of finding love after the age of 30. This would mean that at 29 years and 364 days, I would be living my last moments as an attractive woman. How can I put it⦠what a lovely compliment! Thanks to whoever started that rumor.
Personally, Iāve come across people in their thirties who are much more radiant than young twenty-somethings who are considered āin their primeā. A thought for you, J-Lo. In reality, thereās no rule. Each woman is unique and has her own qualities. And age is in the mind, but not solely. I donāt want to look or behave like a grandma. Youāll see that if I continue to take care of myself, draw attention and keep a positive attitude, Iāll be at my best.
Other people judge us on our appearance, thatās a fact. But who cares about an image that may be beautiful but fixed? Iāve never neglected the way I look. As if I had chosen to be single, as if my age and my situation didnāt stop me from living: I do what I like, and Iām happy. I donāt see myself as a lost cause or as being good for the scrap heap.
If Iām happy, I have a much better chance of catching the eye of my future other half. Heāll have spotted my bright smile from dozens of meters away and wonāt ask me for my ID. And if I donāt attract anyone, at least Iāll look good.
I boycott half-arsed plans
Thereās a difference between wanting to find love and absolutely needing someone to fill the void. If I find love again, itāll be because I want to. And so, I know what I want and what I donāt want any more. Gone are the days in my twenties when I jumped into a relationship without thinking much about it.
Collecting failures is tiring but informative. I wouldāve never thought Iād say this, but I thank all my exes because they opened my eyes to the type of man I need. Being demanding comes with age, and itās with experience that you learn to say ānoā to someone who doesnāt suit you. Even if heās funny, quite interesting and so handsome in his shirtā¦
Half-arsed plans can also be found through a screen. This is when I open the big chapter on dating apps: apparently there are exceptions, but I must have a knack for attracting weirdos. Or narcissistic perverts, depending on what comes along. Iāve quickly learned to read between the lines: ālooking for a casual relationshipā is just a polite way of saying, āI just want to hook up with youā. And if you add dull as dishwasher chats or misleading photos, allow me to cast doubt on this āmodernā dating method.
>>> Discover the top secrets to a lasting relationship
Did you know?
62% of 30-year-old single women are disappointed by dating apps theyāve used.
Iām not your rebound girl
Once one of our suitors has passed the first stage, itās still necessary to talk with him about an important point before considering a future. Many people have been hurt by brutal break-ups or are āsimplyā afraid to love. If my crush thinks Iām just a rebound relationship, a stepping-stone or a bit of fun, I want to know. I no longer have time to waste! And Iād like to avoid awkward situations as much as possible, so that weāre both going in the same direction.
And then trusting in someone again when youāve been disappointed in love takes energy. The clearer his intentions are, the better it will be for my nerves. Talking about the past is sometimes a good way to build a future. This is the philosophical moment of the day.
One last piece of advice: Donāt lock yourself up at home
Especially if itās to stuff your face with whole tubs of ice cream under your blanket. Thereās nothing better than sharing common ground with your loved one, so donāt hesitate to go out and hang out in places you like! He may be waiting for you there.
Is dating harder in your 30s?
Now, just because you havenāt found the man of your dreams by the age of 30 doesnāt mean youāll be banished to life on the shelf! Nor does it mean that youāll never realize your dream of having children and living in a white picket fence neighborhood. Here, whatās important to keep in mind is that everyone accomplishes and does things according to their own timescale. After all, I donāt remember seeing a rule that stated everyone should be married off by the time they hit the big 3-0. Dating at this age can be intimidating, but thatās not to say itās harder than at any other point in life, although I will say it is different. Itās different because you know yourself better, plus you know what you want and especially what you donāt want. Having a few years of experience under your belt means that you are often pickier and more hesitant when it comes to jumping into fruitless relationships.
Editorās note: Donāt put pressure on yourselfThe man of your dreams will come along, even if you donāt believe in it anymore and have already imagined yourself ending up with a family of cats. Youāre unique and radiant. And one day, someone will notice that. š¤ Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Letās do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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