Mission to find love at 30, activated!
Finding the ideal man is no mean feat, and being single in your 30s is definitely a challenge. Particularly, as the years go by, they’re either all taken or seasoned bachelors. And I know what I’m talking about. As a 30-year-old single woman, I feel that by getting a divorce, I ruined my one and only chance at being happy in a relationship. I’m almost accused of “being too choosy” when I simply refuse to let the first guy into my life, or into my bed. Leave it to me, I’ll find my true love.
Age isn’t just in your head
According to public opinion, a woman has less chance of finding love after the age of 30. This would mean that at 29 years and 364 days, I would be living my last moments as an attractive woman. How can I put it… what a lovely compliment! Thanks to whoever started that rumor.
Personally, I’ve come across people in their thirties who are much more radiant than young twenty-somethings who are considered “in their prime”. A thought for you, J-Lo. In reality, there’s no rule. Each woman is unique and has her own qualities. And age is in the mind, but not solely. I don’t want to look or behave like a grandma. You’ll see that if I continue to take care of myself, draw attention and keep a positive attitude, I’ll be at my best.
Other people judge us on our appearance, that’s a fact. But who cares about an image that may be beautiful but fixed? I’ve never neglected the way I look. As if I had chosen to be single, as if my age and my situation didn’t stop me from living: I do what I like, and I’m happy. I don’t see myself as a lost cause or as being good for the scrap heap.
If I’m happy, I have a much better chance of catching the eye of my future other half. He’ll have spotted my bright smile from dozens of meters away and won’t ask me for my ID. And if I don’t attract anyone, at least I’ll look good.
I boycott half-arsed plans
There’s a difference between wanting to find love and absolutely needing someone to fill the void. If I find love again, it’ll be because I want to. And so, I know what I want and what I don’t want any more. Gone are the days in my twenties when I jumped into a relationship without thinking much about it.
Collecting failures is tiring but informative. I would’ve never thought I’d say this, but I thank all my exes because they opened my eyes to the type of man I need. Being demanding comes with age, and it’s with experience that you learn to say “no” to someone who doesn’t suit you. Even if he’s funny, quite interesting and so handsome in his shirt…
Half-arsed plans can also be found through a screen. This is when I open the big chapter on dating apps: apparently there are exceptions, but I must have a knack for attracting weirdos. Or narcissistic perverts, depending on what comes along. I’ve quickly learned to read between the lines: “looking for a casual relationship” is just a polite way of saying, “I just want to hook up with you”. And if you add dull as dishwasher chats or misleading photos, allow me to cast doubt on this “modern” dating method.
>>> Discover the top secrets to a lasting relationship
Did you know?
62% of 30-year-old single women are disappointed by dating apps they’ve used.
I’m not your rebound girl
Once one of our suitors has passed the first stage, it’s still necessary to talk with him about an important point before considering a future. Many people have been hurt by brutal break-ups or are “simply” afraid to love. If my crush thinks I’m just a rebound relationship, a stepping-stone or a bit of fun, I want to know. I no longer have time to waste! And I’d like to avoid awkward situations as much as possible, so that we’re both going in the same direction.
And then trusting in someone again when you’ve been disappointed in love takes energy. The clearer his intentions are, the better it will be for my nerves. Talking about the past is sometimes a good way to build a future. This is the philosophical moment of the day.
One last piece of advice: Don’t lock yourself up at home
Especially if it’s to stuff your face with whole tubs of ice cream under your blanket. There’s nothing better than sharing common ground with your loved one, so don’t hesitate to go out and hang out in places you like! He may be waiting for you there.
Is dating harder in your 30s?
Now, just because you haven’t found the man of your dreams by the age of 30 doesn’t mean you’ll be banished to life on the shelf! Nor does it mean that you’ll never realize your dream of having children and living in a white picket fence neighborhood. Here, what’s important to keep in mind is that everyone accomplishes and does things according to their own timescale. After all, I don’t remember seeing a rule that stated everyone should be married off by the time they hit the big 3-0. Dating at this age can be intimidating, but that’s not to say it’s harder than at any other point in life, although I will say it is different. It’s different because you know yourself better, plus you know what you want and especially what you don’t want. Having a few years of experience under your belt means that you are often pickier and more hesitant when it comes to jumping into fruitless relationships.
Editor’s note: Don’t put pressure on yourself
The man of your dreams will come along, even if you don’t believe in it anymore and have already imagined yourself ending up with a family of cats. You’re unique and radiant. And one day, someone will notice that.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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