What Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men?

Last updated by Lauren Hart

Recently, I came across a BBC study that explained that women file for divorce more often than men. The numbers are staggering, with up to 70% of women ending their marriages in the US! Why are women at the origin of this separation? As a feminist, I didn't need to question myself for a long time, the reasons are quite clear. Here’s the explanation.

What Do Women Initiate Divorce More Than Men?

Women don't want to be their husbands' mothers anymore

Let's go back to the basics: it is obvious that our society is patriarchal, that is, that men have more privileges than women. And this is felt in the private sphere too! The education of men is different since they are taught that it will be the future spouse who will do everything for him, while he goes to work. So there are systemic reasons, but now women don't want to be the second mother of their spouses.

>>> Read; What are the 10 most common reasons for divorce

Women are fed up with the mental burden

In a relationship, the woman almost always carries the entire mental load (housework, organizational tasks, parenting, etc.). Many men do not do anything at home, while most of the time, their wives work just as much as they do. What you have to remember is that women don't want to be their spouse's maids anymore. Some of them try to shift the weight of the mental load in a relationship, but it's not successful every time. The problem of education of men is so installed because of the toxic masculinity, that it is very difficult to make them change.

A lack of emotional intelligence

The problem of education and the abundance of privilege is so great that it has a direct impact on the emotional intelligence of heterosexual men. In fact, the psychologist who specializes in couple therapy, Gilza Fort-Martinez, explains that men are built with lower emotional intelligence than women. This is the result of a stereotypical and sexist education that detaches men from their emotions and those of others. In their minds, having emotions is reserved for women, while it is proper for human beings in general. It's the "alpha male" in all his glory 😣!

Greater emancipation

With these reasons alone, it's easy to understand why it's women who file for divorce more often than men. Nevertheless, to all this is also added the evolution of our rights 🧐. Indeed, we observe that the increase in divorces goes hand in hand with the liberation and evolution of women's rights: the right to vote, the right to abort, equal pay, etc.

>>> How to tell a narcissist you want a divorce

Financial independence

Moreover, being economically independent gives more power to women. Indeed, how can you leave the marital home without financial resources and with, possibly, children under the arms? You can't. Heidi Kar, psychologist, and specialist in domestic violence explains:

"Across cultures and geographies, women who are economically able to take care of themselves -which is usually linked to higher levels of education-are more likely to initiate divorce than those who are not able to provide for themselves or their children economically."

Freeing yourself from violence

Not having finances is one of the reasons why women used to stay with their spouses. They suffered because they had no possibility to leave. Alcoholism, rapes, physical violence, psychological violence... The testimonies of these women are chilling, but unfortunately, they reflect a reality that is still present 😥.

The difference is that, from now on, women do not want to stay in a toxic love relationship anymore and try at all costs to free themselves from it. Nevertheless, they still have to be able to survive, because, at the moment, a woman still dies every 3 days from the blows of her husband...

Why is divorce harder for men than women?

Some studies and research have suggested that men may sometimes feel particular pain during divorce due to social and cultural factors. According to the research carried out, men may be more inclined to suppress their emotions or not seek support, which can exacerbate their emotional stress. Their lack of ability to open up, often means that they are left to face their troubles alone, without ever talking about them. In addition, if they lose custody of their children or suffer financial hardship, this can also contribute to their distress. However, it's crucial to remember that women can also face specific challenges during a divorce, and each individual reacts differently depending on their own personal circumstances and the support resources available to them. How a person deals with divorce is influenced by a multitude of factors, and it's important not to generalize experiences based on gender.

Editor’s opinion: A difficult but necessary change

If you are not happy in your relationship, if something is wrong, it is time to ask yourself the right questions. Leaving, leaving your comfort, your habits, is not easy, like any transformation, but it is a necessary path for your blooming. If it is too difficult, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist in order to talk about it, he will know how to accompany you in this period of change.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... It's here and now!


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Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

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Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist


  1. Only LoveBen Howard
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde