Women don't want to be their husbands' mothers anymore
Let's go back to the basics: it is obvious that our society is patriarchal, that is, that men have more privileges than women. And this is felt in the private sphere too! The education of men is different since they are taught that it will be the future spouse who will do everything for him, while he goes to work. So there are systemic reasons, but now women don't want to be the second mother of their spouses.
Women are fed up with the mental burden
In a relationship, the woman almost always carries the entire mental load (housework, organizational tasks, parenting, etc.). Many men do not do anything at home, while most of the time, their wives work just as much as they do. What you have to remember is that women don't want to be their spouse's maids anymore. Some of them try to shift the weight of the mental load in a relationship, but it's not successful every time. The problem of education of men is so installed because of the toxic masculinity, that it is very difficult to make them change.
A lack of emotional intelligence
The problem of education and the abundance of privilege is so great that it has a direct impact on the emotional intelligence of heterosexual men. In fact, the psychologist who specializes in couple therapy, Gilza Fort-Martinez, explains that men are built with lower emotional intelligence than women. This is the result of a stereotypical and sexist education that detaches men from their emotions and those of others. In their minds, having emotions is reserved for women, while it is proper for human beings in general. It's the "alpha male" in all his glory 😣!
With these reasons alone, it's easy to understand why it's women who file for divorce more often than men. Nevertheless, to all this is also added the evolution of our rights 🧐. Indeed, we observe that the increase in divorces goes hand in hand with the liberation and evolution of women's rights: the right to vote, the right to abort, equal pay, etc.
Moreover, being economically independent gives more power to women. Indeed, how can you leave the marital home without financial resources and with, possibly, children under the arms? You can't. Heidi Kar, psychologist, and specialist in domestic violence explains:
"Across cultures and geographies, women who are economically able to take care of themselves -which is usually linked to higher levels of education-are more likely to initiate divorce than those who are not able to provide for themselves or their children economically."
Freeing yourself from violence
Not having finances is one of the reasons why women used to stay with their spouses. They suffered because they had no possibility to leave. Alcoholism, rapes, physical violence, psychological violence... The testimonies of these women are chilling, but unfortunately, they reflect a reality that is still present 😥.
The difference is that, from now on, women do not want to stay in a toxic love relationship anymore and try at all costs to free themselves from it. Nevertheless, they still have to be able to survive, because, at the moment, a woman still dies every 3 days from the blows of her husband...
Editor’s opinion: A difficult but necessary change
If you are not happy in your relationship, if something is wrong, it is time to ask yourself the right questions. Leaving, leaving your comfort, your habits, is not easy, like any transformation, but it is a necessary path for your blooming. If it is too difficult, do not hesitate to contact a psychologist in order to talk about it, he will know how to accompany you in this period of change.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... It's here and now!
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