I’m Too Spontaneous, How Do I Manage It?

Last updated by Katie M.

I’m one of those people who take ages to make a decision. Yes, I’m not a member of the “spontaneous” team. On the other hand, unlike me, my best friend is impulsive. She’s often told that she should turn her tongue seven times in her mouth before saying something, especially when she’s at work. She sometimes tells me that she regrets being too spontaneous, but that’s not a flaw! Learning to manage this trait isn’t impossible, but how do you do it?

Contents: 

A freer state of mind

When you’re a spontaneous person, it’s your instincts that act. I think it’s great not to let your thoughts get in the way and just run with your feelings. In comparison, I’m much more afraid of making a decision, however small it is. Whereas, extroverted and spontaneous people will have much less trouble taking action 💪. They’re freer people who don’t let their fears get in the way, unlike introverts like me.

Acting before thinking

That’s right, why think when you can act? The typical kind of thinking my friend would do. Being spontaneous is mostly a quality, my friend spends less time procrastinating, she goes straight into the action. She often breaks her routine, she knows how to say no, she tries new experiences, she completes her projects much more quickly, etc. In short, she manages to move forward 🙌! However, sometimes this character trait is detrimental to her, especially in social situations…

Why pay attention to your spontaneity?

Where this quality can turn into a flaw is in a social context. I always speak with the example of my best friend in mind, I know it’s impossible for her to not say what’s going through her mind. That’s how impulsive people work, they say out loud what they think. The train of thought runs at the same time as the spoken word. Except that not everything is good to say, you can hurt other people by saying out loud what you think with no filter. I’ve seen my friend make some pretty big blunders before, revealing a secret, for example. Oops, 😶!

As much as those around her forgive her, it’s not the case for everyone. Words that go beyond thoughts can cause problems in the professional world, for instance. That’s why it’s important to learn to control your spontaneity in certain situations.

How to be less spontaneous?

Indeed, acting or speaking before thinking can be tricky. The first thing to do to be a bit less spontaneous is to be aware of this character trait. Usually, those closest to you are the first to describe your behavior and actions, so listen to them! If they tell you that you’re impulsive, it’s interesting to do some introspection to understand how you work.

Slow down

From this point on, it will be easier to determine which moments can trigger stronger reactions, in order to better manage your emotions. Indeed, stress can exacerbate spontaneity, and this is what makes us lose our grip even more! To achieve calm, meditation activities help to slow down the pace and take a time out.

🧘‍♀️ Learning to pause isn’t impossible. If I can regulate my thought flow, I know that my friend can control her spontaneity too.

Don’t forget to be yourself

Above all, don’t feel guilty about being yourself. I’d like to get out of my comfort zone as spontaneous people do, maybe you do too if you’re reading this article! This character trait is like any other, it has its share of advantages and disadvantages. But as Oscar Wilde said, “Be yourself, everyone else is already taken” 😉. As long as it doesn’t hurt others or cause you problems, go for it!

Editor’s note: a good quality!

Let’s face it, a bit of spontaneity is always good, it’s a breath of fresh air, especially when it happens during long politically correct conversations. As long as it doesn’t hurt anyone, it’s a good quality, so why would you want to curb it? 👉 Do those around you reproach you for your spontaneity? Then don’t hesitate to talk to a psychologist about it.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Katie M.

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