6 Tips On How To Fix Shyness And Find Your Voice

Last updated by Katie M.

The thought of speaking in public or approaching strangers makes me feel physically ill. Blushing and stuttering are part and parcel of shy people’s daily lives. Social situations are tough for me, and you'd best believe that having to present my monthly results at work to the director's board completely tortures me and ensures I have sleepless nights leading up to it. I can't go on like this, I need to overcome my fear and gain the confidence and skills necessary to speak up, because, contrary to popular belief, I do have an opinion. Slowly, but surely, I am going to overcome my fear and conquer my shyness.

6 Tips On How To Fix Shyness And Find Your Voice
Contents:

6 Tips for shy people on how to speak up

1. Stop labeling yourself as an introvert

What if I looked at my personality from another perspective? By judging myself on a time in my life when I wasn’t comfortable in public, I ended up believing that I was just simply shy. However, I have many qualities; I’m creative, sporty, curious… so STOP!


Let’s get things straight

vaincre timidite

Shyness is just a filter temporarily preventing me from showing the world who I am. It doesn't define me; it's a momentary state, like when you get a cold!


2. Don't use it as an excuse

Shyness is the worst type of counselor. If I listen to it, I will never conquer my shyness, but instead, do the opposite. By hiding behind these excuses, I don’t make any progress and I miss out on fun times and meeting great people.

> Read about the symptoms and causes of an anxiety attack.

3. Learn to come to terms with the notion of failure

Introversion often involves feeling scared. Stop trying to be successful and overly pushy, because that’s just risking not succeeding. And it also means you are not learning how to recover and bounce back (by the way, bouncing back makes you just as proud of yourself as succeeding does).

4. Take care of yourself and learn to love everything about you

Behind my timidity, I’m hiding the huge lack of confidence I have in myself. I need to find a way of working on my introversion and addressing that shortfall when I have no other choice than to expose myself in front of others. Introverts are often told, “you can’t tell you hate speaking out!” (The red blushing invading my face mustn’t be that bright…), the proof that I can fool anyone… During public events, I pluck up courage by getting ready and putting on an outfit I feel great in. Other people are like a mirror; if they see that I’m comfortable, I go along with it without worrying about what they think!

5. Stop considering other people as scary strangers

We are all human, and in that sense, they are not there to judge me or make me feel inferior. Each time I start to stutter when speaking to someone, I think of this phrase: “A stranger is just a friend we haven’t met yet”. By telling myself that I am talking to someone who is probably very kind, I instantly feel more relaxed.

6. Take on small daily challenges

I do this progressively so that my hard work doesn’t seem overwhelming. I set myself challenges step by step, such as asking trivial questions to a new person every day (“What time is it? What’s the best restaurant around here?”). Then, over time, I realize that no one is going to bite me, therefore making me better able to string a sentence together to start a conversation with someone.

What causes a person to be shy?

The most obvious causes of shyness go back to childhood. A shy adult is usually a child who was very timid in their younger years. It is within the family environment that the child begins to learn how to live in society... This is also where everything is played out for the future! A child who is regularly teased, threatened, or criticized by family members or at school is likely to suffer from shyness in the future. He or she will tend to avoid contact with others and withdraw completely into himself. There are other situations that lead to shyness. Overly protective or overbearing parents can also have a negative impact on the developing adult. With overprotective parents, the child cannot properly prepare for life in society and does not have the necessary weapons. With strict or overly lax parents, the child may lose self-confidence, feeling constantly belittled or unworthy.

Many difficult times can lead to shyness and fear. A child who is very comfortable with people can become a shy adult if he or she has a series of bad experiences. For example, he or she may experience public humiliation, a very painful failure, repeated teasing, and hurtful remarks. Imagine a person who is attacked daily about his or her looks or temperament. Unconsciously, he or she will have no choice but to withdraw into himself or herself. Even a complicated and unexplained break-up can trigger shyness.


Editor’s opinion - It’s not an illness, but there is a cure

Conquering your shyness isn’t as difficult as you might think. It looks complicated to pass as someone confident and a great speaker, but by going through certain steps, at your own pace, anyone can do it.

There are several methods we can use: developing your self-confidence is a solution, allowing you to assert yourself and not get scared when someone looks at you. Some breathing techniques can also be adapted to help you speak in public, without stress getting in the way. For the more artistic amongst you, many people who used to be shy have learned to manage their emotions and work on their speaking voice through drama classes!

And, if despite all that, the thought of having the attention on you still terrifies you, you can overcome this character trait by getting help through behavioral therapy.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


Check out the following articles:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Fear Of Growing Up

“When I’m older, I’ll be...”. Who hasn’t fantasized about adulthood and the freedom it seemed to offer? The problem is that sometimes you find yourself as an adult, no longer wanting to leave childhood behind, and having to face up to the responsibilities that come along and crush you. But at some point, we all have to face the facts: in real life, our invisibility cloak doesn’t work. You’re a grown-up, and you need to deal with it because if you don’t, you risk falling from a great height and that fall can sometimes be brutal.

Never Say “Tomboy” To A Girl Again!

When I was little, I used to play a lot of Lego and video games. To me, these are passions like any other, and I still play video games at the age of 33. What’s not normal, however, is that when I was younger, I was described as a “tomboy”. In fact, I’ve always hated that term, and I think it’s time to stop using it. It’s sexist and puts a label on girls who don’t fit the stereotypes of their gender, so never say that again!

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Do Narcissists Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control 😨. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

"My Ex Was Crazy" If A Guy Says This… Run!

I am probably the crazy ex. At least, I'm pretty sure some of my exes present me that way to their new girlfriends. Except that description shouldn’t be overlooked because it reveals a lot about a man’s behavior and could be seen as a red flag. What's behind it when a man talks about his ex, who was an alleged total nut job? Here’s why you ought to run as fast as you can if you’re currently dating a guy who deems his ex as crazy.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We’ve no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:15
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack