6 Tips To Conquer Your Shyness Once And For AllThe thought of speaking in public or approaching strangers makes me turn to jelly. Blushing and stuttering are part and parcel of shy people’s daily lives. But staying in this state that I feel so comfortable in won’t make me move on, and I often miss out on good times and meeting interesting people. Progressively but surely, I am going to overcome my fear. Here are 6 tips to conquer my shyness once and for all!
« Shyness is terrible, it masks all your positive qualities.... » - Patrick Timsit
6 tips to finally put an end to your shyness
Watch out, I’m coming!
1. I’ve stopped associating myself with that label
What if I looked at my personality from another perspective? I’ve identified you, nasty restricting belief, and because of you, I see myself as incapable, and nothing else. By judging myself on a time in my life when I wasn’t comfortable in public, I ended up believing that I was just simply shy. However, I have many qualities; I’m creative, sporty, curious… so STOP!
Let’s get things straight
Shyness is just a filter temporarily preventing me from showing the world who I really am. It doesn't define me; it's a momentary state, like when you get a cold!
2. I’m no longer hiding behind my excuses
“I’m too shy, so I can’t have as much fun as others. I can’t approach people I fancy”
Shyness is the worst type of counsellor. If I listen to it, I will never conquer my shyness, but instead do the opposite. By hiding behind these excuses, I don’t make any progress and I miss out on fun times and meeting great people.
> Read about the symptoms and causes of an anxiety attack.
3. I’m coming to terms with the notion of failure
Shyness often involves feeling very scared. Stop trying to be successful and overly pushy, because that’s just risking not succeeding. And it also means you are not learning how to recover and bounce back (by the way, bouncing back makes you just as proud of yourself as succeeding does).
4. I’m taking care of myself and learning to love myself
Behind my shyness, I’m hiding the huge lack of confidence I have in myself. I must find a way of working on my shyness and addressing that shortfall when I have no other choice than to expose myself in front of others. Shy people are often told “you can’t tell!” (The red blushing invading my face mustn’t be that bright…), the proof that I can fool anyone… During public events, I pluck up courage by getting ready and putting on an outfit I feel great in. Other people are like a mirror; if they see that I’m comfortable, I go along with it without worrying about what they think!
5. I no longer consider other people to be scary strangers
With respect to them, other people are not demigods. We are all human, and in that sense, they are not there to judge me or make me feel inferior. Each time I start to stutter when speaking to someone, I think of this phrase: “A stranger is just a friend we haven’t met yet”. By telling myself that I am talking to someone who is probably very kind, I will instantly feel more relaxed.
6. I’m taking on daily challenges
And I do this progressively, so that my hard work doesn’t seem overwhelming. I set myself challenges step by step, such as asking trivial questions to a new person every day (“What time is it? What’s the best restaurant round here?”). Then, over time, I will have realised that no one is going to bite me, therefore making me better able to string a sentence together in order to start a conversation with someone.
Editor’s opinion - It’s not an illness, but there is a cure
Conquering your shyness isn’t as difficult as you might think. It looks complicated to pass as someone who is confident and a great speaker, but by going through certain steps, at your own pace, anyone can do it.
There are several methods we can use: developing your self-confidence is a solution allowing you to assert yourself and not get scared when someone looks at you. Some breathing techniques can also be adapted to help you speak in public, without stress getting in the way. For the more artistic amongst you, many people who used to be shy have learnt to manage their emotions and work on their speaking voice through drama classes!
And, if despite all that, the thought of having the attention on you still terrifies you, you can overcome this character trait by getting help through behavioural therapy.
Now that you have the tools needed to overcome your shyness, speaking to others should no longer seem so daunting… If your children's emotions are getting the better of them, read about how we can reduce stress in children!