6 Tips To Conquer Your Shyness Once And For All

The thought of speaking in public or approaching strangers makes me feel physically ill. Blushing and stuttering are part and parcel of shy people’s daily lives. Social situations are tough for me and you'd best believe that having to present my monthly results at work to the director's board completely tortures me. I can't go on like this, I need to overcome my fear and gain the confidence and skills necessary to speak up, because, contrary to popular belief, I do have an opinion. Slowly but surely, I am going to overcome my fear and conquer my shyness.

Contents:

6 Methods to build your confidence and speak out

1. Stop labelling yourself as an introvert

What if I looked at my personality from another perspective? By judging myself on a time in my life when I wasn’t comfortable in public, I ended up believing that I was just simply shy. However, I have many qualities; I’m creative, sporty, curious… so STOP!


Let’s get things straight

vaincre timidite

Shyness is just a filter temporarily preventing me from showing the world who I really am. It doesn't define me; it's a momentary state, like when you get a cold!


2. Don't use it as an excuse

Shyness is the worst type of counsellor. If I listen to it, I will never conquer my shyness, but instead do the opposite. By hiding behind these excuses, I don’t make any progress and I miss out on fun times and meeting great people.

> Read about the symptoms and causes of an anxiety attack.

3. Learn to come to terms with the notion of failure

Introversion often involves feeling very scared. Stop trying to be successful and overly pushy, because that’s just risking not succeeding. And it also means you are not learning how to recover and bounce back (by the way, bouncing back makes you just as proud of yourself as succeeding does).

4. Take care of yourself and learn to love everything about you

Behind my timidity, I’m hiding the huge lack of confidence I have in myself. I must find a way of working on my introversion and addressing that shortfall when I have no other choice than to expose myself in front of others. Introverts are often told “you can’t tell!” (The red blushing invading my face mustn’t be that bright…), the proof that I can fool anyone… During public events, I pluck up courage by getting ready and putting on an outfit I feel great in. Other people are like a mirror; if they see that I’m comfortable, I go along with it without worrying about what they think!

5. Stop considering other people as scary strangers

With respect to them, other people are not demigods. We are all human, and in that sense, they are not there to judge me or make me feel inferior. Each time I start to stutter when speaking to someone, I think of this phrase: “A stranger is just a friend we haven’t met yet”. By telling myself that I am talking to someone who is probably very kind, I will instantly feel more relaxed.

6. Take on small daily challenges

And I do this progressively, so that my hard work doesn’t seem overwhelming. I set myself challenges step by step, such as asking trivial questions to a new person every day (“What time is it? What’s the best restaurant round here?”). Then, over time, I will have realised that no one is going to bite me, therefore making me better able to string a sentence together in order to start a conversation with someone.


Editor’s opinion - It’s not an illness, but there is a cure

Conquering your shyness isn’t as difficult as you might think. It looks complicated to pass as someone who is confident and a great speaker, but by going through certain steps, at your own pace, anyone can do it.

There are several methods we can use: developing your self-confidence is a solution allowing you to assert yourself and not get scared when someone looks at you. Some breathing techniques can also be adapted to help you speak in public, without stress getting in the way. For the more artistic amongst you, many people who used to be shy have learnt to manage their emotions and work on their speaking voice through drama classes!

And, if despite all that, the thought of having the attention on you still terrifies you, you can overcome this character trait by getting help through behavioural therapy.


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