I Don’t Want To Breastfeed, But Hear Me Out, And Discover My Reasons Why

Last updated by Katie M.

When we’re pregnant or even way before being with child, we always seem to ask ourselves questions about how we are going to feed our baby. But don't worry, whatever choice you make, you will always, and I mean ALWAYS be on the receiving end of negative comments! The World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding up to 6 months, and everyone with an opinion on the matter seems to side with them. I on the other hand chose not to breastfeed, and you know what? I think I'm a good mother anyway because my baby is healthy and happy.

Contents: 

I made the choice not to breastfeed, and guess what, my baby is fine

I'm not going to lie to you, even before my son was born, I already knew I wouldn't breastfeed him. Was it a whim? No, not at all. For me, it was a rather thoughtful and obvious choice. But you know what people are like... as they ask you when you're going to have children, they also ask you, once you're pregnant, if you're going to breastfeed and believe me, the answer you give will never satisfy them! Let me be clear, I chose bottle-feeding, but I have nothing against breastfeeding, the only thing I want to emphasize is that this choice is personal and should be made without doubt and without guilt. And you will always have to face reasons as to why you’re wrong, whatever your choice.

> Discover my open letter to my kids

Why was bottle feeding an obvious choice for me?

No one has ever breastfed around me. Not my mom, nor my aunts, nor my close friends. I knew a long time ago that I wouldn't breastfeed, not only because it wasn't part of my upbringing, my environment, but because, I dare say, it disgusts me. What? I put my well-being before my child's health! It's true that there are good reasons to pick breastfeeding; it’s more ecological, more economical, more natural and not to mention all the supposed benefits for the baby's health, but for me, it was clear, I couldn't breastfeed and wouldn’t change my mind.

If as a mom I'm okay, then my baby is okay

Even before I was pregnant and throughout my pregnancy, I knew that I could never put a baby's little mouth to the end of my nipple. Worse than that, the thought of milk coming out of my breasts made me feel nauseous. I don't have any problem with shame. If I had breastfed, I would have done it everywhere without any embarrassment. I don't feel any discomfort when I see a mom giving birth, I must say that I find it quite beautiful, but it's not for me.

During my pregnancy I was very anxious about the state of my child's health and yet it never made me question my choice to give the bottle. A midwife even comforted me in this idea by making me understand that for a baby, breast was best, yet I was still disgusted by the idea. In fact, it doesn't matter how you feed, it's all about making everyone feel good. Except it's not always that simple.

> Read up on separation anxiety and the effects it has.

From guilty mom to rested mom

I had heard a thousand stories or rumors about maternity wards that made mothers who didn't want to breastfeed think about their decision, or even forced them a little. My son came into the world and even when I saw his adorable face, it was out of the question for me to breastfeed him, not even colostrum. Everyone around me, including me, had gone through it, and he would be fine too.

And then I still remember the happiness I felt when his dad gave him his first bottle and then his grandparents. I was happy that they could all enjoy this moment of sharing with him. During this time my breasts were producing milk and I pretended they never existed.

Back home the trouble started

When we got home, things got complicated. This whole period is a bit fuzzy, drowned in a cloud of baby blues, fatigue and tears. All I remember is that it was very hard to bottle-feed my baby. He was having trouble burping, I felt like he was going to choke, except that with my husband everything was going well, and my breasts were still producing milk tirelessly. I felt like my baby and my body were playing against me. I should have been breastfeeding, obviously everything seemed to show that I had made the wrong choice, and why? Out of disgust? To re-appropriate my body as a woman and lover? To be able to get some fresh air while knowing that Daddy will be able to give the bottle? To sleep a little more than two hours straight? Obviously, I was just a terrible and selfish mother. Luckily for me, no one judged me, I was the only one to inflict this self-flagellation on myself.

Unconditional love

And then the milk flow stopped. And then I relaxed. Obviously, my son was doing well. I was always there for him, attentive, listening to him, taking care of him. I watched over him, protected him and... fed him. I came to understand that a mother's love is not defined by a breast or a pacifier. I spent days and nights taking care of him, worrying about him, playing with him, despite my appearance, my fatigue or even my health, not out of self-denial but simply because it is natural, and that is worth all the breast milk in the world!

Bottle feeding

Editor's Note - Let's Make Mothers Feel Better Their Choices

And when mom doesn't want to breastfeed, it's because she doesn't want the best for her baby. I admit that I would throw the stone that men do, but for once it's not just a question of opposition between men and women. Mothers can be awful to each other, and there are a thousand and one reasons to feel guilty about the infinite range of possibilities. Once again, benevolence should prevail, if not silence.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe


This content might interest you too: 

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Comments

In 1961 when I was born my own mother told me she never wanted to breast feed.. I was out on formula which caused a great deal of comic until the Dr told her to put me on evaporated milk diluted with water …I sometimes wonder see if my father cohearsed her into not breast feeding me

Thank you for writing this amazing article. Your story is very inspiring.

Read our latest articles here:

How To Make A Narcissist Fear You?

Now, I know what you’re thinking, scaring a narcissist is impossible, so, let me stop you right there because it’s totally false! Getting these awful manipulators to fear you is no easy challenge, however, there are certain things you can do that will help you turn the tables on them in no time. Letting these abusers know that they’ve met their match is the first important step toward the road to recovery, so I hope you’re ready for the journey. Here are 10 ways to scare a narcissist

What Exactly Does It Mean To Be Proactive?

Sometimes I feel like I’m being completely proactive and other times, much less so. Yet I know that this is a behavior that can bring me many things, especially in the professional world. But what exactly does it mean to be proactive? Why is it good to be so, especially in our careers? Let’s get ahead of events and expectations to do even better! Let me explain.

What Are The Psychological Consequences Of Infidelity?

What’s a worse betrayal than being cheated on by your partner? Frankly, having experienced it, I don’t think there is one. It’s a real tsunami that overwhelms us and makes us question everything. Why does it hurt so much? How can you stop suffering after discovering the infidelity of the person you loved? The psychological consequences of infidelity can be disastrous, and it can take years to get over it, or it leaves a lifelong wound... All will be explained.

Am I A Narcissist?

You are no doubt here because people have pointed out to you that you love being the center of attention and on top of that, you have a huge sense of entitlement, right? Or perhaps it’s because you lack empathy and have a grandiose sense of self-importance? If you are nodding your head to either of the previous scenarios, the following signs in our narcissist test will in fact reveal whether you have narcissistic traits that could be diagnosed as a disorder. Our 10 steps diagnostic tool is here to confirm or refute your suspicions, so let’s get started.

I'm Too Scared To Fall In Love; How Can I Overcome This Fear?

In love, things are never really certain and just when we think things are going well, they often seem to derail. That being said, when you consider that one in two marriages ends in divorce, it's no wonder that reluctance to fall in love is becoming an increasingly common phobia amongst people. This fear hides deep-seated anxieties and can become very painful and penalizing... To overcome your worries and cast them aside once and for all, you need to understand where they originate from.

How To Overcome Betrayal In 5 Key Steps

Whether it’s in friendship or love, betrayal is extremely painful, especially when it comes from people you trusted. Going through it can be very traumatic and can even lead you to wonder whether you'll ever truly heal and recover. With that in mind, many questions surface, including; how do you get over it when someone stabs you in the back? How do you rebuild yourself and learn to trust again? Here are 5 steps to overcome disloyalty, and who knows, they may even reinstall your hope in people.

How To Maintain A Virtual Long-Distance Relationship

Have you given into the temptation of using dating websites? Well, if you have, know that you’ve done the right thing, especially if it has led you to meeting the man of your dreams. But that being said, with Internet being worldwide and all, perhaps your SO lives hundreds or even thousands of miles away. Even so, do you plan on being together forever but are struggling to deal with the distance? Perhaps you've never even met each other in real life; such is the beauty of virtual relationships. Being away from the one we love can be tough, but as they say, absence makes the heart grown fonder.

10 Healthy Relationship Tips All Couples Must Follow

Stories of couples who spend their whole lives together seem like distant fairy tales nowadays. With the rise of dating apps and a shift in the idea of what constitutes a traditional relationship; the word long-term almost sounds foreign to many of us. Being in love isn't always simple, but when it works out, it's worth all the hard work. Being the romantic souls that we are, we wanted to share with you the recipe for a long-lasting and harmonious relationship. After all, who doesn't want to experience what their grandparents did? Discover the best tips for a happy and healthy love story.

Standing Up To A Narcissist Is Possible If You Follow These 9 Steps

If you’re anything like me, you’re no doubt sick of being manipulated and humiliated by the narcissistic vampires that surround you. Enough is enough! The time has come for you to stand up for yourself! No matter who is making you feel bad about yourself; you need to flip the tables and take back the power. Psychological abuse has deep and lasting impacts, but turning the page and moving on is the healthiest thing any victim can do. Here are 9 essential tips on how you can defend yourself against a narcissistic pervert.

10 Signs Of A Bad Friendship - These Should Alarm You!

Our instincts are often renowned for always being right, and we certainly know the signs of a bad relationship when we see them. Although, that being said, we do at times end up ignoring our gut feelings and only realize how toxic they are when it's too late. Just like in relationships, there are red flags we can't ignore in our friendship group if we want our rapport to remain healthy. Read on to discover the 10 signs that you need to update your girl group and ditch certain members of it.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack