Open Letter To My Children: Not Everything Was Perfect, But I Did My Best

Last updated by Katie M.

Do you remember those days at the beach? When we would leave early before the sun had even risen. I was always afraid you would be cold. It was magical to see the look in your eyes when the sea appeared through the car window. And then, inevitably, there were always my screams, and your screams too. There was always screaming. There are so many things inside us and our skin is only so thick… Of course, it exploded. In this story, not everything was perfect, but I did my best.

Open Letter To My Children: Not Everything Was Perfect, But I Did My Best

When I became a mom...

When I became a mother, I became an island. I felt powerful, but actually I was alone in the middle of the ocean, having to face the gusts of wind and the burning sun. People visited me, people trampled on me, and even though everyone seemed to know where I was, I myself was lost. We only have one mother and I felt very alone, I didn’t have a guide and I cried, swore, sighed about the frightening little beings that you were. I was full of anxieties, and they spread throughout our home. I wanted to be perfect, but you didn’t care. Maybe I spent too much time worrying about what might happen. I touched you, I watched you attentively for the slightest sign that something was wrong… I suffocated you and that was the problem.

>>> How can we reduce stress in children?

And then there is anger

I have often been compared to an animal. I was told that, like mares, my impulsiveness and impatience would disappear when I had a child. Others are sometimes so stunned… Anyway, the predictions turned out to be wrong. How could you not feel the storm coming when faced with your rebellious glances, your sharp words, your cutting gestures? So yes, I let go of your hands, left rooms, slammed doors. I resented you for being against me and not completely against me. I silently wished in my head for you to disappear. I was like a tearful lover. I tried to coax you, to force your affection, I looked for the love in you with hugs that you rejected, and then I gave up.

Locked in my silence, I became this emotionless woman, just a wet nurse. But remember the heat after the storm! When your little arms became necklaces around my neck, when I kissed your noses and stroked your hair. It was impossible to be calm, anger was chased away with big kisses. It was crazy, complete nonsense. A real torrent of emotions. With you, I got it all wrong. I didn’t always take the time to play or read stories. Sometimes I wasn’t very available or too present. I would have liked to teach you happiness, freedom, self-confidence… I would have liked to always be there for you, to be available and also take time for myself, to be able to come back even better, a little better. I didn’t find the solution to this dilemma, I did what I could. I moved up to the line, gave it a big kick and tried as best as I could to take back control. But the love! The love between us! How can we be perfect when this improbable love keeps us going?

Family“This possibility that motherhood is not an innate gift, that it is constructed with the child with doubt and chaos, with the trial and error of the most loving reason.” Marc Vilrouge

>>> Discover the reasons why I don't want children

I am an island

Today, I am still an island. Motherhood isolates you. Being your mother is not like being your father, it’s not like being my own mother, and it’s not like being other mothers. It’s no longer about the woman I was before, not another one, but not quite the same one either. I am an island and I have a crazy family in my bosom. I protect against gales, but sometimes let a storm pass. Sometimes we get soaked, we’re a little less warm, we shiver, but I do my best as I’m just an island!

>>> Advice for when your child hits.

Editor’s note – We don’t have the children of our dreams

With pregnancy, fantasies and dreams are born and grow. We imagine our children, what we will do with them and who they will become. We have to admit that the reality is sometimes brutal. Instead of the calm and affectionate child I was expecting, I have a stubborn mule who is noisy and temperamental. We are not always the parents we hoped to be. Sometimes we try to become one with different educational books, but our children are not the same as others, and they are not always who we hoped they would be. Let’s reassure ourselves, we haven’t done anything wrong, apart from idealizing them!

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


More content: 

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

The Unbearable Habit Of Cutting People Off, Let’s Put A Stop To It!

If there’s one thing I don’t like, it’s getting cut off when I’m talking. I get the impression that what I’m saying is of no importance to the person in front of me. So yes, maybe the person we’re talking to is afraid of forgetting their train of thought and rushes the words out of their mouth, but still. The icing on the cake? It’s when there’s no excuse and it happens all the time. What an unbearable habit cutting people off is!

Friendship Test: How Well Do You Know Your Friends?

One day I learned that one in two friendships wasn’t reciprocal. This figure is quite disturbing, but in the end, it’s not that surprising. When you become an adult, your priorities change, and sometimes you drift apart or make new friends... and forget others! To find out where you stand with your friendships or to get to know each other better, there’s a very effective method: 50 questions to get to know each other by heart and (re)connect.

How Can We Identify Repetitive Patterns And Get Out Of Them?

For a long time, I had the feeling that I was repeating the same mistakes. For example, on more than one occasion, I missed out on a career opportunity. All because I was convinced I was useless… Unfortunately, I bet I’m not the only one to have observed this kind of repetitive pattern. This kind of cycle is vicious, so how do you identify it and get out of it? Now that I’ve learned how to work on it, I’ll explain.

Is Not Giving A Damn The Secret To Happiness? Really?

I often get told to take things less to heart. I admit that as a hypersensitive person, I put my heart and soul into everything. Perhaps a little too much because that tends to generate anxiety. So in the end, is not giving a damn about anything the secret to happiness? Well, I’ve tried to delve into the subject with my research, and it’s not quite as simple as that. Here are some explanations.

Forbidden Love Story

“Deny thy father and refuse thy name; or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love, and I’ll no longer be a Montague.” I think everyone’s guessed where this quote comes from! It is, of course, Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. I’ve always loved this story of forbidden love, and I’m not the only one because this play has stood the test of time. On the other hand, I find it much less enjoyable to experience forbidden love. You don’t know whether it’s better to give up on it or get burnt... I’ll tell you all about it.

I Hate Having My Photo Taken, But Why?

One of my hobbies is photography. You’d think then that I’d be very comfortable in front of the camera, but no! The reason I do photography is to get behind the camera and take photos of other people. Ok, I sometimes take self-portraits, but as soon as someone else takes my photo, I hate it. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, which is why I’ve decided to talk to you about it today.

Get to know me! 🌻

Our February Challenge: The Month Of Self-Love And Pampering

When we think of February, do we think... icy feet 😬? Okay, it's not particularly known for that (even though it's true). No, when we think of February, Valentine's Day comes to mind. However, this celebration feels too commercial, putting pressure on couples and making singles feel guilty about being solo. So, instead, we thought we could create a little self-care challenge for you.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist


  1. Only LoveBen Howard
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack