As A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children… Respect My Choice And Leave Me Alone!

Last updated by Katie M.

For women the expectations are still numerous, and if there is one question in particular that we hear more than any other. I bet you can guess it. Of course, THAT million-dollar question is; ‘when do you plan on having children?’ Even today, in lots of people’s minds, a woman still has to become a mom and if she doesn't want to, she will have to find concrete arguments to justify her decision. It’s time we said stop to this pressure and followed our own dreams instead of forcing ourselves to live up to expectations imposed on us.

As A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children… Respect My Choice And Leave Me Alone!
Contents: 

People never ask IF you want kids, but instead when you'll have them

For us women, our destiny seems to be set; we’re here to give birth to and raise children. In fact, when you talk to a woman who doesn't have children, you always automatically ask ‘when you will have children?’. No human brain seems to accept the idea that not everyone wants kids. Because, yes, sexism is at large and binds us to stereotypical roles. If a man doesn't want kids, he is rarely asked to explain why on the spot. Except that maternal instinct is not innate, no one, regardless of gender, should have to justify their choice.

Especially since each of these justifications will be put down, ‘I don't want children because I love my life as it is, my independence and my freedom’, comeback answer: ‘you are selfish’. Or, ‘I don't want kids because I don't like them’ answer: ‘You’ll feel differently towards your own’. Or again, ‘I don't want any because I can’t imagine myself taking care of them’ answer: ‘Oh, but your instinct will kick in’. Let's admit once and for all that we ask women who don't want children to justify themselves so that we can pick their argument apart whilst ignoring their point of view.

>>> Check out; I don't want to breastfeed.

Not wanting a family is a considerate decision

But who are these embittered women who stubbornly refuse to take advantage of the miracle of life? Hold on, they are not necessarily single women, women with an unhappy childhood or who have an aversion to babies. No, these are women who have simply thought carefully about their choice, whether they are cat lovers, couples, or fans of other people's toddlers.

Women who don't want families don't need to justify their choice, it's a personal decision that belongs to them. Although, very often they do it because the pressure is unbearable, and it must be said that they have many good arguments. The choice not to reproduce is not a provocation or a delirium resurgent from adolescence. No, it is a deep and permanent questioning about oneself, one's life, desires, needs, emotions, and feelings. There is no need to be astonished upon learning this or to look shocked whilst probing for justifications. Not wanting to procreate is a strong will, a deep (no) desire which implies, like any choice, things to lose and things to gain.

In fact, it would be good to understand that the word woman is not synonymous with mom. In fact, women can be happy and blossom without becoming a parent and vice versa. Not having a family is a personal choice that every woman should be able to make, so on that note, let’s decide to leave all of these ladies alone!

Wanting to remain child free isn't an issue

When I first told my family members that I didn't see myself bringing a child into the world, they were shocked and a little confused to say the least. After all, women who choose not to have children don't exactly shout it from the rooftops. I soon learned from their reactions that people were more obsessed with my biological clock than I was, and that certain folks just couldn't wrap their heads around my decision. That being said, spending time explaining to them the reasons behind my choice soon made them realize that I wasn't a monster. After all, not wanting to become a mom shouldn't change what people think of me, or lower my worth.

Why are Millennials not having kids? 5 Reasons why

1) The desire for freedom

The main reason, the one that comes up most frequently, is the desire for freedom. Maternity is perceived by the child-free as an alienation of freedom. For them, becoming a mother would require unlimited devotion and would constitute a burden in their lives. This argument is based on objective and proven facts: the unequal distribution of tasks in the couple.

2) An absence of desire for motherhood

Our society suggests the innate nature of the desire for children in women. This discourse is embodied in the famous biological clock: between the ages of 25 and 35, every woman is supposed to feel the desire to have children. Women are also largely formatted from childhood so that they unconsciously integrate the desire to be mothers. But some of them never feel that desire.

3) Ecological concerns

This motif has become more and more prominent in recent years. So much so that a name has been given to those people who do not want children for ecological reasons. They are called the GINKS (Green Inclinations, No Kids). In 2050, the world population will reach 10 billion human beings who will have to be fed. Some, therefore, consider it necessary to reduce births. Others make arguments based on uncertainty in the future: pandemics, global warming, species extinction, etc. They think that having children in such a context is not a responsible attitude.

4) A professional choice

These women attach particular importance to their professional achievements. For some, as soon as they enter adulthood, fulfillment comes through work and in no case through motherhood. For others, their opinion is less clear-cut at the start. It is once in office that they realize that motherhood could slow down their careers or hinder their professional commitment. In both cases, professional life prevails.

5) A happy childless life

They are simply happy in their lives, fulfilled without children. They have a sense of completeness, single or in a relationship. Likewise, they flourish in different spheres: intellectual, cultural, friendly, associative, sporting, or even artistic. They do not see what motherhood would bring them. This reason is predominant in the younger generations.

Editor's note - And why do you want kids yourself?

You've already realized that this question is never asked of women or couples who are expecting a baby or expressing their desire to be parents. Yet the importance of this question is paramount, but since having children seems to be a necessary step, too few people really question their desire and what drives them to act on it. A little more questioning and less judgment would be a good start for more acceptance, don't you think?

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy… Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

We think you'd also like:

Article presented by
Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

What Are The 6 Types Of Narcissism?

There are a whole range of narcissistic personalities out there, and they scale from highly toxic to rather positive (surprising, right?!). That being said, most mental health experts agree that there are 6 types of narcissistic profiles, which whilst they may all be based on an inflated sense of self-esteem, they are in reality all drastically different, and more or less severe. When it comes to dealing with this type of personality disorder, it’s best to know what you are up against, in order to react appropriately, as well as to avoid falling into their traps and becoming their latest victim. After all, knowledge is power, and that’s never be truer than in this particular context.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Why Your Boyfriend Gets Defensive When You Talk About My Feelings

Relationships are never exactly straightforward, and at points, a crystal ball wouldn’t go amiss when it comes to understanding what your partner’s reactions are hiding. Now, sadly not all of us own a trusty crystal ball, but our experience when it comes to love is just as precious in analyzing potential pitfalls related to emotions. This may sound a little cliché, but us girls love talking about our feelings, whether that be about when we are falling in love, or when we are feeling sad. Yet some guys get really defensive whenever these serious topics come round, here’s why.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

Is Sleeping With A Colleague Or Your Boss A Dangerous Game?

I’ve had a crush on someone at work before. Honestly, if I hadn’t found out later that he was in a relationship, I’d have gone all out to seduce him. Except that we all know the “No sex at work” rule, which means that it’s a bad idea to sleep with a colleague, or worse, your boss! Is it really that dangerous a game? What do you risk if you’re caught in the act? I’ll explain it all to you (yes, I did my homework before going for it)!

I’m Having Doubts About My Relationship

This happens often. Since life in a relationship, and even love, are never a smooth ride, of course, I have my doubts 😵‍💫. Not on the same wavelength, the impression that the grass is greener on the other side, different plans… Under the weight of doubts, love loses its splendor. Can it be fixed? I don’t think so, but the important thing is to know how to react.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Create a Peaceful Living Space

For years, I didn’t really take care of my home. Not that it was dirty, but there was no particular decoration, and most of all, a lot of clutter. Then one day, I decided to do a major decluttering! I thought it would be a dreadful task, but in the end, I realized that organizing my apartment also helped clear my mind. We often overlook this, but having a peaceful living space truly makes a difference!

Mature Love: How Do Relationships Evolve Over Time?

They say that love is like fine wine: it evolves, matures, and becomes even more delightful with time. I say "they say," but in reality, I’m certain of it. Even though I’m single as I write this article, I’ve experienced long-lasting love stories, and there’s nothing quite like reaching mature love—the kind that provides security and support. That’s why today, I want to talk to you about how romantic relationships evolve!



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack