As A Woman Who Doesn’t Want Children… Respect My Choice And Leave Me Alone!

Last updated by Katie M.

For women the expectations are still numerous, and if there is one question in particular that we hear more than any other. I bet you can guess it. Of course, THAT million-dollar question is; ‘when do you plan on having children?’ Even today, in lots of people’s minds, a woman still has to become a mom and if she doesn't want to, she will have to find concrete arguments to justify her decision. It’s time we said stop to this pressure and followed our own dreams instead of forcing ourselves to live up to expectations imposed on us.

Contents: 

People never ask IF you want kids, but instead when you'll have them

For us women, our destiny seems to be set; we’re here to give birth to and raise children. In fact, when you talk to a woman who doesn't have children, you always automatically ask ‘when you will have children?’. No human brain seems to accept the idea that not everyone wants kids. Because, yes, sexism is at large and binds us to stereotypical roles. If a man doesn't want kids, he is rarely asked to explain why on the spot. Except that maternal instinct is not innate, no one, regardless of gender, should have to justify their choice.

Especially since each of these justifications will be put down, ‘I don't want children because I love my life as it is, my independence and my freedom’, comeback answer: ‘you are selfish’. Or, ‘I don't want kids because I don't like them’ answer: ‘You’ll feel differently towards your own’. Or again, ‘I don't want any because I can’t imagine myself taking care of them’ answer: ‘Oh, but your instinct will kick in’. Let's admit once and for all that we ask women who don't want children to justify themselves so that we can pick their argument apart whilst ignoring their point of view.

>>> Check out; I don't want to breastfeed.

Not wanting a family is a considerate decision

But who are these embittered women who stubbornly refuse to take advantage of the miracle of life? Hold on, they are not necessarily single women, women with an unhappy childhood or who have an aversion to babies. No, these are women who have simply thought carefully about their choice, whether they are cat lovers, couples, or fans of other people's toddlers.

Women who don't want families don't need to justify their choice, it's a personal decision that belongs to them. Although, very often they do it because the pressure is unbearable, and it must be said that they have many good arguments. The choice not to reproduce is not a provocation or a delirium resurgent from adolescence. No, it is a deep and permanent questioning about oneself, one's life, desires, needs, emotions, and feelings. There is no need to be astonished upon learning this or to look shocked whilst probing for justifications. Not wanting to procreate is a strong will, a deep (no) desire which implies, like any choice, things to lose and things to gain.

In fact, it would be good to understand that the word woman is not synonymous with mom. In fact, women can be happy and blossom without becoming a parent and vice versa. Not having a family is a personal choice that every woman should be able to make, so on that note, let’s decide to leave all of these ladies alone!

Wanting to remain child free isn't an issue

When I first told my family members that I didn't see myself bringing a child into the world, they were shocked and a little confused to say the least. After all, women who choose not to have children don't exactly shout it from the rooftops. I soon learned from their reactions that people were more obsessed with my biological clock than I was, and that certain folks just couldn't wrap their heads around my decision. That being said, spending time explaining to them the reasons behind my choice soon made them realize that I wasn't a monster. After all, not wanting to become a mom shouldn't change what people think of me, or lower my worth.

Editor's note - And why do you want kids yourself?

You've already realized that this question is never asked of women or couples who are expecting a baby or expressing their desire to be parents. Yet the importance of this question is paramount, but since having children seems to be a necessary step, too few people really question their desire and what drives them to act on it. A little more questioning and less judgment would be a good start for more acceptance, don't you think?

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy… Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

We think you'd also like:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Do Narcissists Always Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll neve...

Read

20 Narcissist Quotes

Narcissists are known for having a certain way with words, these folks certainly use ...

Read

How Do You Know If You Love Someone?

I love him, madly, passionately, madly... Or perhaps not at all... I'll admit it, I'm...

Read

Is My Coworker A Narcissist?

Now, I don’t want to make you paranoid, but the truth is that narcissists are everywh...

Read

I Constantly Need Recognition

Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like I do things according to others. My choices ...

Read

What Does Narcissistic Abuse Feel Like?

Narcissistic abuse is truly one of the most crushing and soul-destroying trials anyon...

Read

Can We Sleep With Someone On The First Night?

“Never on the first night!” We’ve all heard or uttered this phrase before. But here y...

Read

How Do I Cope With Anxiety?

Now, I want to be totally honest with you and definitely aren’t here to tell you that...

Read

Why Owning A Pet Is So Beneficial For Us

Who’s never been moved by a kitten or a puppy? Personally, I melt completely in front...

Read

What Are The 5 Narcolepsy Symptoms To Look Out For?

Sleep is one of the most essential functions for our bodies and minds because it give...

Read

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack