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What does being assertive at work involve?
It was Andrew Salter, an American psychologist, who conceptualized assertiveness at work during the first half of the 20th century. It refers to the ability to āexpress yourself by defending your rights, but without infringing on the rights of othersā. Being assertive at work is about expressing our feelings, including our discomfort. No more keeping quiet if something doesnāt suit us! But beware, itās not about getting angry or speaking curtly either. You have to be able to express your emotions without getting aggressive.
ā” Letās imagine that your manager takes credit for all the work. Instead of saying to your colleagues, āhe takes credit for all the work, I get so angry because everyone else is always forgotten. Itās all about him!ā, itās much better to express your feelings to the other person directly, whilst remaining respectful: āI would have liked to hear that you found my work important and that I also played my part in the success of this projectā.
6 tips to stand up for yourself at work
1. Donāt put yourself down
Believe in yourself! Why should your opinion be less important than someone elseās? A lack of self-confidence is felt at work. Being afraid of othersā judgements and putting yourself down will have a huge impact. Defending your work is essential!
2. Listen
Itās the best way to respond to the situation at hand and not misinterpret a message. Listening to the other person means you respect them. Itās also a way to have a conversation, you can build your argument based on what your colleague or your manager has said.
3. Don't be aggressive
Expressing your point of view doesnāt mean venting your annoyance or your anger! You must start from the assumption that there is a problem with the situation, not the person opposite you. You must not be on the defensive but should resolve conflicts to move the situation forward.
4. Get straight to the point
When you express a feeling, you shouldnāt beat around the bush. Expressing your thoughts clearly and concisely is the best way to ensure that the message is understood properly. In order to do this, you must define your objective clearly so that you are as concise as possible.
5. Use subjective communication
Using this type of communication allows you to express what you feel and think. Using the pronoun āIā gives you the opportunity to express yourself without blaming, judging, criticizing or placing the responsibility on others.
6. Say no when you want to
If someone tells you no, you will accept that they donāt want the same things as you. So, you can say no too! Youāre not saying no the person but to the request instead.
>>> Discover our tips on learning to say no and asserting yourself
Editorās note: Practice makes perfect!Some people are assertive by nature, others arenāt, but the good news is that assertiveness can be learnt! Practice every day, and if you didnāt dare say difficult things, write down on paper what you would have liked to say. Say these sentences out loud and keep in mind the initial objective: communicating clearly and asserting your opinion while taking into account the sensitivities of the person opposite you. Go on, practice! |
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