Narcissistic Injury: In The Grip Of All Things Evil

Last updated by Katie M.

Narcissism is a captivating subject because it often refers to the love we have for ourselves. Now, self-love is very similar to the love we have for others, but it is often the cause of terrible suffering too. If I am a narcissist, if I love myself beyond measure, then I surely have a terrible fear of failure, and if, on the contrary, I carry a deep narcissistic injury within me, then I am unable to appreciate myself to my true value. The balance is, as always, a very thin line, but, this begs the question, how can I love myself better? Well, the obvious answer seems to be by trying to heal this narcissistic wound, whatever it is!

Narcissistic Injury: In The Grip Of All Things Evil

Narcissistic injury equates to bruised self-esteem

The concept, more than the notion of narcissistic injury, appears in Freud's 1914 essay, Introducing Narcissism. Here, he focuses on narcissistic injury to designate the attacks on our narcissism. The result is therefore a loss of self-esteem with multiple consequences: 👇

  • inferiority complex
  • self-contempt
  • feeling of uselessness
  • incessant comparison to others
  • feeling of rejection from others
  • inability to love oneself and fear of loving
  • denigration
  • loss of self-confidence
  • tendency to blame oneself
  • recurring feelings of shame
  • poor self-image
  • damaged mental health

We can therefore oppose two ideas: that of a healthy narcissism which consists of loving and accepting oneself as a whole, as one is, with one's strengths and weaknesses. In opposition, we find the idea of wounded narcissism, which pushes us to denigrate ourselves constantly and to hate ourselves.

What are the 3 narcissistic wounds?

Freud puts forward the hypothesis that great scientific discoveries have inflicted narcissistic wounds on the whole of humanity. Scientific discoveries made Man fall from his pedestal by making him understand that he was not the center of the Universe, that reality was not apprehended through his vision.

  • The Copernican revolution: The Earth is not the center of the Universe, but one of its components.
  • The Darwinian revolution: Man is the fruit of evolution and, as such, an animal like any other.
  • The Freudian revolution: Man is not master of his impulses and his unconscious.

Where does narcissistic injury come from?

Many therapists say that these narcissistic weaknesses go back to childhood or to repeated suffering in adulthood. A bad experience, or a dramatic or traumatic event, is often the cause. These events will weaken a healthy narcissism, making cuts that heal very badly, especially since many people are unaware that they are suffering from narcissistic wounds. In order to identify narcissistic flaws, we can refer to the 5 emotional wounds or "wounds of the soul". Abandonment, rejection, humiliation, injustice, and betrayal. The closer the person who inflicts this wound is to us, the more important it will be.

On a personal note, at the age of 11, I was bullied at school which created a wound of humiliation and a deep cut in my self-esteem. The same is true for children who are emotionally deprived, whose parents are too demanding, even toxic, or worse, children who suffer moral or physical violence from their parents, teachers, or others. Another example is the departure or death of a loved one, especially a parent, which can also cause a wound of abandonment.

How can one heal from a narcissistic wound?

This phenomenon isn't eternal. Depending on its intensity, it can take time to heal, but it is important to admit that something is wrong with us. Sometimes the wound is unconscious, or we don't realize that it affects our lives in one way or another. The exercise can be painful, but we have to be willing to reconnect with this flaw in order to understand and acknowledge it 🙏. In making this journey, it is quite possible for resentment and anger to arise. Remember that negative feelings are brakes. That resentment, that anger, will not help you get better, instead, you'll need to learn to forgive those who hurt you.

The reason I say learning is that forgiving takes time. Once you have done this, turn to yourself. Be tolerant and kind to yourself as often as possible, and as soon as a little voice whispers that you are worthless, shut it up. Use a mantra, positive thoughts or self-talk to help you (re)fall in love with yourself.

Finally, I remain convinced that working with a psychologist or therapist is essential to help identify the source of this wound and to allow us to heal. At a time when the mere memory of elementary school made me feel ashamed and anxious, and I couldn't talk about that period without bursting into tears, it was thanks to the support of a psychologist that I was able to really name things and begin my healing.

The effects of narcissist injury

It is impossible to talk about the narcissistic wound without talking about people with narcissistic traits. For them, such a wound is a gift. They use the wounds of others to manipulate them and serve their own needs. Someone who suffers from a narcissistic wound, and lacks self-esteem, may tend to want to attract the attention of others and thus become prey for a narcissistic pervert. However, it also happens that a narcissistic flaw develops in a person, a narcissistic personality disorder.

A lack of self-esteem can lead to a withdrawal and in more serious cases, to indifference, a lack of empathy, and an inability to love. The wounded narcissist will then become toxic to those around him or her, who will be criticized, attacked, and hurt, especially if envy and jealousy are involved. Seeing others succeed and be happy can be devastating for a wounded narcissist and lead him to hate others.

How do you know when a narcissist is hurt?

When a narcissist is hurt, it is because you have touched one of his weak points, you have exposed him, and he knows it! And that, he doesn't like at all, but not at all!!! Beware of the backlash! Hurt? Yes, but not sentimentally, because he doesn't feel any compassion; an emptiness maybe, but it won't last... Quick, another prey!

Yes, it is important for him to devalue others, it is even vital, that is how he proves himself superior to everyone; otherwise, he feels very uncomfortable, and he cannot bear the fact of being like everyone else, IMPOSSIBLE! If these toxic personalities lose everything, they’ll really suffer, because the idea of their superiority will disappear in the absence of "prey”.

Editor's opinion: Find a therapist to recover

It is possible to free oneself from a narcissistic wound, but the first step is to become aware of it, and this is not always easy. It is necessary to accept that something is wrong and that this narcissistic wound affects your existence in one way or another. Then work on yourself will follow, so I can only advise you to contact a professional who will help you to go back to the origins of this wound and will accompany you in each of the steps of healing.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... It's here and now!


Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Our most popular 'psychology' articles:

What Do Narcissists Hate The Most? - 10 Things That Drive Them Crazy

Knowing what narcissist manipulators hates can help victims to break free from their evil psychological grip. Indeed, even these manipulators see themselves as invulnerable beings, their victims often ignore how their pathological narcissism makes them suffer in many ways. 😱 Let's take a closer look at what these cunning beings cannot stand, and what exactly drives them wild. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too 😈. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else? If, on the other hand, you're looking to get a narcissist hooked on you, you're in the right place with these tips.

The 10 Weak Points Of A Narcissist Revealed

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on 👎.

Are Narcissists Insecure?

There is no denying that narcissistic personalities display some deeply worrying and disturbing traits, but what if these devious traits were just a means of protection? What if they were in fact a complete facade, fabricated to keep people away, in the hope of hiding their deepest darkest insecurities? 😱 After all, everyone has weak spots, even the most confident and put together of people, so why wouldn’t a narcissist deal with the same niggling doubts as everyone else? It's time we got to the bottom of this and discovered why these folks are so insecure.

What Is The 333 Rule For Anxiety And Panic Attacks? It's A Soothing Technique

I want to be completely open and honest with you, so let’s get started. Anxiety has dominated my life for the past 5 years and has been at the root of countless panic attacks and bouts of intense stress 😟. You’ve probably guessed it, but it has had a devastating impact on my mental health and has therefore changed my life for the worst. Now, I’m not here for a pity party, but instead of focusing on the negative sides of this condition, I want to share the most effective tip I’ve found when it comes to feeling less anxious and reducing panic attacks; so without further ado, let’s take a look at the 3-3-3 rule.

Split Personality

Are you familiar with dissociative personality disorder? You may well think of schizophrenia, yet the two conditions are different. What is dissociative personality disorder? We’ll explain all.

How To Heal From The Pain Of Being Rejected

Whether it’s the breakdown of a relationship, a family dispute, or even being fired dismissal... We have all experienced the feeling of being rejected, excluded, or left out. Whilst some people manage to bounce back quite quickly, others suffer from it in a persistent way. As for me, I understood how to move on, because I was able to recognize my rejection wound. So, how can we overcome the fear of rejection and move on from it?


“He’s lying through his teeth!” You’re confronted with a mythomaniac in your close circle. You had no doubts about what they were saying and after conducting your own little investigation, you’re stunned! They’ve been leading you on since the beginning… They invented a life for themselves. But why? How do you recognize a liar, and how can you protect yourself? We’ll tell you everything.

Why We Feel So Socially Exhausted After Lockdown

“Are you coming to the party on Saturday?” After months of restrictions and several lockdowns, I must admit that I wasn’t expecting to hear this question. So I did a series of things, I had drinks with my girlfriends, I went to parties, lunches, etc. And without realizing it, I felt exhausted. Why do I feel like I've been running on empty since the end of lockdown?

More insights into our personalities:

Ergophobia: When The Fear Of Work Eats Away At You…

I know the real fear of work. I suffered from it for a long time, but I’m happy to say that today I’m cured. It’s an illness that can make others smile, as you can easily be seen as lazy. However, it’s not the case for people suffering from ergophobia, the fear of work. Where does this fear come from? How can it be treated? All will be explained.

6 Differences Between Being Self-Centered And Being A Narcissist

When it comes to mental health disorders, the parameters of each condition often seem blurry, and this explains why many of us have trouble identifying them. Plus, certain disorders frequently encompass similar symptoms and traits, making recognizing and therefore understanding them even more complicated. Let’s take being selfish and having a narcissistic personality disorder, for example. Because they overlap on such a huge scale, upon first glance, they do in fact seem indistinguishable to many of us. That being said, when you dig a little deeper, the differences do become more and more apparent.

I Have Fits Of Anger

Anyone who’s never felt anger can close this article! We’ve all felt this virulent emotion at one time or another 😡. It’s neither bad nor good, but it has the right to exist. It’s healthy to feel angry when you’re betrayed or a victim of an injustice. However, when anger attacks are recurrent, it’s good to learn how to control them. When anger hurts others or ourselves, it becomes a problem.

I’m Scared Of Failure

“I won’t manage it”, “I can’t do it”… I often say this because I doubt my abilities tremendously. Being so negative allows me to calm my fear of failure a bit. By doing nothing, I don’t run the risk of failing. I prefer to do nothing and remain in a state of waiting, for fear of not succeeding. So I procrastinate, thinking about the fact that I didn’t take the plunge out of anxiety. How can I overcome this fear to really start doing things?

Why I Hate Conflict And What I Need To Do To Face It

As soon as I feel tension build up with someone close to me, I take flight. I don’t like conflict, even if I don’t agree with the other person, I run from it. As a result, I keep it all inside of me, which can generate a lot of annoyance. Rather than this eating away at us from the inside, we need to learn to overcome this fear of conflict to make our voice heard. Why do we run away from conflict? How can we overcome this fear? Here are some explanations.

What Are The Signs That You Are Unhappy?

I sometimes feel bad, I don’t have the energy anymore… When we encounter financial, family, or other difficulties, as well as serious events such as bereavement, we accumulate psychological wounds. We can be resilient and move on, but we can also be overwhelmed by a growing sense of unease. There’s no shame in feeling bad psychologically, it happens to us all. However, spotting the signs of unhappiness enables us to be alert and to take care of our mental health.

8 Reasons Why Millennials Feel So Lost

If you ever find yourself watching the news or reading traditional journalism outlets, you’ll no doubt have picked up on the bad rep that millennials get. That’s right, we millennials (those of us who were born between 1981 – 1996) are often criticized for being ‘woke’, overly sensitive, entitled, and lazy. Now, isn’t that a bunch of adjectives you’d instantly like to forget! As you can probably tell, I don’t agree with the evaluation regarding our age group and am here to explain why we feel so lost and disconnected.

Why Do We Like Being Scared?

Making up ghost stories, talking about horrible legends, wanting to talk about spirits… I think we all did it when we were children. Even as adults, if we like watching horror films or documentaries about serial killers, it’s because we love scaring ourselves! 😱 However, the question we may ask ourselves is why we like being scared? There are neuropsychological and sociological reasons behind this attraction. All will be explained!

How To Get Rid Of Your Horrid Complexes

Legs too fat, lips too small, scars or even shyness, whether it’s physical or psychological, complexes often have the bad taste of spoiling our lives and making us unhappy. But we won’t let them do that to us! We’re worth more than that, right?

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist


  1. Only LoveBen Howard
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde