How To Put A Stop To Emotional Blackmail

Last updated by Katie M.

After using the excuse of not being able to meet up, your mother makes you feel guilty by saying, “It’s a shame, I would have really liked to have seen you, I’m hurt…” And so, you meet up with her, dragging your heels to please her. Emotional blackmail is everywhere. So how can you stop being manipulated?

How To Put A Stop To Emotional Blackmail
Contents:

Blackmailers are very talented; they make us feel guilty and awful. Emotional blackmail can occur in a relationship, between family members and even between friends. What can you do to stop being tricked?

Emotional manipulators: 4 types to look out for

There are 4 types of blackmailers.

1. Calimero: “How can you do this to me?”

“How can you do this to me?”, “I’m sick”: They systematically act like the victim so that the other person ends up feeling sorry for them and does what they want, sometimes without even clearly expressing their need.

2. The give and take: “You owe me one”

“You owe me that”: Here the blackmailer makes the other person understand that they did them a favor and that they expect it to be returned.

3. Under the guise of kindness: “It’s harmless”

“Come on, he doesn’t mean any harm”, “It’s harmless”: They never raise their voice and use the excuse that it comes from a place of good, so it’s hard to get angry or blame them for anything…

4. Joe the menace: “You’ll never see the kids again”

“If you leave me, I’ll throw myself out of the window”, “If you do that, you’ll never see the kids again”: Depending on their personality, they may decide to turn the threat against themselves or punish you for something you dared to do to them.

Manipulation

Have you spotted a blackmailer in your close circle? React! Don’t let yourself be manipulated anymore and counter-attack!

4 Tips to free yourself from emotional blackmail

If you recognize a member of your close circle in the description above, it’s time to react firmly and prevent this psychological vampire from harming you.

1. Don’t justify yourself

That’s all the manipulator is waiting for! Above all, don’t play their game and don’t give any excuse. If it’s a text message, don’t reply and if it’s a face-to-face exchange, just reply “Ok”, “Feel free to think whatever you want”, “My conscience is clear”.

2. Put your needs and desires first

Set limits for yourself and remind yourself of your desires and needs. Don’t accept anything that disrupts your schedule or damages your physical or mental health.

3. Dare to be confrontational

Don’t hesitate to raise your voice and point out the absurdity of the other person’s request. By daring to be confrontational, you will allow the other person to clearly express their reproaches and the substance of their thoughts, which can then lead to a constructive exchange.

4. Accept that you’re the bad guy

By accepting that you’re imperfect, that you’re “the annoying colleague”, “the bad mother”, “the bad husband”, emotional blackmail will have much less of an impact on you. Of course, it’s not always easy, but you will win. If you still don’t feel up to ridding yourself of a toxic relationship, a psychologist can help you.

Editor’s opinion: The manipulator relies on our beliefs

Faced with emotional blackmail, it’s very hard to react calmly and constructively. For psychotherapist Isabelle Nazare-Aga, the reason is simple: “the manipulator uses family and social beliefs to induce their victim into a strong feeling of moral error”.

The manipulator knows exactly what buttons to push to hurt you: abandonment, selfishness, betrayal, etc. They will never clearly ask you for something but will make you understand, and you’ll end up doing it and offering your services to relieve your conscience. Becoming aware of this grip and getting rid of it isn’t an easy task. Seeing a professional can be a great support.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Fear Of Growing Up

“When I’m older, I’ll be...”. Who hasn’t fantasized about adulthood and the freedom it seemed to offer? The problem is that sometimes you find yourself as an adult, no longer wanting to leave childhood behind, and having to face up to the responsibilities that come along and crush you. But at some point, we all have to face the facts: in real life, our invisibility cloak doesn’t work. You’re a grown-up, and you need to deal with it because if you don’t, you risk falling from a great height and that fall can sometimes be brutal.

Never Say “Tomboy” To A Girl Again!

When I was little, I used to play a lot of Lego and video games. To me, these are passions like any other, and I still play video games at the age of 33. What’s not normal, however, is that when I was younger, I was described as a “tomboy”. In fact, I’ve always hated that term, and I think it’s time to stop using it. It’s sexist and puts a label on girls who don’t fit the stereotypes of their gender, so never say that again!

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Do Narcissists Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control 😨. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

"My Ex Was Crazy" If A Guy Says This… Run!

I am probably the crazy ex. At least, I'm pretty sure some of my exes present me that way to their new girlfriends. Except that description shouldn’t be overlooked because it reveals a lot about a man’s behavior and could be seen as a red flag. What's behind it when a man talks about his ex, who was an alleged total nut job? Here’s why you ought to run as fast as you can if you’re currently dating a guy who deems his ex as crazy.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We’ve no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:15
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack