Why Does Complaining Make Us Feel So Much Better?

Last updated by Katie M.

Although I wouldn't exactly say I'm a negative person, I often feel like I complain a hell of a lot. I moan because it’s too cold or too hot, because people don’t walk fast enough, because the driver in front doesn’t indicate, because I’m tired…You've probably got it by now, but the list goes on and on. However, that being said, I've also realized that those around me do the same too. This attitude may seem like a heavy one to burden, but it does in fact make me feel freer and happier. It's almost like getting the negativity off my chest, helps put a smile on my face.

Complaining as an outlet

Life isn’t perfect and it would be unrealistic to think that we can go through it without complaining. Everybody grumbles. And thank goodness! It’s true that if we’re in a bad mood or angry, you might as well let it be known. It avoids toxic positivity and allows us to take a step back from a situation. After repeatedly whining that my lunch vinaigrette was always spilling in my bag, I ended up buying a container to carry it. It’s a silly little thing, but by not repressing this irritation, this frustration, I lingered on a problem and fixed it. Of course, it wasn’t a very big problem, but complaining to move on, to be more constructive, works with all kinds of problems.

By freeing ourselves of a weight, we destress a bit and are better able to move forward. What’s more, vocalizing what makes us unhappy is good for you because it creates a link. If there are several of us venting about the same thing, there is a good chance that a conversation will start. We told you, it’s great to moan!

>>> Read; I've decided to stop complaining at work

There's an art to complaining

For a complaint to be efficient and not to harm our brains, it still has to be handled well.

1. Moan to the right person

The smartwatch you’ve just bought yourself doesn’t work how you wanted it to. There’s no point spending hours moaning to your partner and huffing every time you look at her. Be efficient and raise your concerns to the after-sales service. You may come out of it with a new watch, an inflated ego and a feeling of power.

2. Prioritize your qualms

If you want to be heard, don’t go on the attack with a list of criticisms. Your train didn’t arrive on time? No need then to whine about the price of the sandwiches, the cleanliness of the toilets and the air conditioning too. These are minor annoyances. What you want is compensation for the delay, so concentrate on that!

3. Avoid the negative spiral

Moaning does us good, but most of the time, it should be constructive too. Avoid therefore complaining to negative people who will drag us down and won’t help us find solutions. Avoid being defeatist and take a step back, let go or change what needs to be changed. Especially since it has been proven that by complaining frequently, the brain tends to retain and adapt to this habit and thus facilitates this behavior. As time goes by, we will therefore be more tempted to see the negative, whatever the situation.

>>> Discover the steps to follow if you want a fresh start

Editor’s note – passive whining

Just like smoking, complaining can also be harmful… even if we don’t do it. We are social and empathetic beings and our brains, with the process of mirror neurons, tend to adapt to the atmosphere and mood of those around us. If we spend our days with people who never stop complaining, there is a risk that we suffer the negative effects: opposition to change, bad moods, pessimism, depression. Distance yourselves and get away from people who endlessly protest and get rid of these toxic relationships.

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Article presented by Katie M.

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