I Hate My Life šŸ˜¢ Here's Why I'm So Unhappy

Last updated by Katie M.

Writing this is definitely something I never thought Iā€™d have the courage to do, but here I am, ready to pour my heart out to complete strangers. The trouble is, Iā€™m unsure of where to begin. Well, for starters, I should probably tell you that my mental health has worsened over the years, and Iā€™ve not exactly learned to deal with my feelings in a healthy way. But thatā€™s not to say I want to give up and be stuck in this downwards spiral forever! Iā€™ve finally decided that I want to stop feeling depressed and get better, because after all, I deserve to love the life I lead and ought to be grateful for my blessings. I want to share with you the changes Iā€™m making in an attempt to fall back in love with life, after all, life is too precious to hate!

I Hate My Life šŸ˜¢ Here's Why I'm So Unhappy
Contents: 

How did I end up loathing life?

Ever since I was diagnosed with depression 5 years ago, Iā€™ve been in a sort of downward funk and havenā€™t been able to look on the bright side of things. Although I may seem to have everything together, I certainly donā€™t. Yes, I have a job, yes I have friends, yes I have supportive family members, but that doesnā€™t mean Iā€™m exempt from feeling hopeless and lost. In fact, none of this stuff actually matters and definitely doesnā€™t provide a miracle solution that allows me to stop feeling so bad. If anything, it makes me feel worse and in a sense more guilty. I canā€™t just flip a switch and turn off what Iā€™m feeling inside. The emptiness in me is way too deep, and nothing seems to help me stop hating the life Iā€™m in.

Iā€™m different to everyone else

I wonā€™t deny it, Iā€™ve never really felt like I fit in with everyone else. The first time I remembered I felt different, I just brushed it off and put it down to my being a hypersensitive teen. And from that point onwards, I buried my true feelings for years and somehow managed to put a smile on my face for 8 hours a day to convince people and probably myself that I was doing well. Well, Iā€™ve had it with doing that and have finally decided to put a stop to all the pretending. 

Friends and family, people of the world, Iā€™m finally ready to admit that I hate my life! Yes, thatā€™s right, I despise my job, I despise having to keep up pretenses and not being able to speak my mind. This life that I lead just doesnā€™t make me happy or fulfill me. In fact, I feel like Iā€™m living to make other people happy and havenā€™t been able to give my own needs a second thought.

Itā€™s time I turned things around

I recently had a revelation that I needed to change. Although I canā€™t currently say I love my life, I want to be able to enjoy things like other people. I want to be able to smile genuinely when I get good news, I want to laugh, I want to have fun and feel free. I want it all, and I want it now! We only get one life, so we may as well make the most of it and do what we can to enjoy ourselves. Understanding that I needed to change is only a small part of this journey. In fact, the hardest part is definitely actioning positive changes, but I think Iā€™m ready for the challenge and want to be able to live my best life!

>>> Find out what hypersensitive people are great at

5 Steps Iā€™m taking in order to stop hating life

The time has come for me to leave this burdensome hatred behind, because I deserve to be happy, so this is how Iā€™m going to go about it.

1) Bye bye social media

Social media is arguably one of the best inventions ever, but it can be extremely harmful and toxic too. Now, whenever I find myself scrolling through photos on Instagram; a little nagging voice in my head awakens and makes me feel even worse about myself. Why isnā€™t my life as perfect as everyone elseā€™s? Why donā€™t I constantly dine out at expensive restaurants? Why donā€™t I vacation in the Bahamas? You probably get the gist, but in case you donā€™t, social media is a platform of comparison for many of us and needs to be left well alone, especially if like me, you suffer from confidence issues.

2) Iā€™ve decided to start eating healthy

Iā€™m definitely not about to go vegan on you, but Iā€™ve definitely discovered the benefits of a good diet. No one loves a big greasy burger more than me, but if Iā€™m honest, eating poorly does nothing for my mood. If anything, it makes me more angry at myself for giving into the temptation. By slowly making the effort to incorporate more fruit and vegetables, Iā€™m starting to see myself in a more positive light and learning that I have enough discipline to achieve change. Iā€™m almost proud of myself, which is super rare for me to say!

3) Iā€™ve started seeing a therapist

Iā€™ve never really been open with my feelings and always worry about the idea of people judging me when I open my heart, and this probably explains why Iā€™ve put going to therapy off for so long. When I finally decided to seek help, I felt like a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, and definitely didnā€™t feel ashamed or weak. Working with my therapist has shown me that I am capable of seeing things differently and donā€™t need to feel terrible about everything 24/7.

4) Iā€™m taking steps to conquer that negative inner voice

We all have a little enemy lying within us, which needs to be banished forever. You know, that little voice that tells us that weā€™re not good enough. These negative triggers are completely toxic and do nothing but bring us down and prevent us from relishing in the beauty of life. Whenever this voice makes itself heard, it needs to be shut down and replaced with positive thoughts.

5) Meditation is my go-to activity

Iā€™ve always heard about how relaxing and freeing meditation is, yet I didnā€™t really believe the hype surrounding it. Although, when I tried it for the first time, I instantly got why so many people turn to it. Being alone with my thoughts in a calm environment allows me to rationalize my feelings and emotions. This safe thinking space is key in showing me that things arenā€™t always as bad as I often assume.

>>> Discover the 5 symptoms of anxiety

Is it normal to dislike life?

Life is full of ups and downs, and sometimes we certainly feel like there are more lows than highs. Whether it be breakups, arguments, or professional failures, our paths are often littered with disappointing events that bring us down and force us to question whether we actually enjoy life. That being said, although we all go through tough times, we must also know how to acknowledge our luck and fortune too. After all, there is always someone much worse off than we are. Disliking life for long periods of time isnā€™t normal, and if you are feeling this way, perhaps itā€™s time for you to consider the possibility that you might be depressed. Depression may seem like an intimidating illness, but with the right support and advice, it is manageable and doesnā€™t stop people from leading fulfilling lives.

Editorā€™s opinion: Thereā€™s no short-term solution

When weā€™ve decided we hate our lives and genuinely struggle to find any positives, it often takes extensive introspection and efforts to turn things around. Thereā€™s no easy solution to fixing what you feel, but taking positive steps will lead you to a happier and brighter place in the long run. The key to feeling better and reconciling with yourself is giving yourself time to realize what you have and just how lucky you are. Mental health is tough, but it doesnā€™t have to ruin everything for you.

šŸ¤— Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Letā€™s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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