Love is very rarely as plain sailing as the movies make it out to be, and with the added stresses and expectations of modern life thrown in, it can often become a toxic cocktail for heartbreak. Being in a relationship should make us better versions of ourselves, but that’s not true for everyone. Whether they put it down to being in a bad mood, or simply having an awful day at work, certain men take their frustrations out verbally on their wives. Now, I’m not claiming to be perfect, but when arguments inevitably roll around, focusing on positive communication instead of spewing hate is definitely a more responsible solution. We all say things we regret, but when malicious comments become too recurring, it’s certainly problematic.
>>> Discover the 7 things you should never say in an argument
Things a husband should never say to his wife
No matter how angry you are, there are things that are completely unforgivable.
1) I don't care about your hobbies
This is like a kick in the teeth to anyone, let alone women. By making such a hard hitting comment, partners will obviously immediately feel dismissed and uninteresting. One of the key pillars of being in a successful marriage is respecting your partner's hobbies, no matter how silly they may seem. After all, you are supposed to be their biggest cheerleader.
2) I don’t believe you
Now, this is undoubtedly a phrase that instantly adds fuel to the flames! There is probably no worse feeling in the world than being disbelieved and made to feel guilty about something you haven’t done. Plus, if your man paints insinuates that you are a liar, you need to treat this as a massive red flag.
3) You look tired
Let’s be honest, no one, and I mean no one, likes hearing negative and catty comments about their appearance. And, we all know that saying that someone looks tired is a polite way of saying they look completely awful. Thanks for the confidence boost… NOT!
4) Don’t you find (insert name) attractive?
Even when we are in relationships, we all have crushes, but that’s not to say that we should go on and on about that drop-dead gorgeous Hollywood star we’re low-key obsessed with. Affirming that we are okay with unrealistic beauty standards would make anyone feel terrible…
5) I need some space
When this fab little phrase comes out of nowhere, it often strikes us like a dagger to the heart, especially when no semblance of an explanation is offered. After all, it does feel synonymous with a breakup.
6) I’m going out tonight, don’t wait up
If your partner knows you struggle with jealousy and gets a kick out of pushing your buttons, and playing with your emotions, you ought to give your relationship a second thought. Moving away from the jealous point, things like this worry women too!
7) Don’t get involved, I’ll take care of it
You’ve guessed it, this is a completely misogynistic phrase that is used to undermine us as women. Now, just because
we are women doesn’t mean we are incapable of handling our business. We might be the fairer sex, but we know how to get things done.
8) You’ve changed
This evasive little sentence is something that men often used to imply they are uncomfortable around you, simply because they find you intimidating. Although, here their goal is to disarm you, don’t let them win.
9) You’re crazy
We’ve no doubt all heard this at least once. This passive-aggressive comment is perhaps one of the worst things a husband can say to his wife. Not only is it disrespectful, it’s also the perfect example of gaslighting and intense manipulation.
>>> Read about the dangers of gaslighting
10) You’re so dramatic
Being accused of blowing things out of proportion is a completely toxic evaluation for any male partner to make. We all handle things differently, and the way in which we go about it doesn’t deserve to be looked down upon or belittled.
11) Is it that time of the month again?
Saying this is like waving a red flag to a bull… Why do insecure partners always try to embarrass women about being women? Plus, what do our menstrual cycles have to do with anything?!
12) Are you sure you want to eat that?
Fat shaming is a classic go-to for any manipulative husband. It’s an effective way for them to crush your self-esteem and make you feel lucky to be with them. In short, this vicious comment in completely self-serving for insecure men.
13) Go change, you look ugly
Physical appearance is always a no-go, no matter how frustrated or angry your partner is. Making someone feel bad for the way they look is absolutely crushing and often marks the start of a cycle of hazardous emotional abuse.
14) My ex did things so much better
If your husband wants to make you feel particularly terrible about yourself, then he’ll mention his ex, and make a point of comparing you to her. He definitely won’t be shy in letting you know how much better at everything she was.
15) That’s impressive... for a woman
Talk about demeaning and degrading! Although some guys seem to have missed the memo, women are just as powerful and capable as anyone else, and don’t need permission to shine.
What are the top 5 things that ruin a marriage?
Marriage is a beautiful bond between two people, yet one that can be extremely fragile, too. Marriage is a commitment that requires investment and care in order to survive. That being said, there are many things that can ruin this bond, here are the top 5 things capable of destroying it;
- 1) Dishonesty - Constant lying will rip any good couple apart.
- 2) Lack of communication - Not saying how you feel will only cause tension to build.
- 3) Being disrespectful - No one wants a rude partner now, do they?!
- 4) Gaslighting - This form of abuse will destroy any form of trust that exists.
- 5) Adultery - Cheating is certainly one of the hardest things to come back from.
The psychological impact of verbal abuse in marriage
Words have lasting power, and their impact often goes deeper than physical wounds. When a spouse consistently uses degrading language, it creates emotional scars that can take years to heal. Understanding this damage is crucial for recognizing when casual remarks cross into abuse territory.
Research shows that verbal abuse can actually alter brain chemistry over time. Victims often experience decreased self-worth, anxiety, and depression, even long after the relationship ends. This invisible trauma can affect future relationships and overall life quality.
Breaking the cycle of harmful communication
Changing destructive communication patterns requires awareness and commitment from both partners. The first step is recognizing that certain phrases aren't just "heat of the moment" comments, but rather indicators of deeper respect issues. Here are some strategies for healthier interactions:
Creating a safe space for honest dialogue
Healthy marriages thrive on open communication, but this requires creating an environment where both partners feel safe expressing themselves. When couples establish ground rules for respectful dialogue, they're better equipped to handle disagreements without resorting to harmful language.
Rebuilding trust after verbal abuse
Recovery from verbal abuse is possible, but it requires dedication and often professional help. The healing process involves not just stopping harmful communication, but also learning new ways to express emotions and handle conflicts. Both partners must be committed to change for the relationship to survive.
Editor’s opinion — Don’t let spitefulness dim your shineAs women, we are frequently undermined both in our professional lives and when it comes to love. But, that’s not to say we should sit around and feel sorry for ourselves. Instead, whenever we are faced with criticism, sexism or unfair comments, we need to let our strength of character shine through and show the world that we aren’t afraid.
🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!
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