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Why does the term âcougarâ sexist?
First, we say âfemale cougarâ but never âmale cougarâ đ. Itâs not right that thereâs no term to define an older man dating a âyoung girlâ. In fact, a few years ago, Jennifer Lopez went on a rant about the word cougar on Ellen DeGeneresâ TV show. She explained that she hated this term and that it showed how sexist it was đ€:
đ€ âI hate that people put a label on women who date a younger man. If a young man is interested in me, whatâs the big deal? Iâm not specifically looking for younger men. If they like me, then great.â J. Lo |
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Where does the term cougar come from?
In order to understand, I wondered about the origin of the term âcougarâ đ§. The word is said to have appeared for the first time in the 1980s to refer to older female fans of a Canadian ice hockey team. Why associate a woman with a predator? Because men are scared of women being independent and able to make âmale choicesâ. A female cougar steps out of the âroleâ of motherhood and the well-behaved woman, just like those who donât want children.
đ The word âcougarâ has become increasingly prominent, and the media takes delight in labelling older women who are dating a younger man. As a result, the word has grown in popularity, while on the other hand, there is no term for men.
Why do men date younger women?
Sean Penn, Johnny Depp, George Clooney, Michael Douglas, Harrison Ford, Bruce Willis⊠So many famous men have dated a woman at least 15 years younger than them and nobody batted an eyelid. They just donât get asked about it, unlike women. As Ellen DeGeneres pointed out, this has always been the case because an older woman is seen as less attractive.
The older woman âready for the scrapheapâ
Oh yes, thatâs the big problem. Weâre made to understand that when we get older, we become less seductive. A multitude of injunctions push us to be ever thinner and younger đ€Šââïž. Women arenât allowed to get older, otherwise thereâs a risk that their partner turns to a younger model. And this is seen as normal by society! Whereas the opposite is pointed at.
We have to justify older women who date younger men because itâs seen as abnormal or ridiculous. Yet itâs completely misogynistic đ âŠ
Every woman can choose her partner as she sees fit
As society evolves, weâre able to free ourselves more and more from the patriarchy, even if thereâs still a long way to go đ ... Now we are fighting for equal pay, for the distribution of the mental load, to condemn harassment in the streets, etc.
Today, we have the right to love who we want, as long as there is desire and consent between the two people (or more, weâve got nothing against polyamory!). The cards have been reshuffled and the clichĂ©s about older women dating younger men have been put to bed! Itâs not a conscious choice to date a younger person. The only thing to say is that youâre guided by love and the will to take the same path together đ€.
More open-minded men
I still have a ready-made excuse to tell people who ask about female cougars. I sometimes bring it up too when people tell me Iâm with a âyoungsterâ (I darenât imagine what they say about an older woman đ). The only valid thing that can be said is that at least young men are more open-minded than their elders! Yes, itâs a change from the husband who expects his wife to stay in her place, raise children and do the household choresâŠ
In any case, if I were fresh out of a divorce after a situation like that, clearly I wouldnât want to go back. Iâd turn to a younger man with a very open mind and who acts so that women are considered as equals to men. Goodbye to the macho men who comfort themselves in the patriarchal system đź!
Editorâs note: Age doesnât matter, as long as you love each other!Younger, older, from a different social or cultural background, it doesnât matter! At the end of the day, itâs all about love and each relationship, if it makes you happy, deserves to be lived without wasting time looking back on disparaging and sexist looks and labels. Loving as you want is still one of the most beautiful ways to progress the world and mentalities. And if these reflections bother you, make you uncomfortable, or worse, prevent you from living how you should, donât hesitate to contact one of our coaches. Together, youâll learn how to free yourself from them. đ€ Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... Itâs here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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