I’m Scared Of Making Phone Calls - Calling People Gives Me Anxiety

Last updated by Katie M.

One phone call and, bang, the stress rises: who is this calling me? Why are they phoning me? Will I be able to talk without stuttering? So many questions that rush around my head and make my hands sweat immediately. And, it gets even worse when I have to make a call for myself! I know I'm not the only one in this situation, many young people have trouble making phone calls, and some are even afraid to make one. Why do we have this level of anxiety about picking up the phone? And, how can we get rid of it?

I’m Scared Of Making Phone Calls - Calling People Gives Me Anxiety
Contents: 

Why am I afraid of making phone calls?

I have always felt stressed about the idea of making or receiving an unexpected phone call, and this fear is in fact called "telephobia or phone anxiety". Now, I have always been afraid of stammering and not being able to express myself when chatting. Plus, I feel like the person on the other end of the phone is going to judge me and have a better argument than I do, no matter what I have to say or why I'm calling 😅. Also, not having my caller in front of me often bothered me. Indeed, on the phone, it's hard to get other implicit messages across through non-verbal communication 😥...

A social difficulty

In reality, I think my fear of making phone calls has long reflected my social discomfort. I've never been too sure how to behave around others. It's even worse when I don't have eye contact with the person, therefore the phone has never been my friend. I even had an anxiety attack over the phone at times because I had to call the IRS, that's how much I hate the idea 🙄... To top it off, I'm an introvert, so I have all the specifics together to be afraid of the phone 😅.

👉 I know I'm not the only one in my generation who doesn't like to use the "call" feature on a phone, but why is that 👀?

Why don't young people like to call?

I was born in the early 90s, and back then the only way to communicate quickly was by phone. Only, at that time, I was still a kid! I actually grew up, like other Gen Y and Gen Z kids (otherwise known as millennials), with a conditioning of communication to the written word 💻.

It is the doctor in sociology, Catherine Lejealle, who explains that from 1996, instant messaging took over. In particular because of the fixed prices and the progressive arrival of Internet. So we evolved with a new method of communication that we quickly appropriated to the detriment of the telephone 😬.

TelephobiaYou may be interested in this article >>> Why are millennials unhappy at work?

Asynchronous and on-demand communication

In reality, there are two reasons why we don't like to call when we belong to the "gen Y":

  • We prefer to use other asynchronous modes of communication with social networks, voice notes, stories, ... They are much more creative 😌 !
  • We work on demand: a phone call implies pressure, because the phone exchange is now or never. We prefer to choose when we want to exchange 😶.

And yes, a phone call implies a synchronization of two people, which can happen, but which puts us in discomfort since we are not used to exchanging like this. So much so that 76% of Generation Y feel stress when the phone rings, according to an English study on telephobia 😅...

"I'm gen Z What does that mean?  It means he's afraid to call people!  No it doesn't.  Ring ring ring Stop! You're going to scare him off."

How can you stop being afraid to call?

The phone is still a much used mode of communication. That's why I've been working on myself to stop being afraid of the phone. I put a few things in place that helped me progress, here are my tips:

👉 Screening calls: I have no problem answering my family and friends, in that case I pick up right away. However, just because I have a phone doesn't mean I have to answer everyone, especially scams... So I put calls from numbers I don't know on total silent. If it's important: they'll leave a message! It allows me to call back when I feel ready to do so 😌.

👉 Practicing with small calls: Sometimes you have no choice but to call anyway. To get used to it, I started with small, innocuous, less scary calls: making a doctor's appointment, ordering a pizza 🍕, etc. Basically, you have to get used to one call = one simple action again. And afterwards, we'll be better able to develop a richer exchange based on our need 👌 !

👉 Taking notes: When I had bigger calls to make, like a job interview, I had taken notes ahead of time. This helped me stick to a thread, especially when I got the question "why you and not someone else?" 😱. This way, I wasn't thrown off (too much), as I was able to hold onto what I had prepared in writing 📝!

👉 Take a deep breath: Before I make a phone call, I work on breathing exercises to deeply relax. This is what meditation taught me, the more oxygen we get, the more relaxed our bodies become. This also works when the call is incoming, I take a deep breath during a ring and pick up 💬 !

You may be interested in this article >>> I constantly need recognition, how do I stop seeking approval from others?

Understanding where your fear comes from

Beyond these tips, I think it's essential to understand where your phone anxiety comes from. For my part, I understood over time that it had something to do with my fear of others' gaze and my social anxiety. In order to overcome my fear of the telephone and of making calls, I had to work on what was behind it. After a while, I managed to calm down my thoughts that were going in all directions. This allowed me to take a step back and tell myself that there was no reason for a phone call to go as badly as the scenarios I had imagined. After all, no one has ever come out of a handset and hit me 💀 !

Editor's note: Getting through it with CBT.

Phone anxiety is a disabling fear that is difficult to combat alone. It hides a bigger problem, like a lack of self-confidence or a fear of others. In order to overcome it and not miss the phone call of her life, cognitive and behavioral therapy is very appropriate. It allows you to get rid of your anxieties little by little, so don't hesitate to be accompanied if you feel the need:

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... It's here and now!
#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.

Our most popular 'psychology' articles:

What Happens When A Narcissists Loses Control? These 10 Things...

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. 😨 Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too 😈. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else? If, on the other hand, you're looking to get a narcissist hooked on you, you're in the right place with these tips.

What Is The 333 Rule For Anxiety And Panic Attacks? It's A Soothing Technique

I want to be completely open and honest with you, so let’s get started. Anxiety has dominated my life for the past 5 years and has been at the root of countless panic attacks and bouts of intense stress 😟. You’ve probably guessed it, but it has had a devastating impact on my mental health and has therefore changed my life for the worst. Now, I’m not here for a pity party, but instead of focusing on the negative sides of this condition, I want to share the most effective tip I’ve found when it comes to feeling less anxious and reducing panic attacks; so without further ado, let’s take a look at the 3-3-3 rule.

Are Narcissists Insecure?

There is no denying that narcissistic personalities display some deeply worrying and disturbing traits, but what if these devious traits were just a means of protection? What if they were in fact a complete facade, fabricated to keep people away, in the hope of hiding their deepest darkest insecurities? 😱 After all, everyone has weak spots, even the most confident and put together of people, so why wouldn’t a narcissist deal with the same niggling doubts as everyone else? It's time we got to the bottom of this and discovered why these folks are so insecure.

The 10 Weak Points Of A Narcissist Revealed

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on 👎.

What Do Narcissists Hate The Most? - 10 Things That Drive Them Crazy

Knowing what narcissist manipulators hates can help victims to break free from their evil psychological grip. Indeed, even these manipulators see themselves as invulnerable beings, their victims often ignore how their pathological narcissism makes them suffer in many ways. 😱 Let's take a closer look at what these cunning beings cannot stand, and what exactly drives them wild. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Split Personality

Are you familiar with dissociative personality disorder? You may well think of schizophrenia, yet the two conditions are different. What is dissociative personality disorder? We’ll explain all.

How To Heal From The Pain Of Being Rejected

Whether it’s the breakdown of a relationship, a family dispute, or even being fired dismissal... We have all experienced the feeling of being rejected, excluded, or left out. Whilst some people manage to bounce back quite quickly, others suffer from it in a persistent way. As for me, I understood how to move on, because I was able to recognize my rejection wound. So, how can we overcome the fear of rejection and move on from it?

Mythomania

“He’s lying through his teeth!” You’re confronted with a mythomaniac in your close circle. You had no doubts about what they were saying and after conducting your own little investigation, you’re stunned! They’ve been leading you on since the beginning… They invented a life for themselves. But why? How do you recognize a liar, and how can you protect yourself? We’ll tell you everything.

Why We Feel So Socially Exhausted After Lockdown

“Are you coming to the party on Saturday?” After months of restrictions and several lockdowns, I must admit that I wasn’t expecting to hear this question. So I did a series of things, I had drinks with my girlfriends, I went to parties, lunches, etc. And without realizing it, I felt exhausted. Why do I feel like I've been running on empty since the end of lockdown?

More insights into our personalities:

6 Reasons Why Narcissists Never Apologize - They Hate Saying Sorry

I’ll be the first to admit that my stubbornness means I’m not exactly the most willing person when it comes to uttering the words ‘I’m sorry’, but I always push through my pride; although unfortunately, the same can’t be said for narcissists... Indeed, people who suffer from this personality disorder will simply never hold their hands up and accept responsibility for their actions, despite how deeply they’ve hurt your feelings. 😱 You know the idiom getting blood from a stone, right? Well, when it comes to apologies from these toxic personalities, nothing is more appropriate, and here are 6 reasons why!

6 Differences Between Being Self-Centered And Being A Narcissist

When it comes to mental health disorders, the parameters of each condition often seem blurry, and this explains why many of us have trouble identifying them. Plus, certain disorders frequently encompass similar symptoms and traits, making recognizing and therefore understanding them even more complicated. Let’s take being selfish and having a narcissistic personality disorder, for example. Because they overlap on such a huge scale, upon first glance, they do in fact seem indistinguishable to many of us. That being said, when you dig a little deeper, the differences do become more and more apparent.

Ergophobia: When The Fear Of Work Eats Away At You…

I know the real fear of work. I suffered from it for a long time, but I’m happy to say that today I’m cured. It’s an illness that can make others smile, as you can easily be seen as lazy. However, it’s not the case for people suffering from ergophobia, the fear of work. Where does this fear come from? How can it be treated? All will be explained.

I Have Fits Of Anger

Anyone who’s never felt anger can close this article! We’ve all felt this virulent emotion at one time or another 😡. It’s neither bad nor good, but it has the right to exist. It’s healthy to feel angry when you’re betrayed or a victim of an injustice. However, when anger attacks are recurrent, it’s good to learn how to control them. When anger hurts others or ourselves, it becomes a problem.

I’m Scared Of Failure

“I won’t manage it”, “I can’t do it”… I often say this because I doubt my abilities tremendously. Being so negative allows me to calm my fear of failure a bit. By doing nothing, I don’t run the risk of failing. I prefer to do nothing and remain in a state of waiting, for fear of not succeeding. So I procrastinate, thinking about the fact that I didn’t take the plunge out of anxiety. How can I overcome this fear to really start doing things?

Why I Hate Conflict And What I Need To Do To Face It

As soon as I feel tension build up with someone close to me, I take flight. I don’t like conflict, even if I don’t agree with the other person, I run from it. As a result, I keep it all inside of me, which can generate a lot of annoyance. Rather than this eating away at us from the inside, we need to learn to overcome this fear of conflict to make our voice heard. Why do we run away from conflict? How can we overcome this fear? Here are some explanations.

What Are The Signs That You Are Unhappy?

I sometimes feel bad, I don’t have the energy anymore… When we encounter financial, family, or other difficulties, as well as serious events such as bereavement, we accumulate psychological wounds. We can be resilient and move on, but we can also be overwhelmed by a growing sense of unease. There’s no shame in feeling bad psychologically, it happens to us all. However, spotting the signs of unhappiness enables us to be alert and to take care of our mental health.

8 Reasons Why Millennials Feel So Lost

If you ever find yourself watching the news or reading traditional journalism outlets, you’ll no doubt have picked up on the bad rep that millennials get. That’s right, we millennials (those of us who were born between 1981 – 1996) are often criticized for being ‘woke’, overly sensitive, entitled, and lazy. Now, isn’t that a bunch of adjectives you’d instantly like to forget! As you can probably tell, I don’t agree with the evaluation regarding our age group and am here to explain why we feel so lost and disconnected.

Why Do We Like Being Scared?

Making up ghost stories, talking about horrible legends, wanting to talk about spirits… I think we all did it when we were children. Even as adults, if we like watching horror films or documentaries about serial killers, it’s because we love scaring ourselves! 😱 However, the question we may ask ourselves is why we like being scared? There are neuropsychological and sociological reasons behind this attraction. All will be explained!

How To Get Rid Of Your Horrid Complexes

Legs too fat, lips too small, scars or even shyness, whether it’s physical or psychological, complexes often have the bad taste of spoiling our lives and making us unhappy. But we won’t let them do that to us! We’re worth more than that, right?

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:15
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde