Why Do I Get Angry So Easily? What’s Behind It?

Last updated by Lauren Hart

The pressure builds up quickly, and then suddenly you’re telling them where to get off. Anger washes over us like a wave, an uncontrollable tidal wave. Even though it sounds impressive, it’s normal to feel angry. Everyone experiences it. But where it becomes problematic is when it’s constant and violent. Why might we feel angry all the time? What’s behind it? When everything’s getting on top of us, we need to go back to the roots of our anger to get rid of it and live more serenely.

Why Do I Get Angry So Easily? What’s Behind It?

Is it normal for me to get angry all the time?

One action or word out of place and boom, it all blows up 😡. Anger comes galloping in, like a rabid horse. We become someone else, like the Hulk who transforms, and we start to be aggressive, even with the people we love. You have no control over anything, you become disrespectful, you say hurtful things, and in the worst case, you feel like hitting something… or someone.

Angry Hulk

Like the transforming Hulk, our anger gets out of our control 💥!

We have the right to be angry, it’s even rather healthy. Nevertheless, when anger becomes uncontrollable and recurrent, it’s a real plague 🤬. We embody a toxic person, or even a violent person, for others, such is a problem. Moreover, it can take another form and be more muted. Anger can be invisible and it can be directed at yourself. We can come to harm ourselves to release this emotion that’s eating away at us...

👉 Anger shouldn’t be blown out of proportion and to avoid getting to that point, we need to understand what’s behind this resentment.

Why do I get angry so easily? - Poor emotional management

Anger is a powerful emotion, so powerful that it takes up all the space in our heads and bodies. However, there are often other emotions that are at the root of this anger, except that we don’t perceive them (any longer). Being angry all the time means that we have bad emotional management, as we’re unable to work out what’s at the origin of our anger 😥. Sadness? Fear? Jealousy? Resentment? So many emotions are lurking in the shadows and can affect us and cause anger.

It’s never easy to deal with our negative emotions, but it’s important to detect them and fully welcome them in order to be able to free ourselves from them. Thus, we can manage to avoid anger, we defuse it by going directly to its roots 🌳.

📌 My testimonial

Personally, when I get angry, I often know that there’s annoyance behind it. Yes, I have a slight intolerance to frustration, and I think many of us do! It’s true, it’s never easy to see that things aren’t going our way, especially when we feel strongly about it. However, since I identified this issue, I can better understand where my anger comes from. It can come out, but when it does, I isolate myself and try to understand it. Why do I feel this way? And once I have deciphered this bunch of feelings and the origin of my frustration, I feel much better.

An unidentified unhappiness

Beyond poor management of your frustration, you may be constantly irritable. Nothing suits us, and the slightest thing annoys us. This feeling can be a sign of unhappiness that we don’t recognize (or don’t want to recognize). Except that this suffering has to come out somehow, and it materializes itself in the form of constant anger. The root of this pain can be a psychological illness such as depression 🌪️. Yes, anger and irritability are some of the symptoms of depressionMany psychiatrists agree that these are the first signs of this mental illness, which affects at least 300 million people worldwide.

Another disorder that can also cause anger is anxiety 😰. When we get anxious about everything and when it all becomes an insurmountable mountain, our brain can’t handle it anymore. That’s when we “blow a fuse” and our anger comes out! This generalized anxiety no longer allows us to keep things in perspective and to take enough of a step back, so we don’t allow ourselves to be overcome.

How do I stop getting angry all the time?

As I said, when you see the anger coming, you can implement an immediate solution by isolating yourself. You can do breathing exercises, ask yourself questions like: What are the facts? What are my thoughts about this? What’s the solution to these facts? This allows you to calm your inner anger quickly, but when it’s constant, it needs to be put into words.

“Words are doctors for the diseased temper.” – Aeschylus

This quote from the Greek tragic poet is still relevant today, even 2500 years later. Expressing your anger and talking about it helps you to identify the emotions or the unhappiness behind it. Of course, it’s best to talk to a therapist, who can help and guide us on this process of understanding. Most often, cognitive and behavioral therapy is suggested, so we can profoundly change our way of perceiving things and thus learn to better control our anger.

Editor’s note: Listening to yourself is the key!

Anger is an emotion that we feel like we can’t control, but this isn’t true. By understanding where it comes from, we end up calming down. The best solution is therefore to listen to yourself and develop your emotional intelligence to get out of this state. However, this isn’t an easy exercise to do alone, especially if you’ve never learned to identify your emotions. So don’t hesitate to talk to one of our therapists if you feel like you’re always angry or irritable.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde