Making Yourself Your Priority: What If You Were A Bit More Selfish?

The importance of being (a bit) more selfish

As we’ve said, selfishness is far from a virtue. According to the dictionary, here’s the definition of the word: “Excessive attachment to oneself and one’s interests, with little regard for the interests of others.” That’s not a very nice quality. I myself hate selfish, egocentric people 😅.

And yet…

I think a little dose of selfishness from time to time can’t do any harm. Let me explain: in my opinion, we should at least pay attention to ourselves. By this, I mean that it’s a good idea to listen to yourself and make yourself your priority. Why? Quite simply because you need to make yourself happy first before you can bring happiness to others. You need to get rid of the savior syndrome and give yourself time and attention. If you don’t, you end up having a burn-out and above all developing frustration and resentment.

You’re born alone, and you die alone, so you might as well make sure that your relationship with yourself is good, don’t you think?

Looking inward, a difficult exercise

Our flaws, our wounds, our dark areas… It’s so much more comfortable to ignore them, to pretend they don’t exist. But the problem is that by refusing to see them, we let them control us from the inside, giving them immense power over our lives.

We need to be ready to accept whatever comes our way, even if it’s painful, even if it doesn’t match the image we’d like to have of ourselves. We need to be willing to let go of control, to be vulnerable. And that, in a society that often values performance and success at all costs, is far from easy.

However, despite all these difficulties, looking inward remains an incredibly valuable and liberating exercise 🥺. It’s the only way to really get to know ourselves, understand our mechanisms, and transform them.

👋 You may be interested in this article: Why can't I make a decision?

Finding the right balance between selfishness and altruism

Be careful, I’m not saying “if you don’t love yourself, no one else will”. The idea is to learn how to cultivate a healthy relationship with yourself, by listening to your little inner voice so that you can make the best possible choices, the ones that soothe you.

Of course, it’s not a question of going too far in the opposite direction and becoming egocentric in the true sense of the word. I’m not saying that we should be indifferent and neglect others. No, empathy, altruism, sharing, and caring for others are important. The right balance is needed between taking care of yourself and being attentive to others 🤗.

Nonetheless, we also need to take care of our mental health by learning to say no when necessary, by daring to assert ourselves and stand up for our own needs, etc. As such, we lay the foundations for a more harmonious life, and we take care of ourselves. In the end, it’s not so much about selfishness, as clinical psychologist Carla Marie Manly explains, it’s about soothing ourselves.

By being a bit more selfish in my own terms, I think we manage to be happier and ultimately more available to others when they need it 😉.

Be sure to check out these articles too;

• How do you find your passion?
• How to find your genius zone at work
• Is amorality selfishness or freedom?