I’m Afraid Of Sleeping Away From Home: My Nights From Hell

Last updated by Katie M.

I’m going on vacation soon, I’m really looking forward to it, but there’s one small problem, I’m unable to sleep outside my home. Between the fear of the dark and the fear of the unknown, far from my usual cocoon, my nights turn into a nightmare, without me even closing my eyes!

I’m Afraid Of Sleeping Away From Home: My Nights From Hell

My nights on red high alert: why I can’t sleep anywhere else

I arrive in a hotel room, at my holiday destination, or at my friends’ country home, and I’m thrilled, but when night falls, and it’s time to go to bed, I turn into a bedroom survivalist. 🤯 I survey, I watch, I observe. The door double-locked, ok. Light switch, bedside lamp, or night light nearby, ok. Check under the bed, ok. Three trips to the bathroom, ok. And after all that, I’m still unable to sleep. It doesn’t matter whether I’ve had a 4-hour journey, an hour and a half in the pool, or 6 glasses of wine and a good dinner, I can’t get to sleep.

To begin with, I'm scared of the dark and when it’s dark in an environment that’s unknown to me, it’s even more worrying. The slightest noise turns my stomach, and profound silence stresses me out. So I start thinking about all those people who get killed on holiday, you know, those people in TV series! 😱 What happens is that I’m hypervigilant. Well, the left half of my brain is hypervigilant.

👉 It’s a reflex inherited from our ancestors when they were susceptible to attack during the night by animals or other humans. If I reason with myself, I know that there’s little chance of me being attacked in this charming little beachside flat, but my survival instinct prefers to keep an eye out and so do I.

And when the next day comes

Sometimes when it’s 5.30 or 6 am, and I’m still not asleep, when the first light of day appears behind the shutters, I feel reassured and grab a few moments of sleep. Not enough. The day after the first night away isn’t the worst, it’s the day after that’s more complicated. My brain’s hypervigilance is gradually extinguished, and I finally fall asleep, no more reassured, but exhausted… literally!

How to sleep better away from home?

There aren’t really any solutions to make sleeping away from home easier, but at best, I’ve put a few tips in place:

  • 👉 I take my own pillow. The smell, the feel, the fabric, the softness, I know everything about my own pillow, and it has a way of reassuring my brain.
  • 👉 I take a night light with me. It’s one of the first things I bought to make my time in the maternity ward easier (it was one of my must-haves for a good post-natal experience). I don’t know how I did it before, but since I’ve used night lights, I take them whenever I have to sleep away from home. If I wake up in a panic, I turn it on for a while and I can get back to sleep more easily, reassured by the soft light.
  • 👉 I watch a TV series or listen to the radio. So yes, I know that the blue light emitted by screens isn’t good for your sleep as it prevents the production of melatonin, but watching a TV series on my phone is a good way for me to have light and a busy mind. The only condition is that you have an understanding partner!

If you also have trouble sleeping anywhere other than your home, you should know that it’s no big deal 😉. You need to tell yourself that because if you worry for several days before the big night, you’ll never be able to enjoy your days and bedtime might turn into an anxiety attackSet up your own reassurance techniques. If you have to look under the bed, at the back of the cupboards or put a chair in front of the door, do it and remind yourself that night can seem bad, but is still restful. And even if you don’t believe it at the time, you’ll end up falling asleep!

Editor’s note: where does this fear come from?

This fear of sleeping away from home may reflect inner insecurity or difficulty letting go outside a familiar and secure environment. If this fear has persisted since childhood, it may be interesting to find the cause, perhaps a fear of abandonment by sleeping somewhere else? Determining the origin will help to overcome it. Cognitive and behavioral therapies, CBTs, give very good results, so don’t hesitate to contact a psychologist.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

Imagine if you could fall in love in just 36 questions? Well, it's possible! An experiment conducted by the American researcher in psychology, Arthur Aron, was set up to study this possibility. Thanks to the questions of the experiment, it is in fact possible to fall in love with a stranger or to rekindle the flame between two exes. Whether you believe the hype or not, it might be interesting to put things to the test and to discover the questions of the experiment! After all, these 36 little interrogations could lead you to finding the love of your life.

Mindfulness Meditation

Ah meditation! Who still hasn’t heard of it? For several years now, this practice has been gaining in popularity. Is it a need to slow down or a desire to find a haven of peace in an ever-changing and stressful world? Maybe. What exactly is mindfulness meditation? What are the benefits? And is it good for everyone? 1, 2, 3, breathe and dive into a more zen world!

What Causes Our Nightmares?

It's still dark when I open my eyes, and my heart is pounding out of my chest. In any case, phew, because I'm still alive and kicking. That man who was chasing me through that abandoned house wasn’t real, and I haven’t been chopped up into hundreds of little pieces. It was all just a bad dream... Like many people, I often have nightmares and have decided that I want to get to the bottom as to why. Let’s take a look together at what causes these disturbing dreams and traumatic events. 😱

Am I In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

Love is such an unpredictable journey that it gives the perfect cover for emotionally abusive partners to hide behind masks of perfect Mr. Darcy-like characters. Now, let's face it, no devious manipulator enters a relationship by showing their true colors. In the beginning, they make for caring and supportive partners, that is, until they've got you completely hooked. Once they believe you are sufficiently spellbound by them, they'll put their despicable plan of emotional abuse into play, and their victims won't suspect a thing before it's too late. Signs of emotional mistreatment aren't always easy to pick up on, however, these types of partners do have a common modus operandi.

8 Reasons Why Malignant Narcissists Are So Dangerous

If the title of this article hasn’t totally scared you away, then you are no doubt wondering what this beast of a person is really like. Well, a malignant narcissist is a step up from a typical narcissist and adds an antisocial personality disorder to the already intimidating mixture. Combined, these two personality disorders represent the relentless need for control, admiration, and power for selfish reasons, making folks with this diagnosis that bit scarier than classic manipulators. Here’s why these people are so terrifying, and how you can get your own back on them.

What Are The Weaknesses Of A Narcissist?

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on.

Why Do Couples No Longer Fight To Save Their Relationships?

Seeing the number of couples who divorce or separate around us, a legitimate question arises and that is; do we fight less than previous generations to save our relationships? At the first sign of trouble, many of us seem willing to give up and move on to fresher pastures in the love department, that's right, we tend to believe that the grass is greener elsewhere. Is it because we were never truly head over heels for our partner? And, is it naïve to think that love can be everlasting?

I’m Nostalgic; But How Can I Stop Looking Back?

Whenever I have trouble sleeping, whenever I’m bored or whenever my thoughts wander, it’s not uncommon for me to find myself reliving my childhood vacations, or a delightful weekend in bed or even my wedding day. Sometimes I even shed a tear thinking about these moments in my past… Yes, I’m nostalgic, and I love revisiting memories, but that has to stop! Discover the steps to put in place if you want to live in the present!

10 Examples Of Text Messages A Narcissist Sends

Narcissists definitely move with the times, which is why many of them constantly troll dating sites for new victims. Chatting with a manipulator of this magnitude can be a rollercoaster experience, with dizzying heights that might lead you to believe you are in love, to gut-wrenching lows which will make you question your worth. For any raving narcissist, text message exchanges are a great way to reel in victims and follow through with their master plans for ultimate control over them. Are you texting someone you suspect to be a narcissist? The examples below could confirm your suspicions.

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of society’s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel lonely, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of this phenomenon, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack