Help! I'm Scared Of The Dark

Last updated by Katie M.

When night falls, if my nightlight isn’t working or if I have to go to the restroom alone in the middle of the night, I revert to the nervous little girl who imagines there’s danger lurking in the dark. In actual fact, apart from serious anxiety attacks, nothing has ever happened to me after dark, but I just can’t help it… To reduce my electricity bill and for the sake of the person trying to sleep next to me, I’m going to understand this fear of the dark in order to better overcome it!

Help! I'm Scared Of The Dark

Contents:

I’m afraid of the dark, how can I overcome my fear?

Going to bed will soon become a pleasure again…

I’m too old to believe in monsters

It’s hardly a scoop, the fear of the dark is common among children. An overactive imagination leads them to think that there is a horrible creature hiding under their bed. They may have also been told that if they’re not good, a monster will come at them out of the closet. 28 years later, I’m aware that I have to bring myself back to the present and reassure myself rationally. But the night terrors persist… Am I an eternal child? Or an adult who hasn’t learned to calm herself down because she didn’t gather the necessary weapons?

😱 This feeling of emptiness makes me anxious; this feeling of isolation makes me think that nobody will come to my rescue if something bad were to happen to me. I feel distressed, as if my survival instinct is forcing me to be scared of the dark for the rest of my life.

> Discover 7 tips to calm a panic attack

The dark is not known to be reassuring

Nobody watches a horror film at 3pm with the lights on – on the contrary! We deliberately immerse ourselves in darkness to create a gloomy atmosphere, in which we don’t see the potential dangers that could surprise us and make us vulnerable. The dark, represented by nighttime, is associated with danger. This fear is deeply rooted in all cultures that have been studied. Add to this the association of ideas that my subconscious records so well… No wonder I have this phobia. In my mind, just like in yours, criminals often act in the dark. Darkness is emptiness, and it appeals to the fear of death, this unknown state that frightens the human race…

➡ Darkness can also take me back to old traumas, as I’m alone and vulnerable and feel like I’m reliving an assault, a burglary or any other painful memory…


Did you know? You’re not alone!

Scared of the dark

According to a recent study of 2,000 people, 40 % admitted they were scared of walking alone in their homes at night. 10 % don’t even dare to get up to go to the restroom.


Using your other senses to tame the darkness

What is also frightening about the dark is the absence of points of reference. Unable to see, I don’t know what’s going on in my house. And if instead of running to the closest light switch, I just breathed calmly? What if I used my other senses to find my bearings and to reassure myself? It’s normal for my flat or house to make certain noises that don’t belong to an evil visitor. By concentrating on my hearing, for example, I can learn to recognize the creaking of the floorboards, the humming of the fridge or even the slamming of the shutters from close by and from a distance.

A suspicious noise always has a rational explanation. So, I can use these kinds of arguments to tame the darkness. Thanks to this type of exercise, I will gradually regain my confidence!

> Check out the 10 most unusual phobias


Note: Don’t feed the fear

Sleeping peacefully

Listening to your fear is ruling in its favor. Leaving a light on may be a relief, but it confirms the fact that the dark is dangerous.


Editor’s note: The fear of the dark isn’t insurmountable

Whether it’s deeply rooted or not, this fear can be desensitized. Many psychologists have studied the issue (the proof that this fear is common and is nothing to be ashamed of 😉). Here are some of their solutions:

➡ Luis Véra, psychotherapist, advises you tame the dark progressively
“Sit for a few minutes in relative darkness. Breathe and come to realize that nothing bad is happening to you. Repeat the exercise, increasing the length of time and the intensity of the darkness.”

➡ Paul Denis, psychoanalyst, invites us to fill our heads with nice images
“Read a book before going to sleep. This will occupy your mind and relax you. You can also think about your holiday plans: filling your head with positive images stops you from giving in to panic.”

➡ Béatrice Copper-Royer, psychologist, favors introspection
“Ask yourself, alone or with a therapist, have I ever had a scary night? What was bedtime like as a child? Tracing your fears allows you to alleviate them. Understanding where they come from allows you to treat them, alone or with a therapist.”

More interesting content for you to check out:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Emotional Blocks

I feel like I run into walls a lot in my life and even get them stuck in my head! However, even if I manage to pick myself back up, some of them seem insurmountable. Feeling paralyzed by a situation or an experience is called an emotional block. Many of us encounter them in our lives because of a negative experience. They prevent us from living life to the full, from having balance, and from being truly happy. So how do we get rid of them? The good news is that we can jump over these walls. Here’s how.

I’m Always Angry, Why? What’s Behind It?

The pressure builds up quickly, and then suddenly you’re telling them where to get off. Anger washes over us like a wave, an uncontrollable tidal wave. Even though it sounds impressive, it’s normal to feel angry. Everyone experiences it. But where it becomes problematic is when it’s constant and violent. Why might we feel angry all the time? What’s behind it? When everything’s getting on top of us, we need to go back to the roots of our anger to get rid of it and live more serenely.

Somniloquy: Why Do Some People Talk In Their Sleep?

“You know you told me your life story last night?” Of course, telling your partner what you’ve been up to is pretty cool. Except if you do it in your sleep… Some people can talk in their sleep! So if you live on your own, no problem, but if you sleep with someone, it immediately becomes more annoying. Why do we talk in our sleep? Is it something that can disturb our sleep? What can we do to stop it?

Why Do I Feel Like Stay Home All The Time?

I like being and staying at home. It’s almost unthinkable to say that, having lived through a year of the pandemic and lockdowns, yet I’m one of those who doesn’t get bored at home. And I confess, I’m sometimes reluctant to leave the house. Blasphemy! Being a home bird is often perceived badly, but I’m ok with it, and I’m not as anti-social as it seems…

What's The Point In Getting Married Nowadays?

Now there’s a good question! Personally, I’d never dreamed of getting married, but all of that changed rather recently. The princess dress, the veil, the first dance, all that seemed a bit overwhelming for me. And yet, do you know what? I’ve been married for just over 3 years now. So, why did I make a U-turn on my opinion towards this commitment? The answer is; purely because of love.

Is It Time For You To Change Jobs? Will This Make Your Life Better?

I’m 30 years old and I can’t imagine myself doing the same job my whole life. Sometimes I dream of simple things like working with flowers. I keep this idea in the back of my head; becoming a florist would one day be a great adventure! Because yes, changing jobs isn’t impossible! Sometimes we get bored of our everyday routine, we don’t identify with what we do anymore, we no longer like our job, etc. So many reasons can lead to a career change!

6 Differences Between Being Self-Centered And Being A Narcissist

When it comes to mental health disorders, the parameters of each condition often seem blurry, and this explains why many of us have trouble identifying them. Plus, certain disorders frequently encompass similar symptoms and traits, making recognizing and therefore understanding them even more complicated. Let’s take being selfish and having a narcissistic personality disorder, for example. Because they overlap on such a huge scale, upon first glance, they do in fact seem indistinguishable to many of us. That being said, when you dig a little deeper, the differences do become more and more apparent.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

10 Signs The Narcissist Discarding Phase Has Been Activated

The most important thing to understand when dealing with a narcissist is that their reign of terror won't last forever. Now, whilst their torment underway, it will no doubt be one of the most harrowing things you can mentally go through. However, when the abuser decides they've had enough of you, they'll halt their horrific abuse in a heartbeat and look for someone else. People with narcissistic personality disorders are constantly on the lookout for new prey and when they find someone who fills their criteria, they'll move into the discarding phase of their plan. After all, they aren't very eco-friendly, their motto is out with the old, in with the new!

8 Dangerous Mind Games That All Narcissists Play

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack