Psychology of Attraction: 7 Traits That Draw Us In

1 - Proximity

The first psychological factor that comes into play when we're attracted to someone is proximity 👀.

Indeed, studies by researchers Festinger, Schachter, and Back have shown that we have a strong tendency to develop romantic feelings for people we see regularly. For example, you might find yourself attracted to a coworker or that very sexy neighbor on the third floor 😏…

This phenomenon is explained by the "mere exposure effect," a psychological concept that suggests the more we are exposed to a stimulus (i.e., a person), the more we like it. This effect often works unconsciously, leading us to develop a preference for what is familiar 🤯.

Key takeaway

If you have a crush, it's a good idea to create more opportunities to see them in different contexts. The more repetition there is, the more likely they are to develop an attraction too… Not bad when you're wondering if someone likes you!

👋 You might find this article interesting: 15 Romantic quotes that will warm your heart

2 - Reciprocity

You know what? Attraction works both ways 😌! We are naturally attracted to people who show interest in us. When someone smiles at us, compliments us, or is genuinely interested in us, it flatters our ego and boosts our self-esteem. It's like a super aphrodisiac 👩‍❤️‍👨!

Let me tell you a bit about my life. A few years ago, I met a group of friends at a bar with my own friends. One of the guys in the group kept teasing me, and at first, I didn't realize he liked me. To be honest, I wasn't attracted to him. However, once I understood he was attracted to me, I fell for him too. So, reciprocity really works 😬!

3 - Mystery

I promise this isn't a cliché tip from a 2000s American series, even though it might sound like it 🤣! Mystery can really boost attraction because a person we can't fully figure out intrigues us a bit.

📌

This is what we call the "Zeigarnik effect": our brain tends to focus more on unfinished things than on those that are completed.

By keeping a bit of mystery, you pique the other person's curiosity and their desire to know more. That's the art of seduction: giving information little by little, creating tension. A good way to keep the flame alive is to maintain a bit of mystery 🔥!

4 - Humor

"A woman who laughs is halfway in bed!"

Okay, this saying is a bit sexist, we could also say "a man who laughs"! However, the idea is there because humor is an excellent way to attract someone. Making someone laugh creates an instant emotional connection, associating your presence with a pleasant and rewarding moment. Studies by Guéguen have shown that we unconsciously attribute many positive qualities to people who make us laugh: intelligence, creativity, sociability, kindness... Everything we're looking for in a potential partner 😍!

Plus, humor is a sign of complicity, it creates a sense of camaraderie. So, don't hesitate to bring out your best jokes to woo your crush!

5 - Self-confidence

I think it doesn't surprise anyone, but the biggest secret to attracting others is to have self-confidence. As Sternberg explains, when we're comfortable with ourselves, we can express our desires, our values, our limits, and that's very attractive.

This commands respect, admiration, and even a certain fascination, regardless of one's physical appearance! As Coco Chanel once said, "there is no beauty without self-confidence." So even if it's not something simple, we need to work on ourselves 🥴. It's true that a person who feels good is more attractive than someone who withdraws into themselves!

⚠️ However, I don't want this to be an injunction. Let's stop saying, "if you don't love yourself, no one will love you!".

Editorial opinion: Good mental health for fulfilling relationships

Our mental well-being is important in how we interact with others and in how we perceive ourselves. Taking care of your mental health also means giving yourself the means to be more fulfilled in your relationships. If you feel the need to better understand your emotions, your reactions, or simply to explore certain aspects of your personality more deeply, don't hesitate to consult a psychologist. This professional can help you navigate through your thoughts and feelings and develop strategies to boost your self-confidence and overall well-being.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... It's here and now!
#BornToBeMe

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I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

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Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

Only LoveBen Howard
4:08
Invalid date
Fix YouColdplay
4:55
Beautiful DayU2
4:08
Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
4:41
White FlagDido
4:00
Lay Me DownSam Smith
4:13
Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
3:17
Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
3:35
Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
4:24
Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
3:07
Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
4:37
Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
3:46
What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
2:17
With Or Without YouU2
4:56
HelloAdele
4:55
Don't Stop Me NowQueen
3:29
Skinny LoveBirdy
3:21
WingsBirdy
4:12
Californian SoilLondon Grammar
3:41