Making impossible requests
Rejection therapy is simple in concept: you make impossible requests, usually to strangers, to hear and face a firm “no” 😬.
📌 Some Examples A woman goes to Marks & Spencer to ask for a free dress from a sales assistant, a man asks a waitress at a café if he can call out orders for her, or someone else asks for $100 from a stranger… |
The idea is that by making these unusual requests, you deliberately expose yourself to rejection. Often, we see “no” as something very negative and demeaning, attaching a lot of heavy symbolism to it. By making impossible requests, you learn to get used to hearing “no” and to the feeling of exclusion, so you can better manage it 🧐.
Overcoming the fear of rejection
But who came up with this idea 🤔? It was Jason Comely, a Canadian who struggled with a fear of rejection. After a painful breakup, he realized that this fear was paralyzing him in every area of his life. So, he set himself a challenge: for 30 days, he would face rejection daily. Jason shared his experience on his blog 15 years ago, explaining that he emerged stronger and freer from the experience.
Recently, creators on TikTok have picked up on this idea, and it’s become a hit. Why 🤔? Because we all know the fear of rejection; it’s one of the 5 emotional wounds that every human being can experience.
Researchers Naomi Eisenberger and Matthew Lieberman have shown that when we feel socially excluded, the same areas of the brain are activated as when we experience physical pain. Yes, you read that right—rejection literally hurts 😣!
👋 Hey, we also have the right to say no: Learn to say no and assert yourself!
An exercise to break free
The fear of rejection is paralyzing and can even lead us to adopt negative or even toxic behaviors toward others. It prevents us from having healthy relationships, pursuing our dreams, seizing opportunities, and ultimately being ourselves 😣...
By deliberately and regularly exposing ourselves to rejection through rejection therapy, we gradually learn to manage it, to see it as an unpleasant but not insurmountable experience. We train our brains to stop reacting so strongly and to stop interpreting rejection as a threat to our survival—because, after all, a “no” has never killed anyone 🤷♀️.
Of course, it’s important to remember that this approach is not recognized as a formal therapy, but I wanted to talk about it because I think it’s important to demystify rejection and dare to take more risks. It’s inspiring, and honestly, it makes me want to step out of my comfort zone! How about you 🤗?
The Editorial Team’s Take: Rejection Is Not the End"Rejection therapy" reminds us that rejection is not the end, but a step toward resilience and self-confidence. By daring to step out of our comfort zones, we give ourselves the opportunity to grow and thrive. Let’s not forget that taking care of our mental health is essential. If the fear of rejection paralyzes you, or you feel the need for support, don’t hesitate to contact a psychologist.
🤗 Understanding, accepting, and thriving… It starts here and now!
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Source: Want to stop feeling hurt when someone says no? Take the rejection therapy challenge - The Guardian
