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The definition of erotomania
Falling in love with someone and being convinced that they love you when itās a famous person or a stranger youāve never interacted with is the very definition of erotomania. We can all have a crush and tell ourselves that thereās potential with someone weāve glimpsed from afar š . However, erotomania goes further than just a passing infatuation with our favorite celebrity or a handsome stranger.
Itās a real obsession for a targeted individual that characterizes a psychiatric illness. The consequences, both for the erotomaniac and the loved one, are not negligible. Indeed, the erotomaniac begins a form of stalking to extract confessions of mutual feelings š„. What makes you develop this obsessive disorder?
The causes of erotomania
Psychiatry canāt give a clear reason for erotomania. Itās a sexual disorder that may come about due to childhood neglect. The psychological impact of not being recognized by your parents as a child leads them to seek attention at all costs as an adult.
šØāš©āš§ The psychologist ValĆ©rie Grumelin explains that if we didnāt have a normal relationship with our parents (hugs, kisses), weāll interpret the slightest attention as physical and sexual desire. Furthermore, itās a defense mechanism to take refuge in an imaginary and fabricated relationship. This undoubtedly allows the erotomaniac to find a form of comfort and reliefā¦
The psychiatric disorders associated with erotomania
Erotomania can be a secondary disorder in people with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Itās the presence of symptoms of these other diseases that will determine whether erotomania is primary or secondary.
While this disease can be associated with other disorders, it is however the opposite of paranoia. The latter is the exaggerated distrust of others and the negative interpretation of the slightest word, whereas an erotomaniac will interpret everything positively, too positively, which will lead to dangerous behavior.
The behavior of an erotomaniac
The erotomaniac behavior comes about in 3 phases:
š The trigger: the erotomaniac will fall in love with a person and think that they are responsible for ātheirā love story.
š The hope: the erotomaniac will attempt to begin communication for a romantic exchange. Without an answer, the sufferer will find any pretext (a secret love story).
š The grudge: the erotomaniac will understand that the love isnāt reciprocated and will feel a deep sense of deception and will have a desire for revenge.
š Being convinced that youāre loved by someone else leads to stalking, i.e. to very intrusive behavior that is repeated. This is characterized by spying on social media and even at the personās home, when the sufferer has this information. Itās a violation of privacy, as the erotomaniac wants to have a gesture of love. During the grudge phase, the erotomaniac may become depressed and display signs of aggression as a result of being confronted with the rejection of the object of their obsession. |
How to react to an erotomaniac?
People who are the object of this obsessive love usually have higher social or professional functions šØāš«: a writer, a singer, a doctor, a teacher, an actor, etc. However, you can also be at the centre of an erotomaniacās obsession by being nice to them and showing them insignificant attention.
ā ļø This sexual disorder is obviously risky for the person at the center of the obsession. You shouldnāt confront the erotomaniac alone, as theyāre unaware that they have a psychiatric disorder. The best thing is to approach the relevant authorities and the courts to control the potentially violent outbursts. The person should be taken into psychiatric care.
Test for erotomania and treatment
Psychiatrists donāt test for erotomania, they need to make a diagnosis. Itās not difficult to do this as the patient shows signs that donāt lie. Thereās often mythomania with the creation of an imaginary world, of which the patient is unaware. Moreover, the erotomaniac will obviously talk obsessively about the person at the center of their attention.
š There must be real psychiatric care to give medicalized treatment to the erotomaniac. Furthermore, psychological monitoring is put in place in order to work on self-esteem by analyzing the patientās past to understand the origins of this obsessive behavior.
Editorās note: Victims in distressAs you can see, erotomania is a psychiatric pathology. If youāre a victim of it, remember that youāre not to blame and thereās little you can do except hope that the person gets better. There are treatments, but itās difficult to talk about a total cure. Donāt hesitate to contact a psychologist. š¤ Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... Itās here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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