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The definition of erotomania
Falling in love with someone and being convinced that they love you when itâs a famous person or a stranger youâve never interacted with is the very definition of erotomania. We can all have a crush and tell ourselves that thereâs potential with someone weâve glimpsed from afar đ . However, erotomania goes further than just a passing infatuation with our favorite celebrity or a handsome stranger.
Itâs a real obsession for a targeted individual that characterizes a psychiatric illness. The consequences, both for the erotomaniac and the loved one, are not negligible. Indeed, the erotomaniac begins a form of stalking to extract confessions of mutual feelings đ„. What makes you develop this obsessive disorder?
The causes of erotomania
Psychiatry canât give a clear reason for erotomania. Itâs a sexual disorder that may come about due to childhood neglect. The psychological impact of not being recognized by your parents as a child leads them to seek attention at all costs as an adult.
đšâđ©âđ§ The psychologist ValĂ©rie Grumelin explains that if we didnât have a normal relationship with our parents (hugs, kisses), weâll interpret the slightest attention as physical and sexual desire. Furthermore, itâs a defense mechanism to take refuge in an imaginary and fabricated relationship. This undoubtedly allows the erotomaniac to find a form of comfort and reliefâŠ
The psychiatric disorders associated with erotomania
Erotomania can be a secondary disorder in people with schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Itâs the presence of symptoms of these other diseases that will determine whether erotomania is primary or secondary.
While this disease can be associated with other disorders, it is however the opposite of paranoia. The latter is the exaggerated distrust of others and the negative interpretation of the slightest word, whereas an erotomaniac will interpret everything positively, too positively, which will lead to dangerous behavior.
The behavior of an erotomaniac
The erotomaniac behavior comes about in 3 phases:
đ The trigger: the erotomaniac will fall in love with a person and think that they are responsible for âtheirâ love story.
đ The hope: the erotomaniac will attempt to begin communication for a romantic exchange. Without an answer, the sufferer will find any pretext (a secret love story).
đ The grudge: the erotomaniac will understand that the love isnât reciprocated and will feel a deep sense of deception and will have a desire for revenge.
đ Being convinced that youâre loved by someone else leads to stalking, i.e. to very intrusive behavior that is repeated. This is characterized by spying on social media and even at the personâs home, when the sufferer has this information. Itâs a violation of privacy, as the erotomaniac wants to have a gesture of love. During the grudge phase, the erotomaniac may become depressed and display signs of aggression as a result of being confronted with the rejection of the object of their obsession. |
How to react to an erotomaniac?
People who are the object of this obsessive love usually have higher social or professional functions đšâđ«: a writer, a singer, a doctor, a teacher, an actor, etc. However, you can also be at the centre of an erotomaniacâs obsession by being nice to them and showing them insignificant attention.
â ïž This sexual disorder is obviously risky for the person at the center of the obsession. You shouldnât confront the erotomaniac alone, as theyâre unaware that they have a psychiatric disorder. The best thing is to approach the relevant authorities and the courts to control the potentially violent outbursts. The person should be taken into psychiatric care.
Test for erotomania and treatment
Psychiatrists donât test for erotomania, they need to make a diagnosis. Itâs not difficult to do this as the patient shows signs that donât lie. Thereâs often mythomania with the creation of an imaginary world, of which the patient is unaware. Moreover, the erotomaniac will obviously talk obsessively about the person at the center of their attention.
đ There must be real psychiatric care to give medicalized treatment to the erotomaniac. Furthermore, psychological monitoring is put in place in order to work on self-esteem by analyzing the patientâs past to understand the origins of this obsessive behavior.
Editorâs note: Victims in distressAs you can see, erotomania is a psychiatric pathology. If youâre a victim of it, remember that youâre not to blame and thereâs little you can do except hope that the person gets better. There are treatments, but itâs difficult to talk about a total cure. Donât hesitate to contact a psychologist. đ€ Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... Itâs here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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