Resentment, A Little Something Stuck In Your Throat? 😏

Last updated by Katie M.

I think we’ve all experienced resentment at some point. When someone hurts us, it leaves a bitter taste in our mouths, and we can’t get past this feeling. For some people, it even gives rise to a desire for revenge for several months or even years. However, having a little something stuck in your throat isn’t good for you. Why? What are the consequences of resentment? How can we move on?

Contents: 

What is resentment?

Resentment is clearly a negative emotion that can turn us into a toxic person, as it consumes us little by little 😣. It corresponds to a feeling of anger and revolt that we keep after an injustice we’ve experienced. In this case, it’s impossible to turn the page and forgive, the only thing driving us is revenge. Usually it disappears when we feel that the damage has been repaired ✅.

The difference between a grudge and resentment

We often don’t realize the difference between a grudge and resentment. They have a common origin, as they are both feelings of dislike after we’ve been ridiculed. There is nevertheless a small distinction to be made:

👉 Being resentful: it corresponds to a tenacious feeling of bitterness after experiencing an injustice.

👉 Holding a grudge: beyond the feeling, it’s a behavior of animosity that’s born with a desire for revenge that we have for someone.

You hold a grudge against someone and feel resentment. The idea is the same, but the word is used differently. In any case, feeling such an emotion can have consequences on your body and mind…

Why isn’t resentment good?

I’ve felt resentment at times, but it hasn’t set in so much as to turn me into holding a grudge. I’m relieved to have escaped from it, because it exposes you to more suffering. We don’t live in the present moment, as we’re stuck in the past. Instead of moving on, we dwell on the feeling of anger for a long time… It’s impossible to feel good when there are so many negative things going on inside us 😥!

The consequences of resentment

It’s clear that feeling so much negativity has consequences on our minds. It can lead to an anxiety disorder and a loss of self-confidence. However, there are also physical consequences, as resentment can take up so much space inside us. It can also affect our social relationships… Here is a list of the consequences that this negative feeling can have 👎:

  • Aggression and irritability;
  • Headaches;
  • Increased levels of cortisol (the stress hormone);
  • Crying spells or anxiety attacks;
  • Psychosomatic disorders: stomach pains, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, etc.;
  • Social isolation and withdrawal;
  • Sleep disorder;
  • Vulnerability of the immune system.

How to get rid of resentment?

Getting rid of such resentment can take time. Nonetheless, at some point, you need to learn to let go to move forward. There are different stages to this:

We need to acknowledge that we have a problem

Not in the sense that we’re dysfunctional, resentment is a natural feeling that everyone has experienced at some point. However, when we’re unable to get past the anger, or even rage, and revenge is what drives us, it is hiding a deeper problem 😡. Acknowledging that something is wrong is the first step to understanding what is hidden behind it all.

We need to express what we feel

It’s the sinews of war because if we express our emotions spontaneously, resentment won’t set in. Yes, being able to say out loud what’s going on inside us allows us to get rid of the negativity. Acting as if nothing happened and suffering in silence while brooding isn’t a solution. If someone has hurt us, it’s normal to tell them, and they will learn to correct their behavior. The solution is in the expression of emotions!

😳 And if the other person is offended? Normally, they should ask for forgiveness for having insulted our feelings. However, not everyone is kind enough to do this. In this case, it’s better that the person who hurt us gets out of our lives!

We need to learn to forgive

When the person who offended us apologizes, we need to be able to accept it. Learning to forgive is necessary to move on. Be careful, it doesn’t mean that we forget what they did! We accept their mistake and go above our anger. It’s a very noble feeling that can be enriching.

😌 By forgiving, we work on letting go and put things into perspective. We’re therefore mentally freer, which results in a better life!

We agree to get help

It’s already good to be able to express our emotions to someone who’s not involved in what provoked the resentment. However, it’s even better to talk about it to a professional if we continue to hold a grudge. Thanks to psychological support, we can learn to get rid of a negative emotion like resentment. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is one of the most suitable ways to reprogram our thoughts and feelings 💭.

Editor’s note: Identify your emotions!

As you’ve seen, you shouldn’t let this feeling of resentment set in, whatever the cause. You should absolutely put your resentment and emotions into words. They’re not always easy to identify, it’s sometimes difficult to know what’s going on inside us, why, how... 👉 That’s where the psychologist comes into play. As the sessions progress, you’ll see your resentment go away in order to live more serenely. Don’t let it consume you. The person who hurt you certainly doesn’t deserve it...

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Who Are We?

Want to know who's behind Wengood? A team of passionate people in search of wellness. Here, we share with you our stories, our trials and tribulations and our advice to help you move forward on the path towards serenity.

Lauren Hart - Editor

I have always loved to write, since the dawn of the Internet. For as long as I can remember, I have been blogging about my life, sorrow, and joys.

How To Make New Friends

Remember in middle school when you got close to that girl with pigtails, asked her if she wanted to be your best friend, and the next thing you know, you became BFFs? What a sweet moment that was, but, if only things remained that easy 30 years later. As an adult, it’s so much more difficult to make new friends, and often find it impossible to find the courage needed to approach people. If you want to expand your social circle, we have 6 pieces of advice to help you along the way!

Why Do I Always Feel Guilty?

Are you the type of person who constantly feels the need to apologize without having done anything wrong? Would you for example feel bad about being late to a meeting if your car broke down on the way? Do things that are totally out of your control make you feel terrible about yourself? We all perceive guilt differently, and some of us are far more susceptible to feeling culpable than others. We reveal where this tendency comes from and what you can do to learn to shake it off. It's time you freed yourself from these self-imposed shackles of guilt!

10 Secrets To Successful Relationships

Stories of couples who spend their whole lives together seem like distant fairy tales nowadays. With the rise of dating apps and a shift in the idea of what constitutes a traditional relationship; the word long-term almost sounds foreign to many of us. Being in love isn't always simple, but when it works out, it's worth all the hard work. Being the romantic souls that we are, we wanted to share with you the recipe for a long-lasting and harmonious relationship. After all, who doesn't want to experience what their grandparents did? Discover the best tips for a happy and healthy love story.

Are You Scared Of Success?

Amid the fear of failing hides another fear that is less often spoken about, and that's the fear of succeeding. Doing well isn’t necessarily the key to happiness, that’s why there may be times when we fear it. Although it might seem strange, when we start to achieve our personal goals, we open ourselves up to a wave of new emotions that aren't exactly always easy to deal with. When we are caught off guard by our results, we often go into panic mode and struggle with this concept, however that's not to say we should let this hold us back.

Self-Love Checklist

Life can be a bit of a rollercoaster, and whilst I'm sure we'd all agree that at times we are lucky enough to experience dizzying highs, at other points, we all go through gut-wrenching lows that really do bring us crashing down. Feeling good about ourselves 365 days a year is certainly a big ask, but it's definitely not impossible, and I'm proof of that! Psst, lean in, I want to let you into a secret! Whenever I'm feeling down or when my anxiety spins out of control, I take a look at my self-love checklist for inspiration and decide that it's time to make myself feel better about things.

Teaching Men To Be More Emotionally Honest

As a self-confessed emotional sponge and anxiety sufferer, I've always found men's unwillingness to deal with their emotions surprising. I've always had a turbulent relationship with my emotions, however, over the years, I've learned that introspection and honesty have helped me to deal with them effectively. Men, on the other hand, typically have a tougher time opening up and taking the time to understand what they feel, but although it may seem difficult, acknowledging their fears, anxieties, and dreams will catapult them to the ultimate stage of happiness.

Can We Fall In Love Without Seeing The Person?

If you had asked me this question a few years ago, I would have said hell no, but recently and thanks to recent discoveries, my opinion has done a whole 180°. Nowadays, there are a variety of ways for us to find our soulmate without actually even seeing them; we can fall in love online, we can meet someone on dating sites, or, alternatively, we can sign up to Netflix's hottest dating show; 'Love Is Blind'. Now, if you haven't yet binge-watched this rollercoaster series, and are in need of a little romance in your life, you know exactly what to do.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack