Friendzone: Right at the heart of it?
What is the friendzone?
I think we’ve all been in this situation: you get close to someone, you see them regularly and for the moment, it’s friendly. However, you feel an attraction that goes far beyond friendship! Yet, you don’t know if the person opposite you feels the same way… This is one of the configurations of the friendzone. Nevertheless, the other person may be aware of our feelings but doesn’t want to take things further. This is also being friendzoned! When romantic feelings aren’t reciprocated, it’s a way of gently pushing someone away.
Signs of the friendzone
This grey area isn’t easy to manage but you must be aware of the other person’s behavior to know if you’re in the friendzone. Here are a few little things that can give you a clue that the person just isn’t interested in you:
- They tell you about their conquests or crushes (attractions to other people),
- They’re interested in your romantic relationships,
- They try to find you someone,
- There are no gestures that create physical contact (e.g., face touching),
- There’s no long-lasting eye contact,
- They don’t try to see you too often,
- They change the subject if you imply anything,
🕵️ You have to be really aware of the other person to be able to decipher their behavior and understand whether they are attracted to you. But there’s always a way to get out of the friendzone and to avoid it completely.
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How to avoid the friendzone?
Getting out of the friendzone
Love coaches have some advice on how to get out of the friendzone when you don’t know if the attraction is mutual. It’s important to underline that you have to change your behavior when you don’t know if the other person likes you yet.
Here is what the experts advise you to do:
- Put yourself in a situation of seduction and no longer as a good friend,
- Tell your mutual friends that you’re attracted to this person so they see you differently,
- Make some changes to your look,
- Don’t make yourself available all the time,
- Don’t tell them everything that’s happening in your life to keep an air of mystery.
Defusing the situation by admitting your feelings
It’s not easy but it’s the best way to get out of the friendzone when you don’t know if the person opposite you is attracted to you. Indeed, expressing your feelings is the healthiest way to get out of the friendzone. And above all, it stops you from being under the influence of a narcissistic pervert who uses you to boost their ego. Because if the person says they’re not interested, that’s how you can move on. However, if they send mixed signals and say yes and then no, that’s a very bad sign.
💔 If the answer is no, you need to be able to distance yourself from the person in order either to move on or get away from a toxic person.
Accepting the friendzone
Once you’ve expressed your feelings, what you need to do is also work on yourself. Indeed, some people find it “unfair” that the other person doesn’t respond positively to their feelings and prefers to remain friends. However, it’s not up to them to force themselves because a no means no. You have to accept this friendship as long as it’s not toxic for you. But if you suffer too much from this rejection, you must distance yourself in order to move on. Once that’s done, you’ll be much more able to accept the friendship with them.
They’re not responsible for your feelings
Always keep in mind that the other person isn’t responsible for what you feel. If they’re not a manipulator, you must accept that not everybody can be attracted to you. Moreover, women are often accused of putting men in the friendzone. But we’re no strangers to the friendzone either! Women don’t owe men anything. It’s necessary and important to remember that there’s no such thing as sexual poverty and women don’t have to bow down to men’s desires.
➜ Being “rejected” can lower our self-confidence. Indeed, being in the friendzone can be a source of suffering for some people. That’s why it’s important to talk to a professional about it to regain confidence and get a boost again!
Editor’s note: Offering friendship to someone who wants love is like giving bread to someone who’s dying of thirst
Getting friendship when you’re expecting love can be very painful. Even more so when you see this person often, or very often even, because you’re “friends”. Continuing to maintain this unbalanced relationship is dangerous and can cause you suffering for a long time. In this case, it’s better to distance yourself or contact a professional to discuss the situation together and to find solutions.
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