6 tips for breaking the routine in a relationship
It would be too silly to break up because of weariness 😥. As much as breaking up is necessary when you’ve gone in radically different directions or if you’re with a toxic person, it’s also possible to change things when it’s just routine. Love, like everything else, needs to be nurtured 🤗. No one can rest on their laurels, telling themselves the other person’s a given. Even if you decide to be in an open relationship, that doesn’t mean you can’t make an effort. Here’s how.
1 - Let go and improvise
It’s OK to like routine when you’re in a relationship, there are some things that are reassuring. But you shouldn’t plan everything in advance, and you should also be able to allow yourself moments of spontaneity. As such, you get away from the daily routine and shake up your habits a little. So yes, sometimes change can be scary, but sometimes it can also breathe new life into the relationship 🌬️.
Personally, well with my partner, we love going on weekend getaways. To do this, we bought a minivan, allowing us to get away as soon as we feel that everyday life is too much of a burden. Of course, it’s up to each of us to find our own way of improvising, but it could be an idea!
2 - Spice up your sex life
When you think relationships, you think of sex. There’s no question of putting pressure on yourself to perform sexually 😫. It doesn’t matter how often you do it, but it’s important to keep the desire alive and enjoy it. A bit like eating the same dish every day of your life, you end up getting bored or even disgusted by doing the same thing over and over again. So don’t hesitate to explore new ways of doing things, making love in unusual places, trying out new games, and so on. Spicing up your sex life is a good way to learn to love yourself again and see yourself differently.
👋 If you’d like more advice on how to stop the pressure of having a crazy sex life!
3 - Create surprises
As well as breaking the routine by planning things together, don’t hesitate to create mini surprises every day. Not all the time, of course, or else you’re in trouble! It’s all part of a new habit, but small gestures are always nice.
To create a successful surprise, I rely on what my partner likes. From time to time, I prepare (or order) his favorite dish. Sometimes I go to a flea market and come across a film camera and I buy it for him (he loves that). Sometimes I just go to his office to give him a huge hug, I know that’s one of the love languages that particularly moves him... In short, I dig deep to create little surprises for him, and he does the same for me 🥰!
👋 You might be interested in this article: How to say 'I love you' without actually saying it.
4 – Create longing
Quite often, when you’re in a relationship, you live together (if you don’t, it means you have the privilege of being rich). As a result, you spend a lot of time together, sleeping together, eating together, visiting family together, basically, there are few moments when you’re on your own.
Nevertheless, it’s important to be separate from time to time so that you can get back together again. In fact, it creates a sense of longing and rekindles desire. A desire that’s not necessarily sexual (although that plays a part too 😬), just the desire to see the other person again and to have their presence next to us.
👉 We don’t hesitate to visit our families separately, especially when they live far away. So from time to time we do it together, but we also like to create those moments of longing.
5 - Have a project together
Having a project as a couple cements your relationship. It’s something that unites you and challenges you, so it’s important to have one. It could be buying a house, adopting a pet, a big trip, a sporting challenge... Anyway, there’s no shortage of ideas, you just need to listen to your deepest desires!
I mentioned our minivan earlier. It’s been one of our big projects for a long time, and it still is, because we want to improve it. We’ve got other things in mind too, but in any case it’s something that drives us and motivates us. Of course, we’re always careful to remain friendly and not to turn the project into a source of tension.
👋 You might be interested in this article: Why do couples no longer fight to save their relationships?
6 - Don’t forget yourself
Finally, it’s important to remember that you’re a person in your own right and that you shouldn’t define yourself solely through your relationship. It shouldn’t be your identity.
So to avoid forgetting yourself, you need to keep your passions, practice them and see your friends without your other half (which also goes back to point no. 4, it creates longing 😉). It’s important to take time for yourself and not be emotionally dependent. A couple is two people who love each other, not an entity that erases the individual that you are!
👉 We love being together, but we also love being alone. It allows us to reconnect with the person we really are, and that’s so essential if we’re not to forget ourselves in a relationship!
Editor’s note: Talk about it!
Depending on each person’s personality, routine can be perceived differently. Those who are anxious, and need stability will find it reassuring and calming, and they’ll find a certain security. Others will find it simply unbearable and paralyzing. It’s all a matter of how you see things, but the important thing is that everyone finds something to like about it. Why not talk about it together? Clear, honest communication will calm your relationship. Express your emotions and desires, and listen carefully to what the other person says. If you’re experiencing difficulties in your relationship, don’t hesitate to make an appointment with a psychologist.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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