My Sister Is Jealous Of Me; How Should I Deal With This?

Last updated by Katie M.

“In any case, you’re the favorite.” I’ve heard this phrase coming from my sister’s mouth over and over again. For a long time, her jealousy spoiled our lives, but I only wanted one thing: for us to be close and united. She poured her resentment in my face for many years until it got out of control. I couldn’t stand feeling so much anger and guilt at the same time. Soothing 30 years of jealousy hasn’t been easy, but there are ways to avoid getting to that point. I didn’t want jealousy to cut me off from my sister!

My Sister Is Jealous Of Me; How Should I Deal With This?

First off, what are the signs my sister is jealous of me? - 2 Signs

1) Your sister is jealous if she constantly belittles you 😂

Does your sister persistently target you and humiliate you in front of others? If so, look no further, because she is no doubt harboring pathological jealousy towards you. Another aspect of jealousy is to criticize and tarnish your reputation. In this case, your sister won't hesitate to speak ill of you when you're not around. If you look closely, jealous individuals are hypocrites. They spread lots of false information about you to discredit you in the eyes of others. However, in your presence, they act as if nothing is wrong. That's why you need to learn to handle the criticism directed at you by focusing on your self-worth and staying confident in who you are.

2) Your sister compares herself to you constantly 🏆

An envious sister will spend the majority of her time comparing herself to you. Her goal is to prove to others, to you, and to herself that she is better than you. You will notice that she seizes every possible opportunity to try to convince others that she does certain things better than you. Paradoxically, whatever you do, she'll replicate it. For example, if you wear new shoes, she'll buy the same ones. In short, she'll copy and imitate you in almost everything with the intention of outshining you. Recognizing this behavior is the first step to addressing it effectively.

7 Signs your sister is jealous of your looks

Jealousy can manifest in various subtle and overt ways, especially in sibling relationships. If your sister is jealous of your looks, you might notice several telling behaviors:

  • 1) Backhanded compliments: She may give you compliments that have a negative twist, such as "You look great for someone who doesn't work out" or "That dress makes you look slimmer."
  • 2) Criticism and put-downs: Your sister might frequently criticize your appearance or make derogatory remarks about your looks. This can include pointing out flaws or making negative comments about your style.
  • 3) Comparisons: She may often compare herself to you, either directly or indirectly, highlighting how she looks different or suggesting ways in which she believes she is superior.
  • 4) Undermining your confidence: She could attempt to undermine your self-esteem by questioning your choices in fashion, makeup, or grooming, making you second-guess your appearance.
  • 5) Dismissive attitude: Your sister might downplay your achievements or successes related to your looks, such as dismissing compliments you receive or ignoring your efforts to look good.
  • 6) Competitive behavior: She may become overly competitive about appearance-related issues, trying to outshine you at family gatherings, social events, or on social media.
  • 7) Gossiping: Your sister might gossip about your appearance to others, spreading rumors or making negative comments behind your back in an attempt to diminish your attractiveness in the eyes of others.

How do you deal with your sister’s jealousy?

1. Re-establish dialogue

It’s not easy to approach someone when there is a lot of resentment, but taking the first step is crucial. Try to re-establish dialogue by initiating a calm and open conversation with your sister. Discuss your relationship and the underlying issues behind her jealousy. This should be done outside of moments of conflict, in a neutral setting, to ensure a productive discussion.

2. Verbalize the suffering

It’s important to express how her jealousy has impacted you. Share your feelings and explain how her actions have affected your relationship. At the same time, give your sister the chance to express her own feelings. Jealousy often stems from unresolved pain or insecurity, and addressing these emotions can help both of you move forward.

3. Listen to each other

Listening is an essential part of resolving conflict. Even if your sister brings up past grievances or criticizes you, try to remain calm and hear her out. By acknowledging her perspective, you can better understand her struggles and work toward a resolution.

4. Be forgiving

Holding on to resentment will only prolong the tension in your relationship. Forgiveness is key to moving forward. Let go of past hurts and focus on rebuilding your bond. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning her behavior—it means freeing yourself from the burden of anger and resentment.

5. Do activities together

Reconnecting through shared activities can help strengthen your relationship. Plan regular outings or activities that you both enjoy, such as going to the movies, hiking, or cooking together. Spending quality time together outside the family circle can help you rebuild trust and create positive memories.

How do you fix a jealous sibling?: The solution lies in therapy

Sometimes, jealousy and resentment run too deep to resolve on your own. In such cases, seeking the help of a professional family therapist can be incredibly beneficial. Therapy provides a safe space to explore the root causes of jealousy and work through unresolved issues. A therapist can help both of you understand each other’s perspectives and develop healthier ways to communicate and interact.

For my sister and me, therapy was a turning point. After several months of sessions, we were able to transform jealousy into mutual admiration and support. Our relationship improved significantly, and it’s been a relief to finally enjoy a positive and supportive bond with my sister after years of conflict.

Why do sisters get jealous of each other?

Sibling jealousy often stems from feelings of insecurity, competition, or perceived favoritism by parents. It can also be influenced by societal pressures, such as comparisons of appearance, success, or relationships. Understanding the root causes of jealousy can help you approach the issue with empathy and work toward a healthier relationship.

Final thoughts

Dealing with a jealous sister can be challenging, but it’s not impossible to mend your relationship. By addressing the underlying issues, practicing forgiveness, and seeking professional help if needed, you can work toward a healthier and more supportive bond. Remember, jealousy often stems from pain or insecurity, and approaching the situation with empathy and patience can make all the difference.

Editor’s note: Try to understand your sister – How did she get to this point?

If your sister is jealous and if she feels that you have always been the one better off, there must be a reason. If she says that your parents didn’t treat you in the same way, it’s probably true. At least that’s her truth. Perhaps your parents weren’t the same when she was born, perhaps they weren’t ready to become parents? There is very old anger and suffering. Start by listening to her and asking her to put her feelings into words clearly.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

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What if your jealous sister refuse to go therapy.

Sheryl Rousseau, 4 years ago

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