My Sister Is Jealous Of Me; How Should I Deal With This?

Last updated by Katie M.

“In any case, you’re the favorite.” I’ve heard this phrase coming from my sister’s mouth over and over again. For a long time, her jealousy spoiled our lives, but I only wanted one thing: for us to be close and united. She poured her resentment in my face for many years until it got out of control. I couldn’t stand feeling so much anger and guilt at the same time. Soothing 30 years of jealousy hasn’t been easy, but there are ways to avoid getting to that point. I didn’t want jealousy to cut me off from my sister!

My Sister Is Jealous Of Me; How Should I Deal With This?

First off, what are the signs my sister is jealous of me? - 2 Signs

1) Your sister is jealous if she constantly belittles you 😂

Does your sister persistently target you and humiliate you in front of others? If so, look no further, because she is no doubt harboring pathological jealousy towards you. Another aspect of jealousy is to criticize and tarnish your reputation. In this case, your sister won't hesitate to speak ill of you when you're not around. If you look closely, jealous individuals are hypocrites. They spread lots of false information about you to discredit you in the eyes of others. However, in your presence, they act as if nothing is wrong. That's why you need to learn to handle the criticism directed at you.

2) Your sister compares herself to you constantly 🏆

An envious sister will the majority of her time comparing herself to you. Her goal is to prove to others, to you, and to herself that she is better than you. You will notice that she seizes every possible opportunity to try to convince others that she does certain things better than you. Paradoxically, whatever you do, she'll replicate it. For example, if you wear new shoes, she'll buy the same ones. In short, she'll copy and imitate you in almost everything with the intention of outshining you.

7 Signs your sister is jealous of your looks

Jealousy can manifest in various subtle and overt ways, especially in sibling relationships. If your sister is jealous of your looks, you might notice several telling behaviors:

  • 1) Backhanded compliments: She may give you compliments that have a negative twist, such as "You look great for someone who doesn't work out" or "That dress makes you look slimmer."
  • 2) Criticism and put-downs: Your sister might frequently criticize your appearance or make derogatory remarks about your looks. This can include pointing out flaws or making negative comments about your style.
  • 3) Comparisons: She may often compare herself to you, either directly or indirectly, highlighting how she looks different or suggesting ways in which she believes she is superior.
  • 4) Undermining your confidence: She could attempt to undermine your self-esteem by questioning your choices in fashion, makeup, or grooming, making you second-guess your appearance.
  • 5) Dismissive attitude: Your sister might downplay your achievements or successes related to your looks, such as dismissing compliments you receive or ignoring your efforts to look good.
  • 6) Competitive behavior: She may become overly competitive about appearance-related issues, trying to outshine you at family gatherings, social events, or on social media.
  • 7) Gossiping: Your sister might gossip about your appearance to others, spreading rumors or making negative comments behind your back in an attempt to diminish your attractiveness in the eyes of others.

 ⬇️ FAQ: What causes jealousy in sisters? 

We all agree that there’s no such thing as perfect parents. But they can have an impact on the relationship we have with our sister. If one child is encouraged or praised more, the consequences are harmful for the rest of the sibling group. Personally, I don’t feel like we were treated differently by our parents. But lack of self-confidence can also lead to jealousy, and this becomes more pronounced when we reach adolescence. That’s why my sister’s jealousy has continued to increase since we were children. The fear of abandonment can also create a feeling of jealousy. This fear also manifests itself in childhood! So, there are several possible reasons for a sister’s jealousy. The challenge is to understand, in order to relieve the tension and rediscover a calm relationship.

>>> Learn how to effectively punish your children

How do you deal with your sister’s jealousy?

1. Re-establish dialogue

It’s not easy to go to the other person when there is sometimes a lot of resentment. But you must take the first step to re-establish a dialogue in order to understand the origins of your sister’s jealousy. It’s something that should be done outside of times of conflict. You can suggest a calm discussion with your sister about your relationship in order to get everything back on track.

2. Verbalize the suffering

It’s important to express your suffering. Explain how her jealousy ruins your life and that you’d like to have a healthy relationship with her. But your sister must also have the opportunity to express herself. Because if there’s jealousy in a relationship, it’s because there is suffering somewhere that hasn’t been healed.

3. Listen to each other

It’s hard not to answer back when your sister criticizes you! Especially for things that happened 20 years ago or for little details that seem insignificant to you. But you must listen to her to be able to accept her problems as best you can in order to move forward in the dialogue.

>>> Discover the tips on how to deal with a narcissistic mother in law

4. Be forgiving

I was angry for a long time about things she said to me. But eventually you realize that there’s no point in holding on to all these negative feelings inside you. So, to be able to move forward, you have to forgive. The longer you hold on to your resentment, the less the relationship will calm down.

5. Do activities together

As well as the dialogue, you need to be able to reconnect with each other. My sister and I have set up a day per month when we get together, just the two of us, to do an activity that we like. Reconnecting outside the family circle is important to start afresh and not be influenced by the words or behavior of other family members, such as our parents.

How do you fix a jealous sibling?: The solution lies in therapy

Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to talk to their sister calmly. In order to settle old grudges, you can seek the help of a professional specialized in family therapy. The therapist will be able to understand the deep roots of the jealousy and will work on the cause. There are many avenues to explore, and it may take some time to unblock them all.

This is what we chose to do with my sister, even though our relationship wasn’t exactly catastrophic. After several months of therapy, I feel that the jealousy has turned into admiration and support, which is a real relief for me. Our relationship has considerably improved since we got everything off our chests. And what a pleasure it is to finally have a sister after years of jealousy and arguments!

Editor’s note: Try to understand your sister – How did she get to this point?

If your sister is jealous and if she feels that you have always been the one better off, there must be a reason. If she says that your parents didn’t treat you in the same way, it’s probably true. At least that’s her truth. Perhaps your parents weren’t the same when she was born, perhaps they weren’t ready to become parents? There is very old anger and suffering. Start by listening to her and asking her to put her feelings into words clearly.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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