The Temperamental Type: Recognizing Them And Understanding Their Origin

Last updated by Lauren Hart

I’ve never described myself as temperamental. But I’ve never had a problem associating that word with my father. As I get older, I’m afraid of becoming like him, so will I adopt the same behavior as him? In fact, how can we define a temperamental person? How can we recognize one? What are their origins? So many questions that I asked myself and for which I found my answers that I’ll share with you. Let’s explain.

The Temperamental Type: Recognizing Them And Understanding Their Origin

What does temperamental mean?

“Temperamental – someone who suffers from a behavioral, personality disorder, making it difficult to adapt to their environment.”

This is the definition in the dictionary, but it’s rather vague. More concretely, we say that someone who’s temperamental has a bad temper and that they curse without paying attention to others. So it means that they have a hot-headed and moody side: one moment everything’s fine 😌 and the next an inner anger rises and everything’s bad 😡. Incessant grumbling arises, to the point of exhausting those around them. That’s why I defined my dad as such, he’s a grouch at heart 😅. But where does that come from?

A pattern that repeats itself

Through my research, I discovered that this is a defense mechanism that originates in childhood, as psychologist Patrick Estrade explains. The child is confronted with parental dissatisfaction and reproduces this behavior. They will therefore complain and lose their temper easily, because they haven’t learned how to manage their emotions. Yes, that’s the problem with temperamental people: they don’t know how to deal with their feelings and tend to explode, even if it means creating damage around them 💥!

📌
It’s not only the parental environment during childhood that can lead to this behavioral disorder. According to the therapist, a lack of self-esteem, a generalized anxiety disorder or even depression can contribute to a temperamental personality.

How to recognize a temperamental person?

As this comes from childhood, does it mean that I’m a temperamental person like my father? To check, I did a test according to the descriptions associated with this profile.

👉 I’m temperamental if:

  • ✅ I complain regularly,
  • ✅ Even a minor annoyance can ruin my day,
  • ✅ I have intense and exaggerated, even inappropriate reactions,
  • ✅ I’m selfish and pour out my feelings on others,
  • ✅ I often feel negative emotions like anger,
  • ✅ I never take a step back from my behavior,
  • ✅ I never apologize.

Yes, it’s not easy to answer “yes” to any of these features 😥. I admit I can tick some of them off, but certainly not all. As the psychologist defines it, it’s the accumulation of all these signs that makes someone be defined as temperamental. Phew, this time I got away with it 😅!

>>> I also asked myself the question: Am I a toxic person? Your turn to take the test!

Is being temperamental a problem?

As Patrick Estrade explains, it’s not a pathological disorder, but a behavioral disorder. To compare and understand, it’s the same distinction between being volatile and being bipolar. Nevertheless, even if it’s not a major psychological problem, it’s still a problem, especially for those around you.

Bitter, impatient, negative... None of these words sound good, do they 😶? Yet this is what we transmit to the people around us when we’re temperamental. Talking and listening are almost impossible, as they’re so caught up in their own emotions. As with inflexible people, those around them put up with it, but to what extent 🤕? Even if there’s no open conflict, weariness and bitterness eventually prevail. The climate of injustice and friction caused by a temperamental person can therefore lead to a break-up, whether in love, friendship or family 💔.

You may be interested in this article >>> Why does no one like me?

Is it possible to stop being temperamental?

Nobody wants to find themselves on their own. However, we’ve understood that this is what can happen to a temperamental person. However, fortunately, nothing should be taken as fatal. You can change, even if it’s difficult to question yourself.

Fed up

It’s never easy to take a critical look at ourselves...

Indeed, that’s the whole point, we need to be able to take a step back from our behavior. It generally starts with the reproaches of those around us, who criticize the way we act. We need to ask ourselves questions: did I overreact? Was I unpleasant? Why did I feel that way? 👉 Yes, it’s a real work of introspection and retrospection on our actions that we need to do, but it’s the only way to stop being a temperamental person.

Therapy, a real way to progress

Change is possible, but it’s easier said than done. You don’t wake up one morning a totally different person because you called yourself into question the day before 🤐.

No, it’s work that takes time, and psychotherapy can be of great help. We can understand why we’re temperamental depending on our experiences, if it affects other psychological disorders and above all, that the therapist can help us to change. Cognitive and behavioral therapy is the most suitable way to change how we work and be a better person for ourselves and for others.

How to react to a temperamental person?

If I was able to dismiss the idea that I was temperamental, my father couldn’t. For many years I said nothing, preferring to let the storm pass, until one day I’d had enough. As the psychologist says, you mustn’t put up with it and say stop quite quickly, otherwise, you run the risk of exhaustion and a breakdown. It didn’t go that far for me, I took advantage of a moment of calm to explain what was on my mind about his behavior. It wasn’t an easy moment to go through, because as the therapist points out, the other person is in denial. For them, it’s the others who have a problem, not them.

Nevertheless, love and the desire to stay together have helped my father to look at himself more honestly. Even though sometimes he still has outbursts of anger, we often talk about them to debrief his progress or blunders. Talking about it is still the best solution 🤗!

Editor’s note: You have to work at it!

There you have it, now you know more about temperamental people and why they react the way they do. We hope that this article will help you to understand them better and to help them. Perhaps this is also the case for you? Perhaps you’re temperamental? As Camille said so well, don’t panic, it can be worked on... The hardest thing is becoming aware of it... Don’t hesitate to make an appointment with a psychologist in order to take stock and free yourself from what’s preventing you from being perfectly happy.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out the following articles too;

Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

Our most popular psychology articles:

Insights into a narcissist's brain:

8 Reasons Why All Narcissists Are Hypocrites

If you know anything about narcissists, you'll surely be aware that they are extremely overly judgmental and critical, especially towards other people. Their faultfinding stems from their perception of ultimate superiority, and therefore legitimizes them in holding people to intimidatingly high standards 👑. However, although they may believe they are pretty much perfect, the reality couldn't be any more different, yet they are slightly more forgiving with themselves. That's right, they are huge hypocrites and go from one extreme to another in a split second. Here we discuss the reasons behind their hypocritical behavior.

What Is The Narcissistic Stare? - 5 Reasons Why They Glare 👀

Narcissists have a reputation for being amongst the most manipulative people out there, and rightly so! The truth is, these people are so good at the evil things they do because they operate under the radar and use covert methods to exercise their depraved missions. Now, one of the biggest and seemingly most unsuspecting techniques they use to manipulate and control their victims is staring. You're no doubt a little dubious about a stare being an effective tool in the art of manipulation, but it's true, a void and menacing look is one of the most intimidating and unnerving gestures that these folks turn to.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

Do Narcissists Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control 😨. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

What Phrases Do Narcissists Say? - 20 Crushing Statements

Narcissists are known for having a certain way with words, these folks certainly use this talent to their advantage, that's to say, to sink their teeth into their victims. Now, these calculating crooks don't use their gift of the gab to build people up, no, of course, they don't! Instead, the opposite is true, they use their smoothness to tear down their victims, destroy their confidence, and isolate them from their loved ones, all whilst brainwashing them and pretending to be the real victim. Wow, I don't know about you, but to me, that seems like a lot of work! Now, as skillful narcissists are, they can't completely dissimulate their true intentions and at points, their tongue betrays them, as you'll soon see in the following quotes. Here's what they typically say to bring people down...

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

How To Stop Being A Narcissist

Whilst many narcissists would never dream of changing their ways, those with a less severe form of this personality disorder are more likely to alter their ways. Now, many of us, and probably rightly so, tend to believe that narcissists are completely devoid of any empathy and that they are rigid and domineering by nature, but that’s not to say they can’t work towards being better people. After all, change IS certainly possible when you want it, and especially when you are willing to work for it. Admittedly, no one can just switch off their narcissistic button within themselves, but they can do things to be better.

What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You've Figured Them Out

Dealing with a narcissist is never simple because let's face it, these folks aren't exactly the most reasonable or stable people around. Now, due to the fact that they are quite simply obsessed with being in control and particularly concerned with how they are perceived, they don't exactly take being exposed very well. Indeed, once they realize that you are on to them and have sussed out their behavior, they become very vindictive and plunge their victims into a further world of pain. Here are 10 things they often do when the jig is up.

10 Reasons Why You'll Get No Closure With A Narcissist

Narcissists have a reputation for being nightmare exes, and their toxic behavior following a breakup really does reinforce this idea. Being dumped doesn't really go down well with these folks, which explains why they'll do everything in their power to prevent their ex, or should I say victim, from moving on. Closure isn't an easy thing to obtain upon walking away from a toxic relationship, and here are 10 reasons why.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde