Life sucks anyway
I think you’ll have gathered from the glass-half-empty metaphor that negativity bias is the tendency to attach more importance to negative experiences than positive ones.
This cognitive distortion has been highlighted by several psychological studies. For example, the researchers Baumeister, Bratslavsky, Finkenauer, and Vohs have shown that negative emotions have a stronger and longer-lasting impact on us than positive emotions. We retain only what upsets, hurts, or frightens us.
“Bad events have more impact than good ones. Negative relationships outweigh positive ones. Criticism has more power than compliments.” - Roy F. Baumeister
Why do I confine myself to negativity?
One day I asked myself why I couldn’t see the positive. So I asked my therapist, and she explained that it was a question of survival 🤨.
At first, I didn’t really understand, but she explained that, just like our phobias, our brains were programmed to be alert to dangers. Indeed, our distant ancestors didn’t have the comforts of modern life, and they had to pay attention to predators, rather than the sunset 😅.
Admittedly, we no longer have predators, at least not in our daily lives. However, this reflex has remained ingrained in us. That’s why we have anticipatory anxiety, because that’s how our brain is “wired” 🧠. As a result, we retain an unpleasant remark more, whereas a compliment will be quickly forgotten 😒. Yep!
👋 You may be interested in this article: The most beautiful compliments to give people you love
The consequences of negativity bias
It sounds like I woke up one morning and asked myself the question in the previous section, but that’s really not the case 😬. In fact, it had been several years since my mental health and fulfillment had been at a low ebb... Not to say I was depressed and missing out on the best things life had to offer.
Worse still, the slightest difficulty became a huge mountain. I couldn’t manage my problems properly! And of course, this had a huge impact on my relationships.
Negativity bias leads to a whole host of consequences that have a huge impact on our lives. It was for all these reasons that I decided to start counseling because I was definitely unhappy.
How do you overcome your negativity bias?
The first solution is the one I’ve found: consult a therapist. Indeed, through CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, you can learn techniques to “reprogram” your brain and your way of thinking. However, I know that psychological counseling isn’t accessible to everyone, which is why I’m going to give you a few tips that I’ve learned through therapy to overcome negativity 🧐:
- 👉 Be aware of your negative thoughts. When a gloomy thought crosses your mind, tell yourself: look, my negativity bias is kicking in, be careful!
- 👉 Get some perspective. Ask yourself if the situation is really that bad or if you’re exaggerating a bit. Put things into perspective.
- 👉 Be grateful. I’m not one for toxic positivity, but every day I try to find 3 positive things about my day. It helps me balance the scales.
- 👉 Surround yourself with people who bring you up, rather than down. For all toxic relationships, it’s bye-bye!
- 👉 Dare to see opportunities in difficulties. Failure can be a chance to learn and bounce back.
In fact, it’s all about developing a form of realistic optimism, as advocated by psychologist Suzanne Segerstrom. Seeing life as it is, with its ups and downs, without sinking into negativity. It’s quite an art, but it’s one you can learn in the end if you really want to be happier!
Editor’s note: Overcoming your own mental barriersEvery day is a new opportunity to choose how we want to see the world - half full or half empty? Don’t let negativity bias decide for you. Take control, surround yourself with positivity, and don’t hesitate to seek help if the weight becomes too heavy. Sometimes we need help to overcome our own mental barriers. If you often feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts, if you find it difficult to see the “glass half full”, it might be worth talking to a professional. A psychologist can help you to understand and restructure your thoughts, offering you tools to reset the way you think.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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