“Everything’s Going Wrong, I’m Telling You!” Beware Of Negativity Bias!

Last updated by Rosie Harlow

I bet you’ve heard the expression “look at the glass half full, rather than half empty”, which encourages us to look on the bright side of things. Except that some people can’t help but always see the glass as half empty. It’s called negativity bias! I admit that it was quite strong for me, but since I started therapy, I’ve rediscovered a more balanced outlook on life. Let me explain.

“Everything’s Going Wrong, I’m Telling You!” Beware Of Negativity Bias!

Life sucks anyway

I think you’ll have gathered from the glass-half-empty metaphor that negativity bias is the tendency to attach more importance to negative experiences than positive ones.

This cognitive distortion has been highlighted by several psychological studies. For example, the researchers Baumeister, Bratslavsky, Finkenauer, and Vohs have shown that negative emotions have a stronger and longer-lasting impact on us than positive emotions. We retain only what upsets, hurts, or frightens us.


“Bad events have more impact than good ones. Negative relationships outweigh positive ones. Criticism has more power than compliments.” - Roy F. Baumeister


Why do I confine myself to negativity?

One day I asked myself why I couldn’t see the positive. So I asked my therapist, and she explained that it was a question of survival 🤨.

At first, I didn’t really understand, but she explained that, just like our phobias, our brains were programmed to be alert to dangers. Indeed, our distant ancestors didn’t have the comforts of modern life, and they had to pay attention to predators, rather than the sunset 😅.

Admittedly, we no longer have predators, at least not in our daily lives. However, this reflex has remained ingrained in us. That’s why we have anticipatory anxiety, because that’s how our brain is “wired” 🧠. As a result, we retain an unpleasant remark more, whereas a compliment will be quickly forgotten 😒. Yep!

👋 You may be interested in this article: The most beautiful compliments to give people you love

The consequences of negativity bias

It sounds like I woke up one morning and asked myself the question in the previous section, but that’s really not the case 😬. In fact, it had been several years since my mental health and fulfillment had been at a low ebb... Not to say I was depressed and missing out on the best things life had to offer.

Worse still, the slightest difficulty became a huge mountain. I couldn’t manage my problems properly! And of course, this had a huge impact on my relationships.

Negativity bias leads to a whole host of consequences that have a huge impact on our lives. It was for all these reasons that I decided to start counseling because I was definitely unhappy.

How do you overcome your negativity bias?

The first solution is the one I’ve found: consult a therapist. Indeed, through CBT, cognitive behavioral therapy, you can learn techniques to “reprogram” your brain and your way of thinking. However, I know that psychological counseling isn’t accessible to everyone, which is why I’m going to give you a few tips that I’ve learned through therapy to overcome negativity 🧐:

  • 👉 Be aware of your negative thoughts. When a gloomy thought crosses your mind, tell yourself: look, my negativity bias is kicking in, be careful!
  • 👉 Get some perspective. Ask yourself if the situation is really that bad or if you’re exaggerating a bit. Put things into perspective.
  • 👉 Be grateful. I’m not one for toxic positivity, but every day I try to find 3 positive things about my day. It helps me balance the scales.
  • 👉 Surround yourself with people who bring you up, rather than down. For all toxic relationships, it’s bye-bye!
  • 👉 Dare to see opportunities in difficulties. Failure can be a chance to learn and bounce back.

In fact, it’s all about developing a form of realistic optimism, as advocated by psychologist Suzanne Segerstrom. Seeing life as it is, with its ups and downs, without sinking into negativity. It’s quite an art, but it’s one you can learn in the end if you really want to be happier!

Editor’s note: Overcoming your own mental barriers

Every day is a new opportunity to choose how we want to see the world - half full or half empty? Don’t let negativity bias decide for you. Take control, surround yourself with positivity, and don’t hesitate to seek help if the weight becomes too heavy. Sometimes we need help to overcome our own mental barriers. If you often feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts, if you find it difficult to see the “glass half full”, it might be worth talking to a professional. A psychologist can help you to understand and restructure your thoughts, offering you tools to reset the way you think.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Connect with an advisor

Be sure to check out the following articles too;

Article presented by Rosie Harlow

Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow.

Read our latest articles here:

Female Covert Narcissists

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. 🦹‍♀️ They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul. Here are insights into how to identify a female covert narcissist and how to deal with one.

Do We Always Need To Have The Last Word?

Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?

Is My Mom A Narcissist? 10 Things Narcissistic Mothers Do

Do you remember back in the day when you were a teen and constantly fought with your parents, and in particular your mom? Whether it was because you wanted to stay out past your curfew or chose to parade around in your new miniskirt, many of us have faced constant battles with our mothers. However, for those of us dealing with a narcissistic mom, the problems don’t stop when we finish puberty, no, in fact, they stick with us throughout our lives and make it impossible for us to establish a healthy relationship with the person who brought us into the world. Now, if the scenarios below seem all too familiar, then you might just have been raised by a narcissist.

Do We Have To Love Our Parents?

When we’re little, we love them unconditionally and do anything to seek their affection. Our parents are our role models, our inspiration, our protection. Then, when puberty kicks in, and we become teenagers, war sometimes breaks out. This is all very normal, but once the period of hormones and braces has passed, it’s not always a given to love your parents, and that’s okay, plus admitting it feels fantastic!

The 10 Weak Points Of A Narcissist Revealed

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on 👎.

What Are The Traits Of A Narcissist?

Whether it’s your boss, your partner, or even a family member; we are all very likely to come into contact with what’s known as a narcissistic at one point or another. Now, we hear so much about them and especially about how dangerous they can be for us, so how can we be prepared to avoid falling into a destructive spiral with one? Well, the best solution to avoid plunging into precarious territory with one, is knowing how to recognize their narcissistic characteristics. Indeed, all types of narcissists exhibit common behavioral traits and attitudes, so without further ado, let’s explore them and learn to spot them.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Signs A Narcissist Is Playing Mind Games With You And What To Do

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. 😱 Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too 😈. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else? If, on the other hand, you're looking to get a narcissist hooked on you, you're in the right place with these tips.



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack