8 Tips For Living With An Inflexible Person

Last updated by Katie M.

Excessive rigor, control, the need to be right all the time… it’s suffocating and exhausting to live with an inflexible person! They’re great believers in “you must”, “I have to”, “do this”, etc. Basically, the inflexible individual wants to control everything. However, you shouldn’t forget that this behavior is linked to suffering and great anxiety. So, how can you negotiate with an inflexible person to live more serenely? Here are 8 tips to bear in mind so that it goes more smoothly.

8 Tips For Living With An Inflexible Person

8 tips for negotiating with an inflexible person

1. Communicate

This is the key to any relationship (family, romantic, professional), as is active listening. You need to be able to positively welcome differences in ideas, opinions and ways of doing things. Of course, the inflexible individual remains closed-minded and strict, but you need to pay attention to what the other one thinks and feels. This also enables you to express your emotions and ideas calmly, without entering into conflict.

➜ It’s easier to deny a reproach than an emotion experienced by others, which is why it’s necessary to communicate them to the inflexible person.

>>> To learn more about how to let go and live freely

2. Don’t be confrontational

It’s useless and ineffective to confront an inflexible individual. If they need so many frameworks and rules, it’s because they’re anxious people. They’re therefore not in control of their rigidity, which is why it’s better to bring things in gently. Non-violent communication helps a lot in this sense.

💡 Step by step, it’s possible to relax the inflexible person and to soften the dictated rules. Patience and empathy are needed to show understanding for the other person.

3. Determine your priorities

In order to live more serenely and also reassure the inflexible person, it’s important to determine with them what is a priority. Indeed, establishing what is necessary for them will help you to calm them down, but also highlight their anxieties. On our side, we’ll know what is particularly sensitive for the other person, and we’ll pay attention to it. It’s a behavior that will be noted, which will relax the inflexible person for other points.

4. Use “we”

The killer “you” is the best way to increase tension! Indeed, it puts the other person in opposition to our way of doing things and our desires. To include the other person in a process, a reflection, an action, you need to use “we”. For example:

  • ❌ “You always do it like that!”
  • ✅ “What if we did it like this?”

The 'we' erases the feeling of being in opposition, so it also helps to avoid confrontation with the inflexible individual.

5. Show love and humor

You live with or love an inflexible person, and they’re also loving, too. This is the precious key to softening their rigidity. Showing humor and love is essential for building a healthy and solid relationship. It also facilitates communication because there is an established trust.

⚠️ Be careful, however, not to hurt the feelings of the inflexible individual. Under the guise of humor, you can’t get everything across, and it’s vital you take care not to hurt others.

6. Suggest activities

Inflexibility is accentuated by daily life. So to get a change of air, it may be interesting to suggest activities that relax the other person. You shouldn’t forget that rigidity is a defense mechanism for obsessive personalities. So you should recommend ideas of things to do while asking for the other person’s opinion.

⌚ With an inflexible individual, it’s best not to leave things to the last minute. Spontaneity is something that’s difficult for them to master, but it’s perfectly fine to plan activities in advance.

7. Define your personal space

Living with an inflexible person isn’t easy, whether it’s with your partner, your parents, a friend, etc. So in order to live together as best as possible, you need to define your personal space. Explain to the other person that they shouldn’t come into this space. It allows you to have a zone where you feel freer, without the other person controlling you. It may be a bedroom, a room or even an area like your office. By doing this, you avoid conflicts and turning your anger into violence.

8. Protect yourself

Unfortunately, sometimes, no matter how much effort you make, it doesn’t work. The other person is unable to break free of their rigidity or become more flexible. If this behavior becomes toxic for you, you need to take a step back to protect yourself psychologically. Indeed, a person who cannot control their anxieties and is unable to manage their emotions can become unhealthy for you. In this case, you need to distance yourself by explaining your reasons.

➜ You can’t save everyone, even if you love the person. They need to be the one to make the decision to seek help.

Editor’s note: Avoid confrontation

“That’s the way it is”, “you need to…”, “you have to…”, “don’t do that…” Living or working with an inflexible person isn’t always easy. Just remember that getting into a confrontation won’t help, quite the contrary. Answer calmly, follow these 8 tips, and you’ll come to an agreement. And by the way, you don’t live with an inflexible person by chance? What attracted you to them? An unconscious need to be led? If your relationship is a problem for you, don’t hesitate to contact one of our psychologists to take stock of the situation.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!


Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Survivorship Bias

“Wow, if he/she was able to succeed, I can too”. That’s how we embark on years and years of trying to do something and failing. It’s called being a victim of survivorship bias, and it happened to me for a long time. But what is it? Why can survivorship bias contribute to a sense of failure about our lives? It’s important to learn to think about those who have failed, so as not to be deluded. Let’s explain.

"My Ex Was Crazy" If A Guy Says This… Run!

I am probably the crazy ex. At least, I'm pretty sure some of my exes present me that way to their new girlfriends. Except that description shouldn’t be overlooked because it reveals a lot about a man’s behavior and could be seen as a red flag. What's behind it when a man talks about his ex, who was an alleged total nut job? Here’s why you ought to run as fast as you can if you’re currently dating a guy who deems his ex as crazy.

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We’ve no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

8 Dangerous Mind Games That All Narcissists Play

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

How Do You Know A Narcissist Is Cheating?

Narcissism is wholly incompatible with healthy relationships, which goes some way in explaining why people with this personality disorder always believe the grass is greener elsewhere. Indeed, fidelity isn’t something they excel in and adds to their exhaustive list of weaknesses alongside their love of manipulation and dishonesty. However, they are so cunning and crafty that catching them out and confirming your intuitions is no easy feat. To make things easier for you, here are the 10 signs you need to look out for if you believe your narcissistic man is cheating on you.

What Is The Tinkerbell Syndrome In Psychology?

Brilliant, ambitious, perfectionist... These words correspond to some people, especially women, who suffer from “Tinkerbell” syndrome. But as in all fairy tales, there’s a dark side... Just like Peter Pan’s fairy, they try to impress and are perpetually unfulfilled, compulsively seductive, and even manipulative. Psychotherapist Sylvie Tenenbaum coined this term after noticing that some people were obsessed with appearances and success. Let’s explain.

What Are The 10 Most Unusual Phobias?

From a fear of flying, crowds or enclosed spaces, the list of phobias of all sorts of things is quite long and fairly surprising. If some of them are quite well-known and common likes those aforementioned, others can seem very strange and barely even credible. Are you ready to get your heartbeat racing? Here, we take a look at some of the most unusual things that people are afraid of and trust us; although they may not seem it, they are all completely real!

Female Covert Narcissists

It’s time to set the record straight, although male narcissists typically get a lot of flack, yet, female covert narcissists are just, if not even more dangerous than the guys. These women are the definition of devious and know how to wrap people around their little fingers without anyone ever really catching on to their behavior and conniving ways. They are a force to be reckoned with and certainly never back down from the challenge of breaking someone’s soul.

What Is Candaulism?

Now, many of you are no doubt scratching your head wondering what candaulism means, but some of you must already know by now, and that would explain the recent spike in Google searches for the term. Candaulism is in fact a sexual practice in which a man exposes his female partner or photos of her, to other consenting people. This particular fantasy is therefore associated with exhibitionism. Although that’s not all, the term can also apply to a male partner watching his girlfriend or wife making love to someone else. So, let’s take a peep (get it?) at this practice.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist


  1. Only LoveBen Howard
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack