I Feel Useless: Why Do I Feel Like This? How Do I Cope?

Last updated by Lauren Hart

There have been times in my life when I’ve felt useless, too much, out of place... Whether at work or even in general. I felt like I wasn’t contributing anything to anyone. Fortunately, I managed to combat this feeling, thanks in particular to therapy. I understood where it was coming from, and I managed to get rid of this negative emotion. Today, I’m sharing with you how to move on.

I Feel Useless: Why Do I Feel Like This? How Do I Cope?

Why have I come to feel useless?

“I’ve got no purpose.” I think that at one time or another, any human being can feel useless and for various reasons (for example: not having the right skills 🫣). Nevertheless, if there are other things associated with it, if we feel empty, depressed, and have the feeling that we’re worthless and useless, we need to dig deeper and understand what’s behind it all. We can come to feel useless because we:

  • 👉 Compare ourselves to others: Unfortunately, our society pushes us to compare ourselves all the time, so when faced with the successes of others, we can quickly feel useless...
  • 👉 Suffer from a lack of self-esteem: I’m raising my hand loud and clear... When you have a self-confidence deficit, you constantly feel that you’re not up to scratch and that you’re not worth anything.
  • 👉 Have no plans: If you don’t have clear goals or objectives in life, you can feel useless, which has happened to me several times. Having plans gives meaning to our lives and allows us to excel.
  • 👉 Suffer from social isolation: There was a period in my life when I had little contact with others. Withdrawal and isolation push us into this feeling of uselessness because we feel like we don’t count for anyone.
  • 👉 Replay past failures: We’ve taken on board the fact that failure is shameful, so we end up feeling useless. Failures end up defining our value when they’re just a normal part of learning.
  • 👉 Have had traumas: Some experiences are real emotional shocks, and it’s difficult to rebuild positively after going through them, so you end up feeling useless.
  • 👉 Experience difficulties with our mental health: Something much deeper may be lurking behind the feeling of uselessness, it may be a symptom of depression or the characterization of an anxiety disorder.

Personally, I didn’t feel good for a long time, I really felt like I was good for nothing 🥹... With time, I realized that there were several causes: lack of confidence, trauma, and anxiety. Taking a step back and understanding what’s behind this feeling is essential if we’re to move forward, but it’s not the only solution.

How do you get over this feeling of uselessness?

Feeling useless is a cumbersome and devastating emotion 💔. However, what we have to come to understand is that it’s only a perception. In reality, we have a value, and we need to differentiate between the way we’re seen and the way we really are. We need to distance ourselves from this kind of harmful feeling, but that’s not all.

Learn to see yourself differently

Indeed, in order to overcome our feelings of uselessness, we also need to learn to identify our negative thoughts. At times when things really weren’t going well, I had cognitive distortions, I always saw the glass as half empty, rather than half full 🥃. Our thoughts can be heavily impacted by our mood and bring us down, which is why we need to detach ourselves from them.

I also realized something else: that it was time to love myself and see my worth. During therapy, I learned self-compassion and to see myself as my own best friend. We all need to look at ourselves with kindness and forgive our mistakes in order to move forward.

Explore new things

It’s also vital to do some soul-searching and ask yourself the right questions: what do we like doing? What makes us happy? Are there talents or skills that we don’t use enough?... This internal analysis can help us discover aspects of ourselves that we may be neglecting. We can also think about exploring things we’ve never done before, like volunteering. Yes, there are simple actions that are extremely gratifying and that give real meaning to our lives. It gives us a new perspective on the value we can bring to others 🌍.

Surround yourself with loving people

We mustn’t forget to take a look at the relationship aspect of our lives. When I was at my lowest ebb, I was single and felt that no one would love me. I didn’t see much of my friends and family, which added to my feeling of uselessness. But we’re often much more appreciated than we think. So don’t hesitate to talk to those close to you and surround yourself with people who mean well. Yes, there are sometimes toxic relationships that drag us down, in which case we sort them out to get back up stronger 💪.

It's important to remember that you’re not useless, and that you have a role to play in this world 🤕. We all have unique talents and qualities, every human being has value. It’s possible to transform that feeling of uselessness, believe me.

Editor’s note: A strong sign not to be neglected

If you feel worthless, it’s a warning sign not to be ignored. 🚨 A psychologist can help you understand these feelings and their origins, and work on your self-esteem. Together, you can change this negative perception and regain a more positive view of yourself. Don’t wait, take the first step towards well-being and make an appointment. Be certain that you have value and that you deserve to feel good. 💪🙂💖

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

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Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

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Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
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  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
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  4. Beautiful DayU2
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  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
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  6. White FlagDido
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  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
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  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
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  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
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  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

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