I Feel Useless: Why Do I Feel Like This? How Do I Cope?

Why do I end up feeling useless?

"What's the point of me?" At one time or another, any person can feel useless – and for all kinds of reasons (maybe because we feel like we lack certain skills 🫣). However, if this feeling goes hand in hand with other factors, like when we feel empty, depressed, or that we’re worthless, it’s important to dig deeper and understand what’s really behind it. There are several reasons why someone might end up feeling useless, such as:

• 👉 Comparing Ourselves to Others: Our society constantly encourages comparison, so when we see others succeed, it’s easy to end up feeling like we don’t measure up…
• 👉 A Lack of Self-Esteem: I relate to this one quite strongly… A confidence deficit makes us constantly feel like we’re not enough or don’t matter.
• 👉 No Clear Goals or Projects: When we lack goals or a purpose in life, it’s easy to feel lost and without value. There have been moments in my life where this was especially true for me. Setting objectives gives meaning to life and encourages personal growth.
• 👉 Social Isolation: At one point in my life, I had very little interaction with others. Isolation and withdrawing into oneself can lead to feeling like we don’t matter because we assume no one notices us.
• 👉 Dwelling on Past Failures: Society has conditioned us to see failure as something to avoid at all costs, which can lead to feelings of shame and uselessness. We let failures define our value, even though stumbling is a normal part of growth.
• 👉 Traumas: Certain experiences can be real emotional shocks, making it difficult to rebuild positively. This can leave us stuck in feelings of worthlessness.
• 👉 Mental Health Struggles: Sometimes, a deeper issue is at play – for example, feeling useless might be a symptom of depression or indicate an anxiety disorder.

For me, I struggled with feeling unwell and unworthy for quite a long time 🥹. Over time, I realized that my feelings came from multiple sources – lack of self-confidence, past traumas, and anxiety. Taking a step back to understand the root of these feelings was key to moving forward, but it wasn’t the only step.

👋 You might also find this helpful: I feel lonely: 8 ways to fill that void inside

Learning to see yourself differently

Feeling useless is a heavy, destructive emotion 💔. But here’s the key: it’s often just a perception. In truth, we all have value. What’s crucial is learning to separate how we see ourselves from the reality of who we are. Distancing ourselves from toxic thoughts is essential, but there’s more to it than that.

To get past this sensation, it's important to begin by identifying our negative thoughts. During my most difficult times, I dealt with cognitive distortions, constantly seeing the glass as half-empty 🥃. Our mood can deeply influence our thoughts, pulling us into a negative spiral – which is why it’s essential to break that cycle.

I also learned something else: it’s time to love ourselves and see our worth. During therapy, I practiced self-compassion and started treating myself as if I were my own best friend. We all deserve to look at ourselves with kindness and forgive our mistakes in order to move forward.

Exploring new horizons

It’s also important to do a little soul-searching by asking yourself the right questions: What do I enjoy doing? What makes me happy? Are there any talents or skills I’m not fully using?...

This kind of self-reflection can help us discover parts of ourselves that we may have overlooked. Consider also exploring activities you’ve never tried before – like volunteering. Simple actions like this can be incredibly rewarding and give real meaning to life. Suddenly, we see how much value we can bring to others 🌍.

Finding loving people to surround you

Don’t forget to focus on the relationships in your life. When I was at my lowest, I was single and felt like no one cared about me. I rarely saw my friends or family, which only made me feel more isolated. But here’s the thing: most of the time, we’re far more appreciated than we realize. Open up to the people you trust and surround yourself with loving and supportive individuals. On the flip side, if there are toxic relationships dragging you down, take a step back and prioritize your well-being. Sometimes clearing space in your life allows you to come back stronger 💪.

Remember, you are not useless. You have a role to play in this world. 🤕 Everyone has unique talents and strengths, and every single one of us brings something valuable to the table. Believe me, it’s possible to turn feelings of worthlessness around.

You might also find these helpful:

• I fear failure – how can I overcome this feeling?
• Feeling rejected: Where does this sense of exclusion come from?