1. Identify your strengths
Everyone has superpowers. That’s what I try to remind myself, despite my lack of self-confidence 😅. This statement isn’t trivial, as it pushes me to remember my strengths. That’s what you need to do as well—remind yourself that it’s important to identify your strengths.
For example, introverts often have excellent listening skills, sharp observation, or deep reflection.
In fact, the study “Positive Psychology Progress: Empirical Validation of Interventions” by Martin Seligman revealed that recognizing and actively using your strengths can have a lasting positive impact on self-confidence. So, don’t hesitate to leverage your strengths to shine in your interactions!
👋 You might like this article: The 7 Superpowers of Highly Sensitive People 💪
2. Set small challenges
When you’re afraid of not having something to say or doing something embarrassing, you need to start by mastering small social situations. At first, I was so anxious that going to a party where I only knew one person terrified me. To overcome this, I decided to gradually implement strategies to feel more comfortable around strangers.
👉 You can start by smiling at three people a day, then move on to saying "hello" the following week, and eventually initiating a mini-conversation...
By talking to strangers more and more, I became increasingly at ease. It’s important to push your limits, but
always step by step 🤗.
3. Focus on your interests
My friends often tell me that I’m an interesting person with surprising passions. Stubborn as I am, I used to refuse to accept their compliments 😓. But as I worked on myself, I realized that my interests could be incredibly enriching for others.
So, I decided to use this to create connections more easily. When people ask me what I do in life, I don’t just talk about my job—I share what I’m passionate about. It’s a natural way to spark spontaneous and authentic exchanges!
📌 You can also use your passions to join a club, an association, or a workshop related to your interests to meet new people. It’s much easier to approach others when you know you already have something in common. |
👋 You might like this article: I hate my life... Here's why
4. Stay focused on the other person
One of the most important things in a conversation is staying focused on the other person. Often, when we’re anxious, we get lost in our own thoughts. You know, thoughts like “What does he or she think of me?”, “Am I being awkward?”, “I shouldn’t have said that,” etc. But all of this completely disconnects us from the other person—our attention is turned inward 🙃.
To avoid this, we need to practice:
- 👉 Curiosity: Ask them questions and genuinely wait for their response.
- 👉 Rephrasing: If you misunderstood something, don’t hesitate to rephrase what they said.
- 👉 Following Up: Build on what the other person shares by adding your perspective or experience.
5. Expose yourself to “safe” situations
Let’s revisit the second point: when setting challenges, it’s important to expose yourself to “safe” situations. Not because there’s any real danger (except maybe a panic attack 🤧…), but because jumping straight into a party full of strangers when you NEVER approach others can be terrifying 😱.
You should start with lighter situations in your daily life: exchanging a few words with a cashier or your Uber driver, for example. Gradually, you’ll ease into small talk without the pressure of high stakes!
Did You Know? Another fascinating study published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (Sandstrom & Dunn, 2014) showed that even brief and superficial daily social interactions significantly contribute to better self-confidence 😌. |
6. Dare to be yourself
“Authenticity is the foundation of any fulfilling relationship,” as psychoanalyst Paola Mieli so aptly puts it. Instead of trying to conform to the crowd, we should highlight what makes us unique. I used to think everyone was like me—I didn’t see my own uniqueness 🙁.
But that’s not true. We all have something that makes us special, and we shouldn’t hesitate to show it to others. Why? Because people are naturally drawn to authentic and sincere personalities!
Dare to be yourself! People will appreciate you for who you are.
7. Embrace discomfort
This is perhaps the hardest part, especially if you’re highly sensitive, like me 🙈. Feeling discomfort, awkwardness, or even facing our fears can be paralyzing. However, it’s crucial to learn to accept these feelings to better connect with others.
👉 How do you do it? Remind yourself that Rome wasn’t built in a day! Yes, your first interactions might be uncomfortable, but that’s normal—it’s just the beginning!
I felt a lot of awkwardness from my clumsiness during my initial conversations. But by acknowledging that it might happen and practicing self-compassion, I kept going. And when I noticed an interaction went well or that I had formed a connection, I focused on that! Let’s build on our victories rather than our failures to move forward 💪.
Editorial Note: Step out of your comfort zoneWhen you are a natural introvert, meeting new people isn't exactly an easy feat, however, that doesn't mean it's impossible. With some work and efforts in order to push yourself out of your comfort zone, anything is possible. Give it a try for yourself, and you could be surprised! 🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... It starts here and now!
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