How Do I Know If I’m Transgender? #identity

Last updated by Katie M.

A few years ago, I was talking with a friend who told me that he’d questioned his identity several times. His assigned gender at birth was “male” but he felt more “female”. Being transgender means feeling a discrepancy between the gender assigned at birth and how you feel. I thought it was something that you knew deep down since forever, but in reality, my friend made me realize that it was much more complicated than that. So, how do you know if you’re transgender? Here’s how.

How Do I Know If I’m Transgender? #identity
Contents: 

What is trans identity?

As explained in the introduction, trans identity is when you don’t identify with the gender you were assigned at birth. For example, I was born a girl and I identify as female, so I’m “cisgender” (the opposite of transgender). However, this isn’t the case for everyone. To understand better:

👉 A trans woman: assigned a boy at birth but identifies as female. She wants to use female pronouns to talk about herself.

👉 A trans man: assigned a girl at birth but identifies as male. He wants to use male pronouns to talk about himself.

👉 Non-binary people: Being trans also means not fitting into the binary of genders. Some people define themselves as neither male nor female. On the other hand, others identify as both or between the two.

Detecting a discrepancy

The best way to know if you’re trans is to identify a discrepancy through:

  • The gender assigned by doctors when you were born;
  • The way you’re perceived by society;
  • The way you perceive yourself.

This was the case of my friend who no longer identified as a man, but rather as a woman (from now on, I’ll talk about her in the female form). It can be psychologically complicated to have this reflection, especially depending on the social context in which we evolve 😥. Realizing that you’re transgender can also lead to dysphoria.

Gender dysphoria

The discrepancies felt can provoke a dissociation of your self-image. This can result in self-abandonment to the point of hatred of your body, known as gender dysphoria. The latter is potentially dangerous, as it can lead to depression or suicide attempts… If a person feels an aversion to their body, this may be a sign of trans identity.

⚠️ However, not everyone goes through this. Some people don’t feel hatred towards their genitals and therefore don’t understand that they’re transgender. It’s therefore difficult for them to begin the transition by changing their name, pronouns, wardrobe, taking hormonal treatment, or even having an operation.

Getting rid of preconceived ideas

Beyond the feeling of being out of step and dysphoria, it’s also important to get rid of preconceived ideas about trans identity. You can be transgender and:

  • Enjoy stereotypical activities of your assigned gender. For example a trans man may like to wear nail polish and make-up.
  • Be homosexual in your chosen gender. For example, a trans man who prefers men is considered a homosexual. The female gender assigned at the birth of the trans man “no longer exists”, you should refer to the gender chosen by the person. Only 22% of trans people identify as heterosexual.
  • Understand that you can be trans at any age. 67% of trans people begin their transition between the ages of 18 and 34.
  • Have been a cisgender mother or father: therefore, having had children before your trans identity.
  • Be scared of the transition, even not want/be able to start a transition.

The “we’ve always known” cliché

My friend doubted her trans identity because she had questioned it before turning 25. This is the toughest cliché: no, trans people haven’t always known that they were transgender. It’s possible to realize it at any age for an infinite number of reasons, for example:

  • A protective mechanism of the brain,
  • A social context in which the trans identity was perceived badly or was inaccessible,
  • A fear of abandonment after coming out,
  • A lack of thought about it,
  • A pleasure in “performing” the gender assigned at birth,
  • A repressed denial,
  • ...

👥 There are so many reasons why an individual may hide their trans identity. It’s an internal journey that takes time and needs to be supported by regular introspection.

Projecting yourself as the other gender

A good way to find out if you’re transgender is to do projection exercises. In other words, you should imagine being born in the body of the opposite sex. Do you want to stay there? If so, you may be transgender. Likewise, you can do the exercise: “And if tomorrow I woke up with another gender, would I want to keep it?”. Again, if you answer yes, being trans is a better fit than being cis.

🧔👩 You can project yourself by socializing in another way. Social media allows you to create another identity online through pseudonyms or whatever. It’s a good way to see if you appreciate socializing as a woman or as a man.

What about non-binary?

However, you mustn’t forget non-binary too. You may want to be considered as neither a man nor a woman, nor as both. You should also imagine waking up in a world where everyone considers it normal not to have a gender, would you like that? If so, you’re probably a non-binary person.

❤️ You can be anything you decide to be: trans woman, queer, etc.

Getting support to better understand yourself

Nobody will ever be able to give us the certitude that we’re transgender. It’s up to us to take the journey needed to understand. We also have the right to change our minds about the gender we want to be assigned as many times as necessary. The important thing is to be in sync with yourself. There’s never a time when it’s not possible to change your mind 🤗.

In order to live better with your trans identity, it’s essential to get informed. Surrounding yourself is important to understand yourself 🙌!

Editor’s note: The importance of getting help

When we question our identity, our gender, who we really are, it’s hard. We don’t really know who we are or where we fit in. That’s why it’s very critical to get help from a good psychologist throughout this period. Don’t wait to make an appointment.


🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy… It’s here and now!
#BornToBeMe

Be sure to also check out the following articles;

Article presented by
Katie, M.

"🌻 Discover the world through my eyes."

Read our latest articles here:

How To Have An Orgasm? 6 Tips To Let Go And Enjoy!

How many times have I heard my friends say they couldn't reach orgasm during sex? We all deserve to experience pure pleasure when we're intimate. Personally, when I have sex, I know I’m going to orgasm. Why? Because there are a few key secrets to guarantee pleasure every time. Just like I shared them with my friends, I’m sharing them with you now—let’s dive in! [Yes, this article is specially for people with a vulva!]

Ghosting: When Silence Becomes A Brutal Breakup

One message, then two, then three… but still no response. Ghosting is a cruel breakup method that leaves you completely confused. Suddenly, you have no way to reach someone with whom everything seemed fine just moments ago. Being ghosted is incredibly difficult to handle, which is why it's important to talk about it. I’ll explain what’s behind this behavior and how to heal from it—because even though it’s extremely painful in the moment, you can move past it.

Shadow Work: How To Embrace Your Dark Side?

We all have a shadow side within us, myself included. Just like villains in movies, there are darker aspects of our personality that we prefer to hide from others. However, it’s essential to embrace these shadow parts because, as psychiatrist Carl Jung famously said, "There is no light without shadow." Let’s explore how acknowledging our "dark" side can lead to better psychological balance.

I Want My Parents To Be Proud Of Me—Why?

I'm over 30 years old, and I still feel happy when I share a success with my father. I know it brings me joy, especially since my mother is no longer with us. However, I've never really questioned it: why do I need to feel that my father is proud of me? More broadly, why do we seek our parents' approval? Wanting to make our parents happy is one thing, but it's important to reflect on this more deeply—especially if their approval plays a significant role in our lives.

The 10 Weak Points Of A Narcissist Revealed

Each one of us has our own weaknesses that hold us back in life; be it at work or in relationships. However, on a more positive note, most of us have the will to work on them and transform them. That being said, once narcissists are brought into the picture, the idea that they want to work on their weaknesses doesn’t exactly seem feasible. For a deeper understanding of these narcissists and more insights into the workings of their minds, discover their weak spots and which pointers they struggle with on a daily basis, yet aren't willing to admit or work on 👎.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. 🙈 Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Who Do Narcissists Target?

If reading up on narcissists terrifies you, you probably already realize how dangerous their toxic personalities can be. Although, that being said, I’m probably going to add to the list of reasons as to why you should be ultra wary of these abusers, by revealing who they prey on. One thing that can be said about narcissists is that they certainly aren’t predictable people! 😱 Plus, spoiler alert, they don’t necessarily always choose to emotionally abuse seemingly weak people, no, in fact, they often choose bigger fish to fry because they love a challenge. Discover the types of personalities they hone in on and why.

Why Do I Get Upset When Someone Doesn't Text Back?

Friday night rolls around and after a hard week you were expecting to have a drink with a girlfriend, but she seems to have left you hanging on read... To make matters worse (and the humiliation?) you even saw the little typing sign appear, yet you never received a reply. Well, if that’s the case, obviously you or your "how about a drink tonight?" didn’t deserve an answer. Let’s take a look at why some people don't reply to messages, and why when someone doesn't reply to your text, this makes us feel so bad.

Are Narcissists Insecure?

There is no denying that narcissistic personalities display some deeply worrying and disturbing traits, but what if these devious traits were just a means of protection? What if they were in fact a complete facade, fabricated to keep people away, in the hope of hiding their deepest darkest insecurities? 😱 After all, everyone has weak spots, even the most confident and put together of people, so why wouldn’t a narcissist deal with the same niggling doubts as everyone else? It's time we got to the bottom of this and discovered why these folks are so insecure.

How To Heal From The Pain Of Being Rejected

Whether it’s the breakdown of a relationship, a family dispute, or even being fired dismissal... We have all experienced the feeling of being rejected, excluded, or left out. Whilst some people manage to bounce back quite quickly, others suffer from it in a persistent way. As for me, I understood how to move on, because I was able to recognize my rejection wound. So, how can we overcome the fear of rejection and move on from it?



Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack