How do movies and television influence our perception of relationships?

Last updated November 8, 2024 by Rosie Harlow

I’m a 90s girl who grew up with Disney. I think that’s the case for many women our age, but for me, I realized that it completely influenced my view of romantic relationships: at 34 years old, I still feel like I’m waiting for my prince charming... Yes, cultural works like movies, and more broadly, television, can greatly influence our perception of relationships. Let me explain.

How do movies and television influence our perception of relationships?

A stereotypical view of love

Disney fairy tales sold me too many dreams 😓. A charming prince arriving on his white horse, a princess waiting to be rescued, instant love at first sight, and then they lived happily ever after... Without realizing it, I internalized this idea and for a long time, I idealized love stories 😫.

Unfortunately, this type of representation fuels the Cinderella complex 👸. In fact, psychoanalyst Colette Dowling described this syndrome as an emotional codependency in women, pushing us to passively wait for a man to come and save us, giving meaning to our lives.

What we often forget is that this representation is often the result of a male gaze, the famous "male gaze," theorized by film critic Laura Mulvey. Women are objectified, passive, and only defined by their relationship to men. Yes, many female characters are not developed as whole individuals 🙃...

Love, the one and only triumph

Notting Hill, Bridget Jones, The Holiday, Love Actually, Pretty Woman... So many movies that can create unrealistic expectations, as explained by psychologist Marisa T. Cohen. These works suggest that love conquers all, but in real life, love requires daily effort, communication, and compromise...

And when love doesn’t conquer everything, drama takes center stage 💃. On screen, couple conflicts are often intense, with grand declarations and slamming doors. But in real life, arguments are resolved with listening, calmness, and kindness.

As for breakups, while they are continuously romanticized on screen, in reality, they are much more complex and painful 😥. As psychologist Theresa DiDonato reminds us, a breakup is a grieving process that requires time and resilience. We are far from the Hollywood happy endings where love is the answer to everything...

A very real dissatisfaction

The problem is that we lock ourselves into a false vision of love that makes us unhappy. By nurturing unrealistic expectations, these representations can lead to a deep dissatisfaction.

📌

In fact, a study conducted by Dr. Bjarne Holmes from Heriot-Watt University revealed that people who believe in love as depicted in movies tend to be less satisfied with their own relationships and more prone to breakups 💔.

This dissatisfaction can also manifest as a constant search for the "perfect" partner, at the expense of real relationships, for both women and men. We can miss out on authentic connections because of what we believe to be the norm from fictional works. Not to mention that movies and series can also foster an unhealthy vision. Some works romanticize toxic behaviors, like excessive jealousy or persistence in the face of rejection, portraying them as signs of love 😟...

It’s crucial to become aware of the influence these fictional representations can have on us, in order to deconstruct them 🤔. Our love life deserves to be lived fully, with its ups and downs, without trying to reach an unattainable ideal. Because true love is the one we build day by day, accepting the other in all their complexity and humanity.

Editorial opinion: Becoming aware and deconstructing

It’s time to free ourselves from the illusions sold to us by movies and series. True love isn’t a quest for the perfect partner or a series of magical moments without effort. It’s a human adventure, imperfect, filled with ups and downs, compromises, and growth. By becoming aware of the influence of these fictional representations, we can begin to deconstruct these unrealistic expectations and embrace a more authentic vision of love.

But this awareness doesn’t happen overnight. Sometimes, it’s hard to let go of these deeply ingrained beliefs, and that’s where seeking help becomes essential. Talking to a psychologist can be the first step toward a better understanding of yourself, your expectations, and your needs. Taking care of your mental health also means giving yourself the tools to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships, based on reality and not on unattainable ideals.

So, why not start today? Freeing yourself from toxic patterns, learning to love yourself, and loving others in all their complexity is a journey worth taking. And if you feel like you need a little help to get there, don’t hesitate to consult a professional.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, and be happy... It starts here and now!
#BornToBeMe

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Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

Only LoveBen Howard
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Invalid date
Fix YouColdplay
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Beautiful DayU2
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Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
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White FlagDido
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Lay Me DownSam Smith
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Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
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Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
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Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
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Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
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Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
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Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
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What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
2:17
With Or Without YouU2
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HelloAdele
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Don't Stop Me NowQueen
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Skinny LoveBirdy
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WingsBirdy
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Californian SoilLondon Grammar
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