I Want My Parents To Be Proud Of Me—Why?

Because we crave recognition

Our parents brought us into this world, raised us, and gave us the life we have today. The bond we share with them is incredibly strong, and it's hard to shake off our role as "the child" when we're around them, whether we're 30, 40, or even 50 years old. Even though we know we’re adults, we often struggle to fully assert ourselves as such because of our deep need for their recognition. This need for validation starts in childhood, rooted in our desire for love 🥰. When we were young, our parents' approval was proof of their love. If we grew up feeling supported and surrounded by love, we’re generally able to break free from the constant need for approval. But if there were even small gaps in that support, we may have developed an emotional wound. This can make our relationship with our parents complex, as unresolved patterns from childhood tend to resurface 🤕.

Because we like to regress

Seeking our parents' approval is a form of emotional regression. Remember the good old days when we didn’t have responsibilities weighing us down or difficult decisions to make? 😫 It feels easier to ask our parents for their opinion so that, in a way, we don’t have to fully take responsibility for our own choices. Psychoanalyst Isabel Korolitski explains that this behavior is deeply rooted in childhood, when we relied on adults as guides because facing reality alone felt overwhelming 🤧.

However, constantly looking to our parents for validation can lead to a form of infantilization within the family 😅. Essentially, we signal to them that we're not mature enough to make decisions independently, which gives them permission to keep telling us what to do—even well into adulthood. Psychotherapist Gonzague Masquelier warns: “When I delegate to my parents the power to decide whether my life choices—be it love or career-related—are the right ones, I put myself in a fragile position that limits my freedom.”

Because we want to show our love

Navigating our relationship with our parents as adults isn’t always easy. One of the biggest challenges is moving beyond the classic parent-child dynamic, which can make communication difficult. Still, we want to maintain a strong bond with them and show that they’re still an important part of our lives.

It’s a mix of regression, seeking recognition, fear of disappointing them, and love. In many ways, we want to show them that they did a good job raising us. It’s like saying: “Be proud of what you’ve accomplished” ❤️.

Because we lack self-confidence

A deep need for validation—especially when extreme—can be a sign of low self-esteem, as explained by psychologist Catherine Marchi. Some parents are such strong authority figures that it feels incredibly difficult to stand up to them. We may feel like if we push back, we’re being disrespectful.

But there’s no such thing as perfect parents, and we absolutely have the right to trust in our own choices. It’s essential to stop putting parents on a pedestal and focus on ourselves 💪.

Because our parents are too demanding

Some parents place excessive demands on their children, projecting their own regrets and dreams onto them 🤯. This pressure can be overwhelming, especially if we have never dared to confront them about it.

>>> Read; Can you really cut ties with your family?

More to explore:

• My family dislikes my parent - What should I do?
• Do we have to love our parents? The answer is… No
• Fear is just an unmet need for security!