Can You Really Cut Ties With Your Family?

Last updated by Lauren Hart

“You either love your family or you leave them!” Ah, if it were that easy, but unfortunately, not everything in family relationships is black and white. And one of the hardest things to do is to just leave and cut ties with your family. Is this something that you can really do? Even though the answer varies from case to case and from situation to situation, we can try to analyze and ask ourselves whether we can end a family relationship, as we can with all other relationships!

Can You Really Cut Ties With Your Family?

Yes, it is possible to cut ties with your family!

Of course, it’s possible to cut ties with toxic parents and an unloving family. Obviously, I’d say that we need to take a step back before doing so by putting into words the suffering that the family relationship is causing us. Admittedly, it’s never easy to enter into a confrontation, at least for me who always had trouble communicating with my parents 😅. However, it’s not because family is a sacred value in our society that we should suffer in silence 🤐.

Saying what’s wrong

We must therefore act and put into words what doesn’t suit us. It’s better to use non-violent communication because we may be blamed for our own actions. We may be consumed by our remorse, and we’ll feel like we’ve been a toxic person who doesn’t listen to the emotions of others. Nevertheless, depending on the situation and the spitefulness of your family, you’re entitled to feel angry, no 🤷‍♀️? Well, sure, there are solutions like family therapy, but some people completely refuse to get help. What’s the point of staying around if no one wants to improve the situation 🙅‍♀️?

Distancing yourself for YOUR OWN GOOD

We often hear that family is unconditional love that allows us to forgive everything. We have every right to disagree, there are things that are unforgivable, such as psychological or even physical violence. Some people are even rejected for having revealed a family secret that brought this type of behavior to light. It’s therefore normal to cut ties, you have to do it for your own good. There will be people who will say that it’s selfish to put yourself first, but there are cases where it’s simply a matter of preserving your mental health 😖.

Spot certain behaviors to distance yourself. Your family shouldn’t 🚫:

  • Be hypocritical,
  • Judge and comment on what you do,
  • Put you down,
  • Be jealous of you,
  • Only think of themselves (be selfish),
  • Manipulate you,
  • Try to control your life,
  • Make your life stressful.

Saving the family unit…

When others are toxic to you, and you’ve done everything you can to change things, then yes, the best solution is to cut all ties. However, it’s all very well to say that, but sometimes it’s not really possible. A family is made up of people who are connected by the same past and who have the desire to maintain this union. There are therefore times when some people intervene to make sure that the break-up doesn’t happen ⚡.

The role of others

It happened to me a few years ago, with my jealous sister. I had told her some home truths after one of her many antics, but she told me some as well. This obviously created a lot of resentment, and I told myself that I never wanted to see her again. Nevertheless, our close ones and our parents did everything they could to bring us back together. It didn’t really work, but over time things have calmed down. We avoided cutting ties, but if we didn’t have the same blood and people gravitating toward us, I’m sure we wouldn’t be talking today 😅.

👉 No matter how much we want to get away, some people will do anything to keep the family unit together, even if it means coming to get us...

Ambivalent emotions

Staying with the shades of gray I mentioned in the introduction, this ambivalence can also be embodied in our emotions 🌪️. When we’re in a situation where there has been no violence, it’s difficult to know whether the break-up will do us more harm than good. Certainly, you may feel resentful, but once you’ve moved away, you may realize that you miss those who form your roots. Family break-ups cause as much pain as relief in some cases, and you realize that, in the end, it wasn’t the right solution...

>>> Read; Do we have to love our parents?

Beware of bad influences

There are also situations where we can be blinded 😞. Blinded by the love we have for someone outside our family circle, which will change our view of those around us. Psychologist Catherine Marchi explains that the decision to cut ties with our family should never be influenced by a third party. Everyone judges according to their own value system, but there are also people who are manipulators. This is the case with narcissistic perverts who will do anything to isolate you from those you love. This is a way of having more influential power over you, so beware 😱!

So what decision should you make?

In short, it’s possible to cut ties with your family, but it depends on the situation and your emotions... It is very difficult to assess whether this is something that you can do and that you have the right to do for your own good. You often need to get help to be able to take into consideration all aspects of the family relationship. If you can’t do therapy with your family, maybe the solution is to do it alone 🤕? This can only help, especially when you have a complicated past and dysfunctional family relationships. The solution to whether you can truly cut ties with your own family is there in any case...

>>> Discover; I was a victim of parental bullying

Editor’s note: Blood ties don’t excuse anything

Sometimes the situation is such that the only way to protect yourself is to cut ties. Blood ties don’t permit or excuse everything. It’s perfectly possible to cut ties and be better off. However, this always causes an emotional upheaval and can bring back violent memories, which is why it is worthwhile to get help. Don’t hesitate to make an appointment with a psychologist if you feel the need.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!


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Article presented by Lauren Hart

Writing is a beautiful means of expression that I cannot do without. It has allowed me to channel my hypersensitivity, plus I love writing about psychology and personal development. For me, self-understanding is the best way to move forward!

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Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist


  1. Only LoveBen Howard
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  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
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  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
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How to detect a narcissist?

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