7 things I gain now that I no longer compare myself to others
1. I stop living an illusion
Reflecting an image of a perfect life? Easy! No one is stupid enough to share an unflattering photo in a swimming costume or to talk proudly about their latest argument with their partner. As a result, I get the impression that certain things are no longer part of real life. And yet, just because people don’t talk about certain scourges doesn’t mean they don’t exist. I, too, can go on holiday to Saint-Tropez and fail to mention the loan I’ve just started.
Social media can be an obstacle to happiness. In real life, I flee from people who make me feel bad. Behind my screen, I do the same and I don’t hesitate to unsubscribe. Read why Instagram filters are so harmful to our confidence.
2. I put things into perspective
A person’s success or happiness isn’t proportional to what we see on the outside (but more to their values and the serenity they inspire). As a simple bystander, I don’t know what’s in other people’s heads or what happens in their homes behind closed doors, so I stop inventing a life for them that’s better than mine and tell myself that everyone has their own path and experiences. 🤔 By the way, isn’t there an inferiority complex behind this?
3. I stop depending on them
My neighbor sold his Twingo for a BMW. I need another car if I’m going to save my reputation! My cousin put on 10kg after a break-up, so I won’t be ashamed to wear a bikini this summer! Before, what I had or how I felt depended on other people. Now that I’m no longer chained to them, I make my choices in consultation with me and me alone.
4. I save time and energy
I know when comparisons begin, but never when they end. There are so many things and so many people to analyze. And then it’s clear that there’s always someone better than you... you might as well get out of this vicious circle and stop wasting all that energy. Energy that can, by the way, be reused to highlight my qualities.
5. I no longer see myself as a loser
My subconscious isn’t very kind to me, I always focus on what’s wrong with me. Other people, on the other hand, were beautiful, strong, intelligent, and had an impeccable life path. What nonsense! Looking back over my life, I remembered that I too had achieved great things, things I could be proud of.
6. I’ve regained my self-confidence
The world would be a sad place if it consisted of an army of clones. And I, like everyone else, have something unique to say. Focusing on myself allows me to realize my qualities and, above all, the fact that I’m unique, and that’s just fine! Discovering I’m not perfect, so what?
7. I’m moving towards the best version of myself
It’s my life that matters, not anyone else’s. My only point of comparison is me, or rather, the person I was yesterday. So I can see where I’ve improved and how I can make further progress. So I can quickly become the master of my own self-esteem, the initiator of my own evolution.
Editor’s exercises: Regain confidenceBeing inspired by someone is the only reason to compare yourself. Don’t envy anyone! Easier said than done, because as the sociologist Leon Festinger says, this behavior is “a necessity for self-knowledge and progress”. Comparison isn’t harmful in itself; what is harmful is the belief that if we’re not at the top, we’re nothing. To remedy these limiting thoughts, we suggest three exercises:
- Reverse the roles and instead of comparing your faults with other people’s qualities, point out what you’re better at.
- Flatter yourself and give yourself at least 3 compliments a day. Don’t hesitate to say them out loud, why not in front of a mirror?
- Take stock and list your successes for the day, whether they’re big or small, they’ll make each day a real victory.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now! #BornToBeMe
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