Midlife Crisis: Between The Blues And Impulses

Last updated by Rosie Harlow

At first, it started with the walls. He was determined to change the color. Then he moved on to the furniture and inevitably we got to the big car. Once he had a new interior and 180 horsepower under the bonnet, my forty-year-old husband increasingly refused to get up in the morning to go to work. All of this is to say that a midlife crisis is crazy, but it doesn’t have to be a problem (especially when it stops)!

Midlife Crisis: Between The Blues And Impulses
Contents: 

The midlife crisis: one crisis among many

Why do we hear so much about midlife crises? Probably because it’s the basis for many comedies. However, over the course of our lives, we encounter many identity and existential crises linked to age, which make us question everything and ask ourselves a thousand questions. This is the case during adolescence, then later on between the ages of 25 and 30, and we may also experience one in our sixties. The difference between this crisis and all the others is that the midlife crisis occurs in the middle of our life, so it forces us to confront what we’ve done, in our past life, and what we can do, in our future life. From this can come frustration, and dissatisfaction, but also a real awareness of our own mortality 💀. Now we understand why it’s called a crisis!

>>> Read; Why am I so intolerant to frustration?

🤓
According to various studies, a midlife crisis occurs between the ages of 37 and 48, with a peak around the age of 47*. In practice, the critical moment is between 35 and 55. In fact, many people suffer from it on average at around 38 years of age.

An identity crisis as a prerequisite?

But it doesn’t necessarily affect everyone. No, really! There’s no need to stress about your approaching 40th birthday and those that follow, it really is possible to avoid this identity and existential crisis. It’s often said that this crisis occurs because we feel that we’re heading down a steep slope toward old age and death, and that we have nothing left to conquer. Career, child, married life, everything’s been done and there’s nothing left to achieve. Well, that may well not be the case for you. Hooray!

At 40, men and women are in the same boat

It’s often said that for women, the midlife crisis takes on the appearance of empty nest syndrome combined with a desire for personal accomplishment and self-dedication. On the other hand, for men, there’s more of a need for recognition. They’d like to feel more valued in their careers and reassure themselves of their ability to seduce. But let’s avoid clichés and gender stereotypes. The midlife crisis is above all a question of personality, self-confidence, and personal satisfaction. More important than gender-related needs is the ability to listen to yourself and understand how you feel and what you need.

Am I suffering from a midlife crisis?

If you’re in your 40s and not feeling great, you may think you’re in the middle of a midlife crisis. So here are the symptoms and signs that may alert you:

It’s the blues!

  • You feel that nobody understands you
  • You’re unsatisfied with your personal life, your work, or both
  • You often feel sad
  • You’re anxious and worried about the future
  • You suffer from sleep disorders
  • You have symptoms of depression
  • You feel lonely and oppressed
  • You can’t stand routine anymore
  • You ponder
  • You question yourself
  • Everyone annoys you, and you argue, especially with your partner.

On an impulse, hello regrets! What not to do

If you think you’re suffering from a midlife crisis, it’s important to focus on yourself. It’s a way to be more in tune with yourself and your desires, but also a way to take a step back and question yourself. Being totally honest with yourself is the only way to avoid making hasty, emotional decisions and paying for them long after you’re 40. Changing jobs, breaking up with your partner, moving to the other side of the world, these are all great plans, but they deserve deep thought 💭. Act with reason and not just out of dissatisfaction.

So what do I do with this crisis?

The midlife crisis is a difficult process to go through, but it can be overcome and you can even emerge victorious 💪!

- The first step in dealing with the crisis is to accept, acknowledge and express what you’re feeling. Talk to your friends, meditate, engage in artistic activities, or start therapy with a psychologist to explore your feelings and make peace with your emotions. Communicating and surrounding yourself is a way to feel heard, and supported, but also to progress in your introspection.

- Secondly, it can be interesting to use the dissatisfaction you feel to set new goals. Without making any hasty and reckless decisions, you can still think about how to live a life more in tune with yourself. Considering everything you can do will help you to stop feeling like you’re on a downward slope and instead bounce back.

Midlife crisis

Whatever happens, take your time, there’s no rush, give yourself breaks and listen to yourself.

Does it go away the same way it came?

Studies say that the average midlife crisis lasts between 2 and 3 years, but in fact, it varies a lot, each one goes at his own pace. It can be more or less long, depending on the means put in place to get better, and the solutions found to our problems.

Ultimately, a midlife crisis can be a difficult time of life, but it can also be an opportunity for personal growth and positive transformation 😄. By acknowledging the feelings you’re experiencing, finding new goals and working on yourself and on more positive relationships in your life, it’s possible to overcome a midlife crisis and find new meaning and direction in life.

Editor’s note: Listen to the message

A midlife crisis is above all a message from our subconscious. We question ourselves, we take stock, we’re halfway through, and it’s a crisis if we realize that our life doesn’t suit us or doesn’t anymore. This crisis is an opportunity to realign with ourselves, our desires, and our needs, provided we know how to listen to the message. And as it’s not always easy, and we’d like to give up everything on a whim, make an appointment with a psychologist to take stock.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Rosie Harlow

Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow.

Our most popular psychology articles:

Insights into a narcissist's brain:

What Is The Narcissistic Stare? - 5 Reasons Why They Glare 👀

Narcissists have a reputation for being amongst the most manipulative people out there, and rightly so! The truth is, these people are so good at the evil things they do because they operate under the radar and use covert methods to exercise their depraved missions. Now, one of the biggest and seemingly most unsuspecting techniques they use to manipulate and control their victims is staring. You're no doubt a little dubious about a stare being an effective tool in the art of manipulation, but it's true, a void and menacing look is one of the most intimidating and unnerving gestures that these folks turn to.

8 Reasons Why All Narcissists Are Hypocrites

If you know anything about narcissists, you'll surely be aware that they are extremely overly judgmental and critical, especially towards other people. Their faultfinding stems from their perception of ultimate superiority, and therefore legitimizes them in holding people to intimidatingly high standards 👑. However, although they may believe they are pretty much perfect, the reality couldn't be any more different, yet they are slightly more forgiving with themselves. That's right, they are huge hypocrites and go from one extreme to another in a split second. Here we discuss the reasons behind their hypocritical behavior.

Do Narcissists Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control 😨. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

How Long Will A Narcissist Rebound Relationship Last?

Narcissist rebound relationships generally last anywhere from 6-months to a year. Now, whilst the timeframe depends on each individual, these twisted personalities usually head into these relationships with a plan in mind, meaning they know exactly when and where they'll break things off. Plus, when they are in the final stages of a relationship with you, they are no doubt in the process of grooming their next victim. That's right, the need for a constant narcissistic supply means that they aren't likely to date any one person for an extensive period of time. For them, they require fresh blood every 6-months or so because they simply get bored. Let's take a look at the reasons why they keep their rebounds short, but not so sweet.

How Do Narcissistic People Treat Their Children?

Growing up with narcissistic parents is certainly no easy feat, because, let's face it, people with this disorder are unsympathetic, selfish, manipulative, egotistical, and dishonest, yes, that's right, these traits aren't exactly those showcased by the parents of the year. Realistically, these folks simply don't have the basic qualities required to become good parents, which is why, when they choose to have a family, things often spin out of control, and the narcissistic abuse undoubtedly crushes children's mental health.

How To Stop Being A Narcissist

Whilst many narcissists would never dream of changing their ways, those with a less severe form of this personality disorder are more likely to alter their ways. Now, many of us, and probably rightly so, tend to believe that narcissists are completely devoid of any empathy and that they are rigid and domineering by nature, but that’s not to say they can’t work towards being better people. After all, change IS certainly possible when you want it, and especially when you are willing to work for it. Admittedly, no one can just switch off their narcissistic button within themselves, but they can do things to be better.

What Phrases Do Narcissists Say? - 20 Crushing Statements

Narcissists are known for having a certain way with words, these folks certainly use this talent to their advantage, that's to say, to sink their teeth into their victims. Now, these calculating crooks don't use their gift of the gab to build people up, no, of course, they don't! Instead, the opposite is true, they use their smoothness to tear down their victims, destroy their confidence, and isolate them from their loved ones, all whilst brainwashing them and pretending to be the real victim. Wow, I don't know about you, but to me, that seems like a lot of work! Now, as skillful narcissists are, they can't completely dissimulate their true intentions and at points, their tongue betrays them, as you'll soon see in the following quotes. Here's what they typically say to bring people down...

What Happens When The Narcissist Knows You've Figured Them Out

Dealing with a narcissist is never simple because let's face it, these folks aren't exactly the most reasonable or stable people around. Now, due to the fact that they are quite simply obsessed with being in control and particularly concerned with how they are perceived, they don't exactly take being exposed very well. Indeed, once they realize that you are on to them and have sussed out their behavior, they become very vindictive and plunge their victims into a further world of pain. Here are 10 things they often do when the jig is up.

10 Reasons Why You'll Get No Closure With A Narcissist

Narcissists have a reputation for being nightmare exes, and their toxic behavior following a breakup really does reinforce this idea. Being dumped doesn't really go down well with these folks, which explains why they'll do everything in their power to prevent their ex, or should I say victim, from moving on. Closure isn't an easy thing to obtain upon walking away from a toxic relationship, and here are 10 reasons why.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:15
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist?

How to detect a narcissist?


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde