Midlife Crisis: Between The Blues And Impulses

Last updated by Rosie Harlow

At first, it started with the walls. He was determined to change the color. Then he moved on to the furniture and inevitably we got to the big car. Once he had a new interior and 180 horsepower under the bonnet, my forty-year-old husband increasingly refused to get up in the morning to go to work. All of this is to say that a midlife crisis is crazy, but it doesn’t have to be a problem (especially when it stops)!

Midlife Crisis: Between The Blues And Impulses

The midlife crisis: one crisis among many

Why do we hear so much about midlife crises? Probably because it’s the basis for many comedies. However, over the course of our lives, we encounter many identity and existential crises linked to age, which make us question everything and ask ourselves a thousand questions. This is the case during adolescence, then later on between the ages of 25 and 30, and we may also experience one in our sixties. The difference between this crisis and all the others is that the midlife crisis occurs in the middle of our life, so it forces us to confront what we’ve done, in our past life, and what we can do, in our future life. From this can come frustration, and dissatisfaction, but also a real awareness of our own mortality 💀. Now we understand why it’s called a crisis!

>>> Read; Why am I so intolerant to frustration?

According to various studies, a midlife crisis occurs between the ages of 37 and 48, with a peak around the age of 47*. In practice, the critical moment is between 35 and 55. In fact, many people suffer from it on average at around 38 years of age.

An identity crisis as a prerequisite?

But it doesn’t necessarily affect everyone. No, really! There’s no need to stress about your approaching 40th birthday and those that follow, it really is possible to avoid this identity and existential crisis. It’s often said that this crisis occurs because we feel that we’re heading down a steep slope toward old age and death, and that we have nothing left to conquer. Career, child, married life, everything’s been done and there’s nothing left to achieve. Well, that may well not be the case for you. Hooray!

At 40, men and women are in the same boat

It’s often said that for women, the midlife crisis takes on the appearance of empty nest syndrome combined with a desire for personal accomplishment and self-dedication. On the other hand, for men, there’s more of a need for recognition. They’d like to feel more valued in their careers and reassure themselves of their ability to seduce. But let’s avoid clichés and gender stereotypes. The midlife crisis is above all a question of personality, self-confidence, and personal satisfaction. More important than gender-related needs is the ability to listen to yourself and understand how you feel and what you need.

Am I suffering from a midlife crisis?

If you’re in your 40s and not feeling great, you may think you’re in the middle of a midlife crisis. So here are the symptoms and signs that may alert you:

It’s the blues!

  • You feel that nobody understands you
  • You’re unsatisfied with your personal life, your work, or both
  • You often feel sad
  • You’re anxious and worried about the future
  • You suffer from sleep disorders
  • You have symptoms of depression
  • You feel lonely and oppressed
  • You can’t stand routine anymore
  • You ponder
  • You question yourself
  • Everyone annoys you, and you argue, especially with your partner.

On an impulse, hello regrets! What not to do

If you think you’re suffering from a midlife crisis, it’s important to focus on yourself. It’s a way to be more in tune with yourself and your desires, but also a way to take a step back and question yourself. Being totally honest with yourself is the only way to avoid making hasty, emotional decisions and paying for them long after you’re 40. Changing jobs, breaking up with your partner, moving to the other side of the world, these are all great plans, but they deserve deep thought 💭. Act with reason and not just out of dissatisfaction.

So what do I do with this crisis?

The midlife crisis is a difficult process to go through, but it can be overcome and you can even emerge victorious 💪!

- The first step in dealing with the crisis is to accept, acknowledge and express what you’re feeling. Talk to your friends, meditate, engage in artistic activities, or start therapy with a psychologist to explore your feelings and make peace with your emotions. Communicating and surrounding yourself is a way to feel heard, and supported, but also to progress in your introspection.

- Secondly, it can be interesting to use the dissatisfaction you feel to set new goals. Without making any hasty and reckless decisions, you can still think about how to live a life more in tune with yourself. Considering everything you can do will help you to stop feeling like you’re on a downward slope and instead bounce back.

Midlife crisis

Whatever happens, take your time, there’s no rush, give yourself breaks and listen to yourself.

Does it go away the same way it came?

Studies say that the average midlife crisis lasts between 2 and 3 years, but in fact, it varies a lot, each one goes at his own pace. It can be more or less long, depending on the means put in place to get better, and the solutions found to our problems.

Ultimately, a midlife crisis can be a difficult time of life, but it can also be an opportunity for personal growth and positive transformation 😄. By acknowledging the feelings you’re experiencing, finding new goals and working on yourself and on more positive relationships in your life, it’s possible to overcome a midlife crisis and find new meaning and direction in life.

Editor’s note: Listen to the message

A midlife crisis is above all a message from our subconscious. We question ourselves, we take stock, we’re halfway through, and it’s a crisis if we realize that our life doesn’t suit us or doesn’t anymore. This crisis is an opportunity to realign with ourselves, our desires, and our needs, provided we know how to listen to the message. And as it’s not always easy, and we’d like to give up everything on a whim, make an appointment with a psychologist to take stock.

🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!


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Article presented by Rosie Harlow

Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow.

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  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

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"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde