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Getting it all off your chest at work
Work occupies a considerable part of our lives. It is unavoidable as we have to earn enough to live đŹ. Weâve never been told so much to love what we do. Today, work must be a factor of fulfillment where we wouldnât have to force ourselves into a set role. Is that really so?
Sensitive information
Yes, but hereâs the thing: the working world doesnât want to deal with your emotions. You canât just get it all off your chest, as you would with a friend or family, being 100% transparent about all aspects of your life đ€. Especially as you may encounter toxic managers and coworkers who wonât hesitate to use the information you give about your private life to get you into trouble later. The professional world is so competitive that you need to learn to be wary until you know people more intimately đ.
đ Iâm not saying that you canât talk about yourself at work at all. Indeed, strong friendships can be made in the professional world. Some people have a friend or even a best friend at work! However, you need to know who to give certain information to.
Pressure from above
Expressing yourself about your life and your passions is a way of showing who you are and releasing pressure, but not all superiors like it. Indeed, if you work in a traditional company with a rather rigid vertical management, this wonât be viewed in a positive light. After all, for these kinds of superiors, youâre there to be productive, not to express yourself đ .
Nevertheless, our job takes up a lot of our time, and wearing a mask can be stifling. This leads to awkward situations where our emotions end up overflowing, which can cause us to cry at work. So how can you express your personality if you canât be spontaneous? How can you be yourself at work đ§?
Applying reflective authenticity
Itâs important to express our authenticity and personality at work, after all, we arenât machines đ€. However, itâs always tricky to strike a balance between being 100% ourselves as we are with our loved ones, and a colder, more distant personality wearing a mask. This is why the clinical psychologist Bruno Lefebvre talks about âreflective authenticityâ where itâs necessary to:
- Identify our emotions, especially negative ones,
- Manage our emotions by taking a step back from the situation,
- Analyze our environment to know whether we can express our emotions (and to whom).
This is a very different process from full disclosure, which prevents you from being too spontaneous (and perhaps embarrassing for your superiors) at work. This can be a complex exercise, especially if you are hypersensitive. However, it enables you to avoid reacting hastily, while at the same time allowing your true personality to shine through.
The two limits to watch out for
Even with these essential steps in mind, there are two limits to reflective authenticity at work, explains Bruno Lefevre.
đ Donât fall short
Your authenticity shouldnât be a weakness to a colleague or the work group. Just because you want to show yourself as you are doesnât mean that you have to cause harm around you. This is also the case even when you have a difficult colleague to deal with and your emotions are ready to explode. There are ways to gain respect at work naturally, and you shouldnât hesitate to apply these techniques rather than becoming disrespectful and shouting horrible things at your colleague (yes, even if they deserve it đ ).
đ Recognize your right to make mistakes
Lastly, whatever happens, you need to be kind to yourself and recognize your right to make mistakes. Did you end up losing it in the office? Well, it happened and thereâs no point beating yourself up about it. Itâs okay to make mistakes, the important thing is to acknowledge them and not to feel so guilty that you put yourself down. Itâs better to face up to the situation and apologize, explaining what led you to behave in this way đ€.
Being yourself at work is never easy, it requires continuous, sometimes delicate work. However, itâs better to exercise a measured self than to end up dropping the mask and exploding đ!
Editorâs note: Itâs all about balance!As always, thereâs a balance to be found, you canât play a role for 8 hours a day, but you canât show too much either, at the risk of it being detrimental to you. The ideal is to have a job that fits your personality, creative jobs for the most creative, etc. What about you? Do you feel like youâre playing a role in the office? Do you feel like youâre saying too much, or are you perfectly comfortable? Tell us all about it in the comments! And if you feel bad, lost, or that you donât fit in, donât hesitate to contact a coach. Over the course of the sessions, theyâll make you aware of the resources within you and how to make the most of them. đ€ Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... Itâs here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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