From their lack of empathy to their scarily manipulative and controlling streak, narcissists arguably display despicable behavior that simply can’t be condoned. Once these people get their claws into a victim, they become ruthless and have absolutely no regard for the effects their behavior may have on their mental health. Now, as with many syndromes, nothing is black and white with these types of personality disorders. In fact, there are certainly many inaccurate theories regarding their relationship with remorse regarding their actions, and that’s why I’m here to set the record straight.
If you or anyone you know has ever had the misfortune of being involved with a narcissist, you’ll be able to attest to their lack of guilt and unwillingness to admit their mistakes. Indeed, these folks premeditate their actions and meticulously plot other people’s demise, which means that they initially disregard feelings of guilt and sympathy. After all, for such coldblooded and ruthless personalities to be able to spread their venom, they need to be loosely attached to the concept of regret. The bottom line is, their brains seem to be wired differently, which means they find it impossible to sympathize with others and to understand their emotions and why they could potentially be hurt or offended. In fact, when they are called upon to face the consequences of their actions, they brush off the gravity of the situation and simply continue to go about their business.
>>> Discover what narcissists want in a relationship
As someone who has previously been in a relationship with a fully-fledged narcissist, I can definitely confirm that one of the factors which holds them back from apologizing is their pride. Of course, those that suffer from this personality disorder place such importance on putting on the perfect facade, that they associate regret with weakness. Even if they did feel a smudge of guilt towards their victims, they’d never admit it because they constantly believe they are right and would be truly horrified at the thought of their so-called admirers seeing them as feeble.
In my own experience, I am unable to recall my ex ever showing an ounce of compassion or repentance for anything he put me through during our 2-year-long relationship. He never once took it upon himself to utter the word sorry for insulting me, yelling at me, or even spying on me. At the time, and even now as I'm looking back, this, therefore, led me to believe that there are little to no circumstances in which sufferers of NPD would be ashamed of their harmful actions.
A narcissist's worst nightmare is losing control over their victims because this would ultimately threaten their whole persona and existence. Their desperation to preserve their power means that they will happily say anything in order to keep their victims on their side, including pretending to be sorry and promising they can change in the future. Although it can be hard to look past their charismatic personality and charming promises, it is important to keep in mind that they’ll never change and don’t have the willpower to improve on their innate traits.
No narcissist likes to be wrong. In a conflict, they will always manage to turn the situation around in order to be right, but also and especially to make you out to be wrong. No matter what they have done or what they might be blamed for, others are always guilty of forcing them to behave that way. In short, nothing is ever their fault, and this is how they get ahead, by systematically projecting their faults onto others, without ever taking responsibility.
As a result, everything will always be your fault. This is particularly noticeable in the professional environment, where the narcissistic personality at work will tend to take no responsibility for the mistakes made by their employee. Even if the latter tries to explain that they did not have all the necessary information or that they simply carried out the orders given, nothing will be done, the error will inevitably turn against him.
The narcissist also tends to victimize himself in order to manipulate, especially if he is blamed for something. These personalities will not hesitate to talk about their difficult past and the suffering they have endured in order to make people feel sorry for them. They regularly pose as a victim to avoid being seen as the victimizer they really are.
As a result, their victims will be denigrated and/or accused of having hurt them deeply. They may also frequently accuse you of hurting them, of not understanding them. For them, only their own suffering is legitimate. Victimizing themselves in order to manipulate is also a way for them to control the image they project and to make themselves appreciated by those around them, because the narcissist has a compelling need to show that he is special. Thus, their suffering spread out in front of everyone's eyes allows them to say "look, despite all the injustice I suffer, I'm getting by". This technique not only allows them to be in the spotlight, but also to question your status as a real victim.
Editor’s opinion — Narcissistic regret is a concept that doesn’t existNow, I don’t want to demonize people with this personality disorder, but it’s crucial to know what they are capable of in order to avoid falling into their trap. If you believe that someone in your entourage is suffering from this personality disorder, the best and safest solution is to cut ties with them, whilst encouraging them to seek professional help. 🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now! #BornToBeMe |
Be sure to check out these articles too:
Article presented by Katie M.
🌻 Discover the world through my eyes.
Life is full of unexpected things. Sometimes we have nice surprises, sometimes we experience traumatic events. The latter can lead to what we call an “adjustment disorder”. I experienced this when my mother died. The shock was so immense that I couldn’t cope anymore. If you feel like you’re going through a very difficult period after a shock, you may also be affected by adjustment disorder. Let’s talk about it.
Getting involved in a romantic relationship can bring back many painful memories, which may prevent you from experiencing new things in your emotional life. Fear of loving, committing, being abandoned, feeling betrayed, suffering: these are all ideas that can fuel your fears. Here’s our advice on how to overcome this fear of relationships, also known as philophobia. Let me explain.
In the dating world, there’s a word for everything. That’s how I came to learn the name of something very unpleasant that happened to me several years ago. I’d been on a few Tinder dates, things were going well, but from one day to the next I’d heard nothing. I wasn’t in love, so it was fine. However, I found it hard to move on, because he couldn’t stop looking at my Instagram stories and following me keenly... It’s called orbiting. Why do this? How do you react to this behavior?
Crying in front of an advert? Done ✅. Being disturbed by the slightest noise? Of course ✅. Not being able to deal with negative emotions? Sure ✅. All hypersensitive people experience this on a daily basis. At least, I do. Yes, I’m part of team emotions! It’s already difficult for me, so when I’m in a relationship, I know my partner’s lost. So I’ve written a little guide to help people who live with a hypersensitive person on a daily basis.
I’m one of those people who doesn’t put work at the center of my life. On the other hand, I have a friend who does, to the point where her body gives out regularly. Clearly, her work is her raison d’être and she gives everything. Perhaps a little too much. That’s why I wanted to write this article, to remind her to be careful! Maybe it will help you too, especially if you feel that your career’s taking up all the space in your life.
“Which folder do I need to put these videos in again? And how does it work to do the videos? Can you help me? I’m really struggling...”. I think we’ve all encountered these words and this kind of situation at work. Sometimes people really are lost, sometimes you get the feeling that they’re lacking motivation and that they just don’t want to do it. And that’s precisely what strategic incompetence is. Why is this a problem? I’ll explain all.
Imagine you’re having breakfast, you’re heating up your tea or coffee, and you get the urge to toast some bread. Everything’s going well, you sit down at the table and butter your toast. Then all of a sudden, clumsily, the toast falls to the floor. Obviously, it falls on the wrong side, the butter side, and picks up all the dust and hairs lying around on the tiles. YUM! But it seems that it’s not all bad that the sandwich falls on this side... Let’s explain!
Love is such an unpredictable journey that it gives the perfect cover for emotionally abusive partners to hide behind masks of perfect Mr. Darcy-like characters. Now, let's face it, no devious manipulator enters a relationship by showing their true colors. In the beginning, they make for caring and supportive partners, that is, until they've got you completely hooked. Once they believe you are sufficiently spellbound by them, they'll put their despicable plan of emotional abuse into play, and their victims won't suspect a thing before it's too late. Signs of emotional mistreatment aren't always easy to pick up on, however, these types of partners do have a common modus operandi.
"Love stories usually end badly." As you know as well as Les Rita Mitsoukos, love isn’t a direct path to eternity. Sometimes it disappears from our hearts, leaving a great emptiness, if not fierce hatred. That’s when it’s time to say goodbye, and a letter can sometimes be the most effective way of saying exactly how you feel and explaining why you’re leaving. Here are 6 examples of farewell letters, to say goodbye, ciao, or bye-bye to a loved one, but also to a friend or, more sadly, to a loved one who has died.
I always thought that I was surrounded by people who loved their jobs, that is until I started openly talking about how much I hate working. Let’s get one thing straight, I’ve never liked my job, but have only recently built up the courage to talk about it. That's right, I used to hide my despair under a huge smile in an effort to convince myself I was overreacting, plus I was also afraid of other people judging me. In fact, daring to share my thoughts got me asking if I was the problem; was I the black sheep? Or, were my reasons for this bold statement justified? It's time to see if are all secretly on the same wavelength.
