Passive Aggressive Phrases You Don’t Want To Hear Anymore

What we don’t want to hear anymore from our family

For some families, sniping at each other over Sunday lunch is a national sport 😅. It’s often indirect criticism that makes us feel guilty. Clearly, it’s not very respectful, and it usually comes from the mouths of grandparents, parents, in short the older generations. When you hear this all day long, you just want to cut all ties with your family 🤐!

• 👉 “Oh, you’ve finally graced us with your visit!”: This kind of phrase will have the opposite effect to one intended, the people on the receiving end will be even less inclined to come...
• 👉 “You’ve put on weight, haven’t you?”: Among family, comments about looks are common, but you’ve got to stop projecting your own insecurities onto others!
• 👉 “You’ll end up an old maid/bachelor!”: Each to his own pace and choices, and no one, not even family, should comment on that.
• 👉 “I wouldn’t have done that if I were you...”: It works for everything, whether it’s your studies, your career or the mixed salad at your last meal. Imposing your vision of things, whatever the field, is a no-no!

👋 You may be interested in this article: How to recognize passive-aggressive behavior

What we don’t want to hear anymore at work

I’ve already written an article on what not to say at work, but of course there are countless nonsense things that can be said in the office. Indeed, it’s a clear sign of the atmosphere there may be in a company… It spreads insidiously, like a poison, so if you hear these types of phrases, get out:

• 👉 “Have you taken the afternoon off?”: This one’s my favorite. The important thing is to have finished your work, not to fill your hours, right?
• 👉 “Unless I’m mistaken...”: We messed up and the other person loves to remind us, especially when everyone else is in the email loop.
• 👉 “I’m sure you can do better”: We’re made to realize that we’ve done something sh*t and that we’ll have to start again. Gratifying, isn’t it?
• 👉 “I’ve got no time for that”: Ah, team spirit, that’s great! We soon realize that our tasks, our work, even us as a person, aren’t important enough for the person who said this.

What we don’t want to hear anymore in a relationship

Ah, love... It’s beautiful, it’s sweet, it’s tender. Well, not always. We know that communication is one of the secrets to a happy relationship, but sometimes negative emotions and day-to-day life weigh more heavily in the balance than affection. If you want to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship with your partner, you shouldn’t use phrases like these:

• 👉 “Good, I see you’ve done the dishes, the housework, the laundry (insert the relevant activity)”: Of course, we say this sentence when something hasn’t been done, and we want to make a barbed reproach. Instead, we can just say that we would have liked the other person to do it, because it’s too much of a mental burden for us.
• 👉 “Haven’t you forgotten something there?”: In the same vein as the previous sentence, there’s an indirect reproach, but no need to play bad cop to get your message across.
• 👉 “Did you have to spend all that time with them?”: Whether it’s your in-laws or your friends, you shouldn’t tell your other half how to spend their time. However, you can say how it makes you feel!
• 👉 “Are you really going to wear that?”: Criticizing the other person’s look is rarely a good idea. Where did kindness go?

What we don’t want to hear anymore between friends

Unlike family, we choose our friends. However, that doesn’t mean it can protect us from a toxic relationship... No, there can also be problems in this type of relationship, even with the best friends in the world.

• 👉 “I thought you knew”: Either it’s a dig at you for not listening closely enough, or it’s just manipulation by omission, either way it sucks.
• 👉 “You don’t look very good”: Making a deduction based on appearance is rarely a good idea. If you’re worried, it’s better to ask directly how the person is!
• 👉 “Come on, it was so obvious”: In other words, this is a good way of saying that you’re wide of the mark!
• 👉 “You think it makes me happy to say that”: Obviously said after criticism. It’s gratuitous, but that doesn’t mean it has to be said.

That’s just a sample, but of course there are a whole host of phrases that can be problematic. In fact, as soon as you feel a negative emotion, like anger, shame or sadness, then it’s probably a passive-aggressive phrase 😕.

Be sure to read these articles too;

• I feel different to other people, is that a good thing?
• What is adjustment disorder?
• Do childhood traumas impacts us in adulthood?