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The value of anger
Anger is one of our primary emotions, so itās useful... if itās healthy because it also allows us to defend ourselves and to be respected. If you know how to get angry, with a reasonable amount of aggression, it also shows that youāre aware of yourself, and your value and that you know how to defend your integrity.
The first message to understand and hear when it comes to anger, like any other basic emotion, is that it shouldnāt be suppressed šÆļø. Indeed, suppressed anger isnāt anger thatās disappeared. Suppressed anger can turn against you, against the wrong outlet, or it can end up exploding out of all proportions. So letās talk about managing it. If anger occurs, thereās a good reason for it. So you have to feel it, control it and express your feelings. Because thatās the key: managing to express what you feel in order to feel better.
Expressing your anger through⦠written sentences
Iāve always written a lot, and Iāve always been angry a lot, but until I was a certain age, I never put the two together. When I was younger, I was the sulky type. When I got angry, Iād send out a few stinging sentences, and Iād shut myself up in long (very long) silence that created distance between me and my loved ones.
>>> To learn a bit more: Incessant sulking, the unbearable blackmail of silence...
The one that exploded in silence
And then one day, great anger came over me while I was at work. In a professional context, Iām the type of person who tends to avoid conflict. I couldnāt explode publicly, but it was impossible for me to stay quiet either. I was literally imploding. So I took out my notebook and wrote this:
šļø āA stormy day. You can feel the anger rising. The taste in your mouth is blood-red. Oh yes, you feel the shiver, your skin vibrating, your heart tearing through your skin, peeking out from under your t-shirt, trying to escape. And your hands tremble. When your body has no more use, when itās only a shell. Only the red remains and the voracious desire to bite jugulars. To finally become an animal again. To let go, to scream, to drink in cruelty. To keep control only to cause pain and to be alive at last.ā |
My heart was beating fast, I was shaking, I was absolutely furious. Once Iād written down everything I had to say, once Iād been able to express myself in the freest way possible, it was like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt better. As you can see, I have a taste for lyricism, but itās up to you to choose the tone and the words that suit you. Those that allow you to express yourself as openly as possible.
Today, I still write to express my anger often. Sometimes I keep the text to myself, and sometimes I send it š³. Itās also a way of starting a dialogue, saying whatās on your mind, and switching to positive communication.
Why write down your anger?
As with therapeutic writing, writing in the heat of the moment allows you to take a step back and consider your words. You, therefore, calm down, and you can get your message across with much more respect than when you just express yourself in the heat of the moment. It also allows you to be more precise and clearer and therefore avoid any misunderstandings. It also prevents stammering, sobbing, shouting, and anything else that hinders communication. Putting words to what you feel is also the best way of expressing your emotions and thus avoids letting frustration, anxiety, and resentment build up.
10 quotes to help you express your anger
- 1. āAnger is like an avalanche that breaks on what it breaks.ā Seneca
- 2. āWhen youāre angry, count to four. When youāre really angry, swear.ā Mark Twain
- 3. āWe'll take back life and without ever shutting up, weāll give you anger instead of contempt.ā Da Silva
- 4. āWords appease anger.ā Aeschylus
- 5. āHumor is almost always anger in disguise.ā Stephen King
- 6. āDonāt answer when youāre angry. Donāt make promises when youāre happy. Donāt make decisions when youāre sad.ā
- 7. āDonāt let the sun set on your anger.ā
- 8. āIn anger, the wise man thinks of his aftermath.ā Confucius
- 9. āThere are people who scream when they threaten. Anger clouds their feelings. There are others who talk without raising their voice, and what they say has more of an effect on you.ā Tahar Ben Jelloun
- 10. āThe more you carry the anger of the past, the less you enjoy the beautiful things today.ā
Editorās note: An emotion to listen toAnger is an interesting emotion, and it carries a message that we need to know how to hear. Itās an emotion like any other that runs through us, we need to know how to let it pass, how to listen to it, and how to re-transcribe it. Anger should never be stifled or swallowed, it should be analyzed and expressed. But itās also a particularly strong emotion that can make us do or say terrible things, which is why we need to know how to manage it. This work is often difficult, which is why you shouldnāt hesitate to contact a psychologist in order to take stock. Over the course of the sessions, youāll learn to manage it and to live in harmony with yourself and the outside world. š¤ Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... Itās here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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