It’s funny that this topic should have come up in the editorial department because lately, I’ve had a lot of “social snacking” situations that I’d probably have wanted to avoid before. And yet, I’ve found that it does me a world of good and makes my day. If you’ve never heard of “social snacking”, I’ll explain what it is and why it can make us truly happier.
You’ve probably already figured it out. A snack isn’t a real meal, but it fills a hole 🤤. And as the psychologist who coined the term, Sue Varma, explains, it’s about having little interaction with strangers. I’ll give you some examples I’ve experienced recently:
💬 It’s the compliment a stranger paid me on my dress,
💬 It’s the exchange I had about the weather with my neighbor,
💬 It’s the smile from the old man at the bakery.
We can therefore translate social snacking as the micro-exchanges or micro-connections we have with people we don’t know, throughout the day. Of course, these aren’t meant to replace deep ties, but they still have their importance 🤔.
Initially, Sue Varma relied on a study published in Sage Journals by fellow researchers, highlighting the fact that exchanges with strangers contribute to our happiness.
Indeed, even brief exchanges such as social snacking can shake us out of our solitary habits. It would be easy to say to ourselves that “yes, smiling at the baker isn’t a big deal” (it really is 😅), but clearly it’s not going to change our lives. At least, that’s what I used to think. However, we need to understand that exchanges like this make us more open-minded.
Before, I often felt attacked by others and didn’t want them to talk to me. It’s all the more difficult to get rid of this emotion when you’re a woman and have experienced harassment in the street. Apart from that, you need to work on deconstructing the prejudices you have about others 😕. I admit, I was a bit bitter and didn’t want to have any contact with people I didn’t have a connection with. I didn’t realize that it could change my day or even my life in general.
👋 You may be interested in this article: Examples of passive-aggressive phrases
Through interaction, we create a bond and this bond, however small, gives us a feeling of understanding the other person and belonging. It’s a way of sidelining our negative emotions and mistrust 👀. Of course, you don’t have to be kind to everyone. “Trust with skepticism” as Miguel Ruiz who wrote “The Toltec Agreements” would say.
Smile at the waiter, that’s a yes! Deciding to start a conversation with the dodgy guy who’s been following you for 20 minutes is a no...
You need to choose your moments and your interactions to create a pleasant social climate and get rid of the mistrust that’s often fuelled by our individualistic society. For me, it’s the fact that I’ve gone back to being single that has forced me to be more open and approachable. I realized that when I was in a relationship, I was quite closed off to myself and my habits. Now I meet a multitude of people, and I’ve even widened my social circle thanks to social snacking. Yes, it’s a great way to make new friends 🤗!
Indeed, that’s the beauty of social snacking. It’s a simple way, within everyone’s reach, of creating a bond that’s good for everyone 🥰!
Editor’s note - Quite a challenge!As Rosie explains, social snacking is cool because it’s a way of developing your self-confidence. When you see that you can create links through small exchanges, it’s really rewarding! However, it’s not easy talking to strangers. Fortunately, there’s a coach who can teach us how to deal with this type of situation so that we can have some great conversations. So don’t hesitate to try coaching if you feel it can help you! 🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now! #BornToBeMe |
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Rosie, Harlow
"Writing has always been a form of therapy for me. For as long as I can remember, I have always used paper as a punching bag. Get to know me, I am Rosie Harlow."
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