Help, Why Do I Attract Narcissists? 5 Reasons Why They Want To Date You 😱

Last updated by Katie M.

After a succession of dating disasters, I decided that it was time I took a step back to analyze the root of my consistent heartbreak. Being on the dating scene is tough, and meeting new people just isn’t as easy as they make it out to be. Although, that being said, meeting toxic monsters seems to be a lot less complicated, well at least for me, it seems that way, that’s right, I have a real talent for it. So, after deleting all of my apps and going on a dating hiatus for several months, I finally understand why I attract people with narcissistic personality disorders, who do nothing but break me down and subject me to narcissistic abuse.

Help, Why Do I Attract Narcissists? 5 Reasons Why They Want To Date You 😱
Contents:

Love is certainly a confusing concept, yet once we develop feelings for someone, noticing the red flags is definitely a challenge that I personally never seem to be able to master. Looking back on my last two romantic relationships, I noticed a pattern, and a terrifying one at that! There was certainly a strong correlation between the types of people my exes were. Plus, their behavior and sleazy ways left me in no doubt that they were both narcissists, although I was oblivious to this when I was actually with them. Their love bombing, manipulation and hidden abuse brainwashed me, and plunged me into a sequence of unhappy and mentally crushing relationships. Being subjected to the psychological abuse by my first partner left me vulnerable, and ensured I ran straight into the arms of the first guy who flattered me (my second ex). The only way to break the cycle of abuse was to understand why it was happening to me.

>>> Discover the personality types that narcissists target

5 Reasons why narcissists are attracted to me

Here’s why narcissists want to date me, and why they might want to be with you too…

1) I’m an empath

No matter the circumstance, I always want people to feel good about themselves and will do anything to make that happen. I am definitely a naturally sensitive person and often take on other people’s burdens and problems when I probably don’t need to, but hey, what can I do? I try to see the good in everyone, no matter what they have done previously. When I was a kid, my mom used to say that I loved healing the wounded, and I guess she was right, although, she didn’t specify that it would be to the detriment of my mental health. Narcissists regard empathy as a weakness, which is why I must have seemed like the perfect prey for my exes.

>>> Discover the confirmation signs you are an empath

2) My confidence issues

When I dated my first narcissistic partner, I started out as a confident career woman, who had lots of friends and a great social life. However, at the end of our relationship, I was a shadow of my former self, which is why I ended up repeating history with my second ex. All the put-downs, the criticism, and catty remarks broke my soul, to the point where I didn’t even recognize the person I’d become.

3) I'm lonely

After feeling constantly isolated and alienated from my loved ones, I wanted to find a connection; a real one. After my first breakup, I arguably should have been more aware of the dangers associated with these personalities, but in my defense, I wasn’t in good shape. I naively wanted someone to care for me, and someone to help me feel something again. The loneliness and disconnection resulted in me feeling numb, which made my downtrodden, yet pure heart a prize to grab.

4) I felt special (sometimes)

In my experience, I had gotten used to the compliments and the fancy dates at the start, and this inaccurate impression meant I was unable to acknowledge the red flags. Having a guy by my side who was so interested in me and my life was so flattering. It’s fair to say that being made to feel good about myself was a feeling I had soon got used to, despite the kindness not lasting long at all.

5) I struggle to set boundaries

As a natural people-pleaser, setting boundaries just isn’t in my DNA. Whether it’s with my partner or my friends, I’m simply incapable of keeping people at arm's length, which evidently opens the door for manipulative personalities. Not being able to speak my mind and say no to my loved ones may not seem like a bad thing, but this need to please often takes on extreme proportions and paradoxically ends with me feeling hurt.

Editor’s opinion — Healing from hidden abuse is tough

The road to recovery is a winding one, especially after a relationship with a confirmed narcissist. However, once you realize what you have been through and find the courage to walk away, I promise you that you’ll discover your old self. The person who loved having fun, the person who loved socializing, the person who was confident in what they have to offer. That old self!


🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Tinkerbell Syndrome

Brilliant, ambitious, perfectionist... These words correspond to some people, especially women, who suffer from “Tinkerbell” syndrome. But as in all fairy tales, there’s a dark side... Just like Peter Pan’s fairy, they try to impress and are perpetually unfulfilled, compulsively seductive, and even manipulative. Psychotherapist Sylvie Tenenbaum coined this term after noticing that some people were obsessed with appearances and success. Let’s explain.

Lack Of Sport

For many years, I was pretty good at sports: I went to the gym several times a week, I ran, and I swam. Even though I never took pleasure from it, I was aware that I had to be active, especially being overweight. However, since I finished my studies, there’s something I’ve been lacking horribly in order to do sports: time! And this is the case for many adults, as 95% of the 18 to 65-year-olds don’t do enough sport.

What Is Acrophobia?

I remember this suspension bridge in Northern Ireland, it was over the cliffs and the wind made it sway dangerously. It was impressive, but I thought I could get over it with no problem. Except that once I was on it, I realized that you could see the void through the planks. I was frozen on the spot by the fear, I couldn’t take another step. That day was when I realized I had acrophobia. What is it exactly? How do you develop a fear of heights? All will be explained.

How To Introduce Yourself At Work?

I’m not the best at introducing myself at work. I’m one of those shy people, so it’s always hard to reach out to others. However, I’ve improved over time and now know how to introduce myself at a new job! After all, if you’ve had a successful job interview, and you’ve been chosen, you shouldn’t ask yourself too many questions and be confident. Here are 8 tips that will help you make a splash when introducing yourself at work!

Are Narcissists Born Or Raised?

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Let’s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Does Revenge Really Do Us Any Good?

“Revenge is a dish best served cold.” I’ve always heard this expression, but cold or hot, does revenge really do any good? The desire for revenge overwhelms us when we suffer an injustice. It’s a primary reaction mechanism rooted in our unconscious. When we suffer, we want the other person to suffer too. Let’s see why this makes us feel good, but also why revenge can be dangerous for our mental well-being. All will be explained.

What Makes A Narcissist Panic?

Dealing with a narcissist is never an easy feat, but understanding what makes these toxic personalities tick is key to avoiding their poisonous grip. Now, although these folks like to make people believe they have everything together and are untouchable, the truth couldn't be any further from this false reality. Narcissists worry like just everyone else, and perhaps even more so because they are living behind a mask and are constantly stressed about being exposed. Although they want people to believe that they are strong and resilient, there are certain things that make them sweat and definitely keep them up at night. Discover the 5 things that send them into panic mode.

How To Turn Your Hypersensitivity Into A Strength

“Why are you crying again?” I’ve heard this question many times! It made me feel guilty because I had the impression that it wasn’t normal to be so sensitive. Indeed, when you’re hypersensitive, tears are a part of how you function. They help you to let out emotions that are too strong. This can be embarrassing depending on the situation you’re in, but you shouldn’t see it as a weakness. On the contrary! Hypersensitivity can be a strength if you accept it and channel it properly. Here’s how to turn your hypersensitivity into a strength.

How To Tell A Narcissist You Want A Divorce

If you are currently married to a narcissist and no longer want to continue your relationship, you may feel overwhelmed and no doubt a little trapped. Let’s face it, breaking up with someone is never simple, but the task is certainly even tougher when your spouse is a narcissist and is used to controlling you. Turning the tables on him and asking for a divorce will definitely throw him off track, but it is an essential step in you getting your freedom back, as well as reconnecting with the ‘old you’. It’s about time you started writing your new chapter, don’t you think? Find out how to get through this difficult time and how to break the news to him.

Green Flags, Or How To Know If This New Relationship Is Healthy

The beginning of a relationship is often a beautiful time. Discovering the other person, feeling desired, having stars in your eyes and butterflies in your stomach. But all that often masks an inner turmoil: doubts and the multitude of questions we ask ourselves. Have I found the right person? Can I fall in love without fear? What if it’s another toxic relationship? Making a commitment isn’t an easy thing, but now that we’ve learned to spot the red flags, so we don’t get made a fool of again, let’s take a look at the green flags. The good signs that give the green light to a beautiful story!

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to soothe an anxiety attack