Help, Why Do I Attract Narcissists? 5 Reasons Why They Want To Date You 😱

Last updated by Katie M.

After a succession of dating disasters, I decided that it was time I took a step back to analyze the root of my consistent heartbreak. Being on the dating scene is tough, and meeting new people just isn’t as easy as they make it out to be. Although, that being said, meeting toxic monsters seems to be a lot less complicated, well at least for me, it seems that way, that’s right, I have a real talent for it. So, after deleting all of my apps and going on a dating hiatus for several months, I finally understand why I attract people with narcissistic personality disorders, who do nothing but break me down and subject me to narcissistic abuse.

Help, Why Do I Attract Narcissists? 5 Reasons Why They Want To Date You 😱
Contents:

Love is certainly a confusing concept, yet once we develop feelings for someone, noticing the red flags is definitely a challenge that I personally never seem to be able to master. Looking back on my last two romantic relationships, I noticed a pattern, and a terrifying one at that! There was certainly a strong correlation between the types of people my exes were. Plus, their behavior and sleazy ways left me in no doubt that they were both narcissists, although I was oblivious to this when I was actually with them. Their love bombing, manipulation and hidden abuse brainwashed me, and plunged me into a sequence of unhappy and mentally crushing relationships. Being subjected to the psychological abuse by my first partner left me vulnerable, and ensured I ran straight into the arms of the first guy who flattered me (my second ex). The only way to break the cycle of abuse was to understand why it was happening to me.

>>> Discover the personality types that narcissists target

5 Reasons why narcissists are attracted to me

Here’s why narcissists want to date me, and why they might want to be with you too…

1) I’m an empath

No matter the circumstance, I always want people to feel good about themselves and will do anything to make that happen. I am definitely a naturally sensitive person and often take on other people’s burdens and problems when I probably don’t need to, but hey, what can I do? I try to see the good in everyone, no matter what they have done previously. When I was a kid, my mom used to say that I loved healing the wounded, and I guess she was right, although, she didn’t specify that it would be to the detriment of my mental health. Narcissists regard empathy as a weakness, which is why I must have seemed like the perfect prey for my exes.

>>> Discover the confirmation signs you are an empath

2) My confidence issues

When I dated my first narcissistic partner, I started out as a confident career woman, who had lots of friends and a great social life. However, at the end of our relationship, I was a shadow of my former self, which is why I ended up repeating history with my second ex. All the put-downs, the criticism, and catty remarks broke my soul, to the point where I didn’t even recognize the person I’d become.

3) I'm lonely

After feeling constantly isolated and alienated from my loved ones, I wanted to find a connection; a real one. After my first breakup, I arguably should have been more aware of the dangers associated with these personalities, but in my defense, I wasn’t in good shape. I naively wanted someone to care for me, and someone to help me feel something again. The loneliness and disconnection resulted in me feeling numb, which made my downtrodden, yet pure heart a prize to grab.

4) I felt special (sometimes)

In my experience, I had gotten used to the compliments and the fancy dates at the start, and this inaccurate impression meant I was unable to acknowledge the red flags. Having a guy by my side who was so interested in me and my life was so flattering. It’s fair to say that being made to feel good about myself was a feeling I had soon got used to, despite the kindness not lasting long at all.

5) I struggle to set boundaries

As a natural people-pleaser, setting boundaries just isn’t in my DNA. Whether it’s with my partner or my friends, I’m simply incapable of keeping people at arm's length, which evidently opens the door for manipulative personalities. Not being able to speak my mind and say no to my loved ones may not seem like a bad thing, but this need to please often takes on extreme proportions and paradoxically ends with me feeling hurt.

What personality type do narcissists hate?

Narcissists tend to dislike people who have a strong sense of self-worth and confidence, as these individuals are less likely to feed into the narcissist's need for constant validation and admiration. These manipulators often perceive such people as a threat to their own sense of superiority and may become jealous or resentful towards them. Additionally, they may dislike individuals who are assertive and have clear boundaries, as these traits can make it more difficult for the narcissist to manipulate and control them. Overall, narcissists tend to dislike people who possess qualities that challenge or threaten their own sense of superiority and control.

Editor’s opinion — Healing from hidden abuse is tough

The road to recovery is a winding one, especially after a relationship with a confirmed narcissist. However, once you realize what you have been through and find the courage to walk away, I promise you that you’ll discover your old self. The person who loved having fun, the person who loved socializing, the person who was confident in what they have to offer. That old self!

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too;

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Psychological Abuse: Identify It To Get Out Of It

A little belittling remark here, minimizing our emotions there... So many little things that show us that we’re being psychologically abused. It may seem trivial, but that’s the problem. We downplay it too much, which makes it the most common type of abuse. So, how do you identify psychological abuse? What should you do if you’re a victim? Let’s explain.

Behavioral Disorders: The List & Their Definitions

I suffer from an eating disorder, and several people around me have a mood disorder. I’m not completely unfamiliar with behavioral disorders, or at least not these. However, there are several types of disorders and they can even affect sexual behavior. So how do you define them? Here’s a list and some definitions related to behavioral disorders.

How Do Narcissists Behave Sexually?

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover how they behave in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

I Constantly Need Recognition

Ever since I was a child, I’ve felt like I do things according to others. My choices and my behavior have long been dictated by the approval of others. As I’ve got older, I’ve learned to assert myself and detach myself from what others might think of my actions. Why do we constantly seek this validation, and how can we get rid of this need for recognition when it becomes toxic? Having been there myself, I’ll explain it all to you!

How To Camouflage Your Cellulite At The Beach

You were well on your way. You were holding on, motivated by the idea of finally having a bikini body this year. But then the lockdowns and the laziness all hit you at once... That’s right, your cellulite is still there and not ready to leave just yet. But guess what?! Cellulite is like a little pimple, either we own it, or we resort to using tricks to camouflage it.

I Never Thought I’d Say This, But I Hate Working From Home…

Work has always been a synonym of repression for me because it takes up so much of our precious time. Let’s be honest, a 9-5 job with a horrendous daily commute often means that work is sadly our sole occupation. So, when the Covid-19 pandemic struck over a year ago, and we were all ordered to stay home, I found it hard to hide my joy in front of my distraught coworkers; although thankfully my acting talents saved me. You can probably already tell, but going into the office every day was nothing less than torture for me. Yet, all these months later, I’ve realized that I despise working from home and would do anything to sit in my uncomfortable office chair once again!

Do We Always Need To Have The Last Word?

Today, I’m focussing on a habit that drives me crazy: wanting to have the last word. It’s probably because I’m not very good at comebacks or self-confident enough that I’m both fascinated and annoyed by people who always want to be right. But why do they always want to have the last word? What’s behind it?

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say “in general” and not “normally”, because as an adult I don’t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamed… But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? It’s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nails…

Why Do Hugs And Physical Contact Make Me Feel Uncomfortable?

There are people who don’t like to be touched at all, and who are almost disgusted by physical contact. There are people who like to caress and be caressed for anything and everything, and there are people like me who always recoil when someone tries to touch them. Why do I shy away from physical contact? What if it’s all linked to the past?

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:19
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41


"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde


How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack