Health and safety crisis?
Far be it from me to highlight the benefits of a pandemic, but the imposed solitude may have sometimes suited some people. It seems that for a long time now, looking for love has no longer been a gentle stroll, but rather an obstacle course with all the stress and anxiety that it entails. While relationships still represent the climax of life, the goal to reach, on dating apps or in real life, the competition is stiff, even discouraging for some 😥.
Protected by lockdowns and social distancing, even if human warmth is missing, at least the race to find the ideal person has been put on pause. It’s because if you keep swiping right, you get exhausted trying to find something better. In the end, being alone protects you from a lot of disillusionment 👀!
FODA: the fear of contamination or dating anxiety
The first date in coronavirus times is no easy task and can cause some anxiety 😱. This is probably why it seems increasingly attractive to update your vaccine status on dating apps... Strange times maybe, but after all, why not? Given the context, isn’t it relevant to ask yourself if you expect your future partner(s) to be vaccinated or not? Fighting the fear of post-Covid dating is also done by defining your own criteria in terms of safety ✋.
Dating anxiety or just laziness?
FODA isn’t just the fear of being infected, but also the fear of meeting people. The remote social life has locked us in a little cocoon that some single people sometimes find difficult to get out of. Some feel they’ve lost the ability to flirt, misinterpret gestures, facial expressions, or can no longer make conversation. They stress about meeting people, while others simply don’t have the courage to do so.
As my friend Marie said to me the other day: “Do I really want to get dressed up, to make myself look beautiful, to talk about what I do for a living an umpteenth time? To end up, after a while, having less space on the sofa to watch my show?”
😏 Because it’s true that we can attribute a lot of problems to coronavirus, but even before the pandemic, withdrawal was already fashionable. By simplifying our lives and entertaining us, the digital era invites us to stay at home more and more without moving from our sofa, and Marie is right. When you’re used to having the whole sofa… it’s difficult to share it!
Honesty and letting go
Personally, I love love! Romance, passion, it’s my thing so much that I’d probably end up freezing to death for having organized a Valentine’s Day picnic on top of a mountain (his favorite place 😍 🥶... yes I know 🤢). But actually, we often forget that living as a couple is like having children, it’s not an obligation, just a big social injunction! So before jumping headlong into your next dates or feeling guilty on your own, ask yourself honestly about your desires for a relationship, and only then do you start playing it down.
A date is always a bit anxiety-provoking: we want to be pretty, impressive, brilliant, memorable, whereas we should just be honest and ourselves. Yes, going on a date is stressful, but the other person opposite you is probably feeling the same thing 😅.
Just talking about your nerves and knowing that they have them too can already lighten the mood. Then, let go, your life isn’t on the line, you’re just there to see if you like the person opposite you. Because yes, you’re not alone on a date! So when you’re nervous, turn your attention back to the other person and ask yourself if you’re falling for him or her a little, a lot or passionately and little by little… Bye-bye FODA!
Editor’s note: slowly get back to going out
This pandemic has changed our habits and social relationships and has generated certain anxieties. Many people have even suffered from cabin fever when the lockdown ended. If you’re afraid of dating, start by slowing going back out, return to your favorite places and this fear should gradually diminish, and you’ll be able to go on dates (if you want)! 👉 If your anxiety is long-lasting and deprives you of convivial moments or encounters, don’t wait to see a psychologist. Make an appointment before this fear becomes paralyzing.
🤗 Understanding yourself, accepting yourself, being happy... It’s here and now!
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