Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

Last updated by Katie M.

Imagine if you could fall in love in just 36 questions? Well, it's possible! An experiment conducted by the American researcher in psychology, Arthur Aron, was set up to study this possibility. Thanks to the questions of the experiment, it is in fact possible to fall in love with a stranger or to rekindle the flame between two exes. Whether you believe the hype or not, it might be interesting to put things to the test and to discover the questions of the experiment! After all, these 36 little interrogations could lead you to finding the love of your life.

Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

The test that makes you fall in love

How did the experiment come to be known by the public?

The New York Times decided to investigate and publish the testimony of Mandy Len Catronin which the young woman revealed how she fell in love with one of her college friends. She had chosen him as a guinea pig to test the researcher's questions, and then the magic happened! The experiment worked, and no first date was even needed.

šŸ’ž If the two lovebirds were already infatuated before starting the test, they assure that they were not aware of it until they reached the 36th question.

Where does the idea of Arthur Aron's experiment come from?

Many discoveries are the result of fortunate accidents, and this is the case with this research. It does not date from yesterday, since it was made in 1997. Arthur Aron, a professor at Stony Brook University in New York, was working on intimacy, and he decided to develop a simple exercise to see if it was possible to create intimacy between two people who do not know each other. The least we can say is that the experiment worked!

A couple even married within 6 months

In order for a researcher to get results from a study, there must be test phases and of course guinea pigs. So, the professor conducted several test phases with different individuals. One of the student-test duos got married 6 months after having done the experiment! Others also got married, and it did not stop there... Arthur Aron then understood what made it work and had seized the meaning of happiness!

>>> Discover tips on how to be happier

How can we fall in love with the same questions?

Creating intimacy between two spirits

The researcher had indeed put his finger on something important, and that is vulnerability and intimate confessions. When meeting a new person, it often takes a while to open up and show who you really are. Most of the time, we hit on a man, based mostly on physical attraction. However, we appreciate that appearance is not everything! We fall in love when we start to discover the person and an intimate relationship is established too.

šŸ„° This is why it is possible to fall in love with the questionnaire, because it creates a climate conducive to the birth of love feelings through intimacy.

The detail of unconsciousness

It is necessary to bring a nuance that the researcher said brought up himself. The experiment took place in a context that brought together people who were already in the same social context (the university). Also, the questionnaire only brings together people who have already chosen each other in love, even if it was unconsciously.

šŸ˜Œ In fact, the brain guides us naturally, without us being aware of it. We know how to recognize someone we can fall in love with. That's why it's so important to listen to your subconscious!

>>> Find out why I fall out of love so quickly

What are the famous 36 questions that lead to love?

For the experiment to really work, you need to spend an hour in a quiet place. You must take turns answering the questions. The goal is to speak with an open heart and not to comment on your partner's answers. Sincerity must be at the heart of the process! There are 3 parts that divide the questionnaire, and each of them raise the level of intimacy. At the end, take several minutes (at least 4) to look each other in the eye and stare.

Part 1

  1. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before a phone call, do you rehearse what you are going to say every time? Why or why not?
  4. How would you define a ā€œperfect dayā€?
  5. When was the last time you sang for yourself? And for someone else?
  6. If you could live to be 90 and have either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, what would you choose?
  7. Do you have a gut feeling about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner seem to have in common.
  9. What is the one thing you are most grateful for in life?
  10. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes to tell your partner about your life in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or skill, what would it be?

Part 2

  • 13) If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
  • 14) Is there anything you have dreamed about for a long time? Why haven't you realized it?
  • 15) What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  • 16) What is the most important thing in friendship?
  • 17) What is your most precious memory?
  • 18) What is your most terrible memory?
  • 19) If you knew you were going to die suddenly in one year, would you change your lifestyle? Why or why not?
  • 20) What does the word ā€œfriendshipā€ mean to you?
  • 21) What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • 22) Share with your partner something that you consider to be a positive characteristic about him/her. Share, a total of five.
  • 23) How close-knit and warm is your family? Do you think your childhood was happier than most people's?
  • 24) How would you rate your relationship with your mother?

Part 3

  • 25) Tell three truths, each beginning with the word ā€œweā€. For example, ā€œWe are both in this roomā€¦ā€
  • 26) Complete this sentence, ā€œI wish I had someone to shareā€¦ā€
  • 27) If you were to get close to your partner, tell him or her what would be important for him or her to know.
  • 28) Tell your partner what you like about him or her. Be very honest and only say things you would not say to someone you just met.
  • 29) Share an embarrassing moment in your life with your partner.
  • 30) When was the last time you cried in front of another person? How about by yourself?
  • 31) Tell your partner something you already like about them.
  • 32) What subject is too serious to laugh about?
  • 33) If you were to die tonight without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not saying? Why haven't you told them until now?
  • 34) Your house, which contains everything you own, catches fire. After saving your family and pets, you have time to safely retrieve one thing. What would it be? Why or why not?
  • 35) Which family member's death would affect you the most? Why or why not?
  • 36) Share a personal problem and ask your partner how they would handle it. Also ask your partner to tell you how they think you feel about this problem.

>>> Read up on the 10 tips to a successful relationship

Do 36 questions to fall in love work?

In 1995, the American psychologist Arthur Aron, a research professor at Stony Brook University in New York, tried to demonstrate that two strangers can fall in love if they exchange 36 questions. He declined his theory in 3 sets of 12 questions, from the most to the least personal. When he tested this experiment with volunteers, several couples finally got married a few months later... In the theory of the bond he developed, a strong relationship would, according to him, be based on "personal, sustained, growing and reciprocal self-disclosure". That is to say that by showing vulnerability, one favors closeness and intimate confessions, the first step towards intimacy.

It is scientifically proven that you will not "fall in love", but that the climate thus created is very likely to push you into each other's arms. The only thing is that you may not have chosen just anyone. The questionnaire only makes people fall in love who have already chosen each other, consciously or unconsciously, on the basis of physical criteria, a mutual acceptance of the game, and an openness to the other. It is not chance or magic, the unconscious smell each other, recognize each other and choose each other. This questionnaire just allows accelerating the passage from a desire to feelings. The climate created is then favorable to the outbreak of love.

Editor's tip: Tell us all about it!

Ready to try? Why not try it with a friend you're attracted to? It might be a good way to get out of the friend zone? Give us your feedback if you have tried it! And if you don't manage to find love despite all your efforts, it might be time to turn to a coach to assess your situation together.

šŸ¤— Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Letā€™s do it here and now!

#BornToBeMe

Be sure to check out these articles too:

Article presented by Katie M.

šŸŒ» Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

Are Narcissists Born Or Made? - Let's Settle The Debate

There you have it, the nature vs nurture debate is back, only this time I want to focus it on those deviously manipulative personalities we refer to as narcissists. Now, evidently these folks get bad press and rightly so because they are often at the root of plenty of harm, but is it really their fault? Can they really be blamed for their terrifying and perhaps inherent traits, or are they simply just products and in this case victims of their environments? Letā€™s settle this debate once and for all and figure out how and when this disorder becomes apparent. So, are you born a narcissist or is it developed?

Standing Up To A Narcissist Is Possible If You Follow These 9 Steps

If youā€™re anything like me, youā€™re no doubt sick of being manipulated and humiliated by the narcissistic vampires that surround you. Enough is enough! The time has come for you to stand up for yourself! No matter who is making you feel bad about yourself; you need to flip the tables and take back the power. Psychological abuse has deep and lasting impacts, but turning the page and moving on is the healthiest thing any victim can do. Here are 9 essential tips on how you can defend yourself against a narcissistic pervert.

Am I Too Demanding Of My Partner And Too Tough On Him?

Excessive expectations, intense routines and warped images of relationships often make our love stories difficult to manage and maintain. A relationship is one of lifeā€™s greatest balancing acts and requires compromises to be made regularly. In short, one cannot be too demanding or severe with their partner if they want a smooth sailing union. Being so tough is a way of testing our partner's feelings for us, yet this can lead to extremely toxic behavior. Although, thanks to our tips, you'll know how to turn things around.

Female Masturbation

Thatā€™s right, masturbation isnā€™t exclusively reserved for men, and us girls can enjoy the benefits of this practice too. It may seem like a very taboo subject, although over time it is becoming more and more talked about online, but thatā€™s not to say that women feel comfortable with the ideaā€¦ Many women run away from this pleasure and refuse to take care of themselves because they feel a cocktail of shame, fear, and embarrassment. Masturbation is all about self-care and making love to your body, and itā€™s one that no one should feel too guilty to practice.

Who Do Narcissists Target?

If reading up on narcissists terrifies you, you probably already realize how dangerous their toxic personalities can be. Although, that being said, Iā€™m probably going to add to the list of reasons as to why you should be ultra wary of these abusers, by revealing who they prey on. One thing that can be said about narcissists is that they certainly arenā€™t predictable people! šŸ˜± Plus, spoiler alert, they donā€™t necessarily always choose to emotionally abuse seemingly weak people, no, in fact, they often choose bigger fish to fry because they love a challenge. Discover the types of personalities they hone in on and why.

Overinflated Ego

ā€œNo, but in any case, Iā€™m better than you.ā€ Honestly, who likes hearing this kind of sentence? Sometimes, itā€™s not put so bluntly, but clearly, if we read between the lines, thatā€™s what is meant. An overinflated ego is what defines a megalomaniac, along with a need to put yourself before othersā€¦ Dealing with a megalomaniac isnā€™t easy, especially when itā€™s a daily occurrence! So, if you want a peaceful life, discover the true meaning of this disorder, and follow our tips to making this relationship just that little more bearable.

Should You Really Confess Your Feelings?

Who hasnā€™t had a crush in their life? You know, itā€™s when you fall for someone and have feelings for them even though you donā€™t really know them. Iā€™m one of those people who have had lots of crushes, and sometimes Iā€™ve even admitted my feelings. In fact, a recent example was just before I started my relationship with my current partner. I offloaded what I was feeling all of a suddenā€¦ Iā€™ll tell you why I did it and how to go about it.

How Does A Narcissist React When They Can't Control You? 10 Things They Do

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and thatā€™s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. šŸ˜Ø Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, youā€™ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; hereā€™s how they react when that happens.

I Still Suck My Thumb As An Adult

In general, thumb sucking ends around the age of 6. I say ā€œin generalā€ and not ā€œnormallyā€, because as an adult I donā€™t feel weird or particularly bothered by it. When I get stressed, I allow myself to let go and return to my childhood self by sucking my thumb. Those who know about it or catch me by surprise make me realize I should be ashamedā€¦ But is this habit a big deal? What if it makes me feel better? Itā€™s certainly no worse than lighting up a cigarette or biting your nailsā€¦

Are Narcissists Lonely?

Loneliness is one of societyā€™s biggest enemies, and none of us are exempt from it, not even the most devilish of narcissists out there. In fact, throughout the Coronavirus pandemic, 36% of Americans claimed that they have never felt lonelier, which sets a scary benchmark for the wider population šŸ˜”. Now, lots of us would no doubt immediately assume that narcissists are too independent and strong-willed to feel alone, however, the truth is they are often the biggest victims of loneliness, yet simply have trouble expressing their inner malaise.



Wengood's favorite tunes šŸŽµ

Wengood's playlist

wengood

  1. Only LoveBen Howard
    4:08
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
    4:55
  4. Beautiful DayU2
    4:08
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
    4:41
  6. White FlagDido
    4:00
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
    4:13
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
    3:17
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
    3:35
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
    4:24
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
    3:07
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
    4:37
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
    3:46
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
    2:17
  15. With Or Without YouU2
    4:56
  16. HelloAdele
    4:55
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
    3:29
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
    3:21
  19. WingsBirdy
    4:12
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar
    3:41

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack