Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

Last updated by Katie M.

Imagine if you could fall in love in just 36 questions? Well, it's possible! An experiment conducted by the American researcher in psychology, Arthur Aron, was set up to study this possibility. Thanks to the questions of the experiment, it is in fact possible to fall in love with a stranger or to rekindle the flame between two exes. Whether you believe the hype or not, it might be interesting to put things to the test and to discover the questions of the experiment! After all, these 36 little interrogations could lead you to finding the love of your life.

Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

The test that makes you fall in love

How did the experiment come to be known by the public?

The New York Times decided to investigate and publish the testimony of Mandy Len Catronin which the young woman revealed how she fell in love with one of her college friends. She had chosen him as a guinea pig to test the researcher's questions, and then the magic happened! The experiment worked, and no first date was even needed.

💞 If the two lovebirds were already infatuated before starting the test, they assure that they were not aware of it until they reached the 36th question.

Where does the idea of Arthur Aron's experiment come from?

Many discoveries are the result of fortunate accidents, and this is the case with this research. It does not date from yesterday, since it was made in 1997. Arthur Aron, a professor at Stony Brook University in New York, was working on intimacy, and he decided to develop a simple exercise to see if it was possible to create intimacy between two people who do not know each other. The least we can say is that the experiment worked!

A couple even married within 6 months

In order for a researcher to get results from a study, there must be test phases and of course guinea pigs. So, the professor conducted several test phases with different individuals. One of the student-test duos got married 6 months after having done the experiment! Others also got married, and it did not stop there... Arthur Aron then understood what made it work and had seized the meaning of happiness!

>>> Discover tips on how to be happier

How can we fall in love with the same questions?

Creating intimacy between two spirits

The researcher had indeed put his finger on something important, and that is vulnerability and intimate confessions. When meeting a new person, it often takes a while to open up and show who you really are. Most of the time, we hit on a man, based mostly on physical attraction. However, we appreciate that appearance is not everything! We fall in love when we start to discover the person and an intimate relationship is established too.

🥰 This is why it is possible to fall in love with the questionnaire, because it creates a climate conducive to the birth of love feelings through intimacy.

The detail of unconsciousness

It is necessary to bring a nuance that the researcher said brought up himself. The experiment took place in a context that brought together people who were already in the same social context (the university). Also, the questionnaire only brings together people who have already chosen each other in love, even if it was unconsciously.

😌 In fact, the brain guides us naturally, without us being aware of it. We know how to recognize someone we can fall in love with. That's why it's so important to listen to your subconscious!

>>> Find out why I fall out of love so quickly

What are the famous 36 questions that lead to love?

For the experiment to really work, you need to spend an hour in a quiet place. You must take turns answering the questions. The goal is to speak with an open heart and not to comment on your partner's answers. Sincerity must be at the heart of the process! There are 3 parts that divide the questionnaire, and each of them raise the level of intimacy. At the end, take several minutes (at least 4) to look each other in the eye and stare.

Part 1

  1. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before a phone call, do you rehearse what you are going to say every time? Why or why not?
  4. How would you define a “perfect day”?
  5. When was the last time you sang for yourself? And for someone else?
  6. If you could live to be 90 and have either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, what would you choose?
  7. Do you have a gut feeling about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner seem to have in common.
  9. What is the one thing you are most grateful for in life?
  10. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes to tell your partner about your life in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or skill, what would it be?

Part 2

  • 13) If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
  • 14) Is there anything you have dreamed about for a long time? Why haven't you realized it?
  • 15) What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  • 16) What is the most important thing in friendship?
  • 17) What is your most precious memory?
  • 18) What is your most terrible memory?
  • 19) If you knew you were going to die suddenly in one year, would you change your lifestyle? Why or why not?
  • 20) What does the word “friendship” mean to you?
  • 21) What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • 22) Share with your partner something that you consider to be a positive characteristic about him/her. Share, a total of five.
  • 23) How close-knit and warm is your family? Do you think your childhood was happier than most people's?
  • 24) How would you rate your relationship with your mother?

Part 3

  • 25) Tell three truths, each beginning with the word “we”. For example, “We are both in this room…”
  • 26) Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone to share…”
  • 27) If you were to get close to your partner, tell him or her what would be important for him or her to know.
  • 28) Tell your partner what you like about him or her. Be very honest and only say things you would not say to someone you just met.
  • 29) Share an embarrassing moment in your life with your partner.
  • 30) When was the last time you cried in front of another person? How about by yourself?
  • 31) Tell your partner something you already like about them.
  • 32) What subject is too serious to laugh about?
  • 33) If you were to die tonight without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not saying? Why haven't you told them until now?
  • 34) Your house, which contains everything you own, catches fire. After saving your family and pets, you have time to safely retrieve one thing. What would it be? Why or why not?
  • 35) Which family member's death would affect you the most? Why or why not?
  • 36) Share a personal problem and ask your partner how they would handle it. Also ask your partner to tell you how they think you feel about this problem.

>>> Read up on the 10 tips to a successful relationship

Do 36 questions to fall in love work?

In 1995, the American psychologist Arthur Aron, a research professor at Stony Brook University in New York, tried to demonstrate that two strangers can fall in love if they exchange 36 questions. He declined his theory in 3 sets of 12 questions, from the most to the least personal. When he tested this experiment with volunteers, several couples finally got married a few months later... In the theory of the bond he developed, a strong relationship would, according to him, be based on "personal, sustained, growing and reciprocal self-disclosure". That is to say that by showing vulnerability, one favors closeness and intimate confessions, the first step towards intimacy.

It is scientifically proven that you will not "fall in love", but that the climate thus created is very likely to push you into each other's arms. The only thing is that you may not have chosen just anyone. The questionnaire only makes people fall in love who have already chosen each other, consciously or unconsciously, on the basis of physical criteria, a mutual acceptance of the game, and an openness to the other. It is not chance or magic, the unconscious smell each other, recognize each other and choose each other. This questionnaire just allows accelerating the passage from a desire to feelings. The climate created is then favorable to the outbreak of love.

Editor's tip: Tell us all about it!

Ready to try? Why not try it with a friend you're attracted to? It might be a good way to get out of the friend zone? Give us your feedback if you have tried it! And if you don't manage to find love despite all your efforts, it might be time to turn to a coach to assess your situation together.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


Be sure to check out these articles too:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

I'm Too Scared To Fall In Love; How Can I Overcome This Fear?

In love, things are never really certain and just when we think things are going well, they often seem to derail. That being said, when you consider that one in two marriages ends in divorce, it's no wonder that reluctance to fall in love is becoming an increasingly common phobia amongst people. This fear hides deep-seated anxieties and can become very painful and penalizing... To overcome your worries and cast them aside once and for all, you need to understand where they originate from.

Standing Up To A Narcissist Is Possible If You Follow These 9 Steps

If you’re anything like me, you’re no doubt sick of being manipulated and humiliated by the narcissistic vampires that surround you. Enough is enough! The time has come for you to stand up for yourself! No matter who is making you feel bad about yourself; you need to flip the tables and take back the power. Psychological abuse has deep and lasting impacts, but turning the page and moving on is the healthiest thing any victim can do. Here are 9 essential tips on how you can defend yourself against a narcissistic pervert.

10 Signs Of A Bad Friendship - These Should Alarm You!

Our instincts are often renowned for always being right, and we certainly know the signs of a bad relationship when we see them. Although, that being said, we do at times end up ignoring our gut feelings and only realize how toxic they are when it's too late. Just like in relationships, there are red flags we can't ignore in our friendship group if we want our rapport to remain healthy. Read on to discover the 10 signs that you need to update your girl group and ditch certain members of it.

How To Break Up With Someone You Live With - 5 Tips To Go About It

Have you decided to end your relationship, yet you want to do it in the kindest way possible? If you are in this situation, you must go about it in the right way, regardless of what's gone on or who is to blame. Breakups can be brutal, and you don't want to inflict pain and suffering on your partner, right? But you can't exactly let yourself be unhappy for much longer either, and need to move out. Letting someone down gently is a tough balance to enact, and it involves asking yourself the right questions to make the separation as painless as possible. If you want to be able to walk away from your partner in the smoothest possible way, you're in the right place.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

Do Narcissists Enjoy Kissing?

Kissing is a deeply intimate act, and although in popular culture it is often classed as only being worthy of first base, it does in fact go way beyond that toxic evaluation. We’ve no doubt all had at least one lingering kiss that we’ll never forget; one which left all of our senses tingling and hungry for more. Well, that memorable smooch left us reminiscing because it was sincere and meant something. In short, it encapsulated love and romance, which are two things that narcissists are quite simply incapable of feeling.

8 Dangerous Mind Games That All Narcissists Play

People with narcissistic personality disorders love playing games because it reinforces their sense of control and validates their need to pull the strings. Now, the idea of playing games may seem fairly harmless and innocent, but the truth could be further away from the reality when these manipulative personalities are involved. Indeed, narcissists are always one step ahead of the rest of us, which makes it difficult to recognize when they are toying with people. So, to open your eyes to what they are truly capable of, discover the lengths they’ll go to, to remain on top.

How To Get Revenge On A Narcissist?

Narcissistic abuse is one of the most horrific challenges anyone can ever go through in life, but that’s not to say that their reign of terror will last forever. Evidently, breaking the cycle of abuse isn’t exactly straightforward, however, once the discard phase has been activated and victims realize that they can walk away with their heads held high, the revenge phase can commence. Unsurprisingly, getting even with a raging egocentric narcissist needs to be carefully planned, but ironically, their self-centered personalities expose to many axes of revenge, which will evidently really get to them…

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Do Narcissists Always Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

How to detect a narcissist

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde

How to soothe an anxiety attack