Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

Last updated by Katie M.

Imagine if you could fall in love in just 36 questions? Well, it's possible! An experiment conducted by the American researcher in psychology, Arthur Aron, was set up to study this possibility. Thanks to the questions of the experiment, it is in fact possible to fall in love with a stranger or to rekindle the flame between two exes. Whether you believe the hype or not, it might be interesting to put things to the test and to discover the questions of the experiment! After all, these 36 little interrogations could lead you to finding the love of your life.

Test Out The 36 Questions That Lead You To Finding Love

The test that makes you fall in love

How did the experiment come to be known by the public?

The New York Times decided to investigate and publish the testimony of Mandy Len Catronin which the young woman revealed how she fell in love with one of her college friends. She had chosen him as a guinea pig to test the researcher's questions, and then the magic happened! The experiment worked, and no first date was even needed.

💞 If the two lovebirds were already infatuated before starting the test, they assure that they were not aware of it until they reached the 36th question.

Where does the idea of Arthur Aron's experiment come from?

Many discoveries are the result of fortunate accidents, and this is the case with this research. It does not date from yesterday, since it was made in 1997. Arthur Aron, a professor at Stony Brook University in New York, was working on intimacy, and he decided to develop a simple exercise to see if it was possible to create intimacy between two people who do not know each other. The least we can say is that the experiment worked!

A couple even married within 6 months

In order for a researcher to get results from a study, there must be test phases and of course guinea pigs. So, the professor conducted several test phases with different individuals. One of the student-test duos got married 6 months after having done the experiment! Others also got married, and it did not stop there... Arthur Aron then understood what made it work and had seized the meaning of happiness!

>>> Discover tips on how to be happier

How can we fall in love with the same questions?

Creating intimacy between two spirits

The researcher had indeed put his finger on something important, and that is vulnerability and intimate confessions. When meeting a new person, it often takes a while to open up and show who you really are. Most of the time, we hit on a man, based mostly on physical attraction. However, we appreciate that appearance is not everything! We fall in love when we start to discover the person and an intimate relationship is established too.

🥰 This is why it is possible to fall in love with the questionnaire, because it creates a climate conducive to the birth of love feelings through intimacy.

The detail of unconsciousness

It is necessary to bring a nuance that the researcher said brought up himself. The experiment took place in a context that brought together people who were already in the same social context (the university). Also, the questionnaire only brings together people who have already chosen each other in love, even if it was unconsciously.

😌 In fact, the brain guides us naturally, without us being aware of it. We know how to recognize someone we can fall in love with. That's why it's so important to listen to your subconscious!

>>> Find out why I fall out of love so quickly

What are the famous 36 questions that lead to love?

For the experiment to really work, you need to spend an hour in a quiet place. You must take turns answering the questions. The goal is to speak with an open heart and not to comment on your partner's answers. Sincerity must be at the heart of the process! There are 3 parts that divide the questionnaire, and each of them raise the level of intimacy. At the end, take several minutes (at least 4) to look each other in the eye and stare.

Part 1

  1. If you could have dinner with anyone in the world, who would you choose?
  2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
  3. Before a phone call, do you rehearse what you are going to say every time? Why or why not?
  4. How would you define a “perfect day”?
  5. When was the last time you sang for yourself? And for someone else?
  6. If you could live to be 90 and have either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, what would you choose?
  7. Do you have a gut feeling about how you will die?
  8. Name three things you and your partner seem to have in common.
  9. What is the one thing you are most grateful for in life?
  10. If you could change one thing about the way you were raised, what would it be?
  11. Take four minutes to tell your partner about your life in as much detail as possible.
  12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained one quality or skill, what would it be?

Part 2

  • 13) If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future, or anything else, what would you want to know?
  • 14) Is there anything you have dreamed about for a long time? Why haven't you realized it?
  • 15) What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
  • 16) What is the most important thing in friendship?
  • 17) What is your most precious memory?
  • 18) What is your most terrible memory?
  • 19) If you knew you were going to die suddenly in one year, would you change your lifestyle? Why or why not?
  • 20) What does the word “friendship” mean to you?
  • 21) What roles do love and affection play in your life?
  • 22) Share with your partner something that you consider to be a positive characteristic about him/her. Share, a total of five.
  • 23) How close-knit and warm is your family? Do you think your childhood was happier than most people's?
  • 24) How would you rate your relationship with your mother?

Part 3

  • 25) Tell three truths, each beginning with the word “we”. For example, “We are both in this room…”
  • 26) Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone to share…”
  • 27) If you were to get close to your partner, tell him or her what would be important for him or her to know.
  • 28) Tell your partner what you like about him or her. Be very honest and only say things you would not say to someone you just met.
  • 29) Share an embarrassing moment in your life with your partner.
  • 30) When was the last time you cried in front of another person? How about by yourself?
  • 31) Tell your partner something you already like about them.
  • 32) What subject is too serious to laugh about?
  • 33) If you were to die tonight without the opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not saying? Why haven't you told them until now?
  • 34) Your house, which contains everything you own, catches fire. After saving your family and pets, you have time to safely retrieve one thing. What would it be? Why or why not?
  • 35) Which family member's death would affect you the most? Why or why not?
  • 36) Share a personal problem and ask your partner how they would handle it. Also ask your partner to tell you how they think you feel about this problem.

>>> Read up on the 10 tips to a successful relationship

Do 36 questions to fall in love work?

In 1995, the American psychologist Arthur Aron, a research professor at Stony Brook University in New York, tried to demonstrate that two strangers can fall in love if they exchange 36 questions. He declined his theory in 3 sets of 12 questions, from the most to the least personal. When he tested this experiment with volunteers, several couples finally got married a few months later... In the theory of the bond he developed, a strong relationship would, according to him, be based on "personal, sustained, growing and reciprocal self-disclosure". That is to say that by showing vulnerability, one favors closeness and intimate confessions, the first step towards intimacy.

It is scientifically proven that you will not "fall in love", but that the climate thus created is very likely to push you into each other's arms. The only thing is that you may not have chosen just anyone. The questionnaire only makes people fall in love who have already chosen each other, consciously or unconsciously, on the basis of physical criteria, a mutual acceptance of the game, and an openness to the other. It is not chance or magic, the unconscious smell each other, recognize each other and choose each other. This questionnaire just allows accelerating the passage from a desire to feelings. The climate created is then favorable to the outbreak of love.

Editor's tip: Tell us all about it!

Ready to try? Why not try it with a friend you're attracted to? It might be a good way to get out of the friend zone? Give us your feedback if you have tried it! And if you don't manage to find love despite all your efforts, it might be time to turn to a coach to assess your situation together.

🤗 Understand yourself, accept yourself, be happy... Let’s do it here and now!


Be sure to check out these articles too:

Article presented by Katie M.

Discover the world through my eyes.

Read our latest articles here:

I’m Unable To Ask For Or Accept Help, But Why?

For a long time, I didn’t know how to ask for help or simply accept it. “No, don’t worry, I’ll be fine”, I used to say when people close to me offered me their support, even though I wasn’t doing well at all. In fact, it took me a long time to get psychological support, because I was convinced that I could cope on my own. What’s behind this behavior? Why can’t you ask for help? With hindsight, I’ve understood what was behind it, and I think that talking about it might help! Here are some explanations.

I Feel Useless

There have been times in my life when I’ve felt useless, too much, out of place... Whether at work or even in general. I felt like I wasn’t contributing anything to anyone. Fortunately, I managed to combat this feeling, thanks in particular to therapy. I understood where it was coming from, and I managed to get rid of this negative emotion. Today, I’m sharing with you how to move on.

How Narcissists Treat Their Exes

Walking away and definitively closing the door on your relationship with a narcissistic ex-partner is one of the most emotionally draining challenges you can face. After all, these manipulative bullies are never willing to just let bygones be bygones, and always want to have the final word after the break-down of a relationship 😈. Besides, when narcissists get dumped, their inner demon raises its ugly head and becomes determined to (metaphorically) destroy their ex-partner.

What Happens When A Narcissists Loses Control? 10 Things Play Out

You probably know by now that narcissists only ever look for one thing and one thing only; and that’s control! Whether in their personal or professional life, folks with this personality disorder need to be in the driving seat and the one calling the shots, otherwise all hell breaks loose. Although their cunning and manipulative nature means they are often hard to escape, it is still possible to turn the tables on them and take the upper hand. Yet, you’ll need a thick skin to do so because when they feel their power slipping away, they become even more dangerous and abusive; here’s how they react when that happens.

10 Weird Things Narcissists Do Sexually - Romance Is Dead

As with many things in life, narcissists also have unhealthy relationships with sex and treat it as nothing more than a self-gratifying activity. After all, manipulation, control, and emotional abuse are their so-called trusty weapons that they hide behind in most circumstances, so why wouldn’t they call on them in the bedroom too? The bottom line is people with this personality disorder are used to getting what they want and will only ever put themselves and their pleasure first, which doesn’t bode well for a healthy sex life. Discover the weird things narcissists do in the bedroom and what you should do if you are involved with one.

Can A Narcissist Become Obsessed With Someone?

Now, narcissists are known for demonstrating a worrying lack of empathy along with deviously manipulative traits, oh, and before I forget to mention it, HUGE egos too. Yes, that’s right, they love spending hours looking in the mirror and being told how fabulous they are. To put it in other words, people with this personality disorder are firmly in love with themselves, to the point of being totally obsessed with their so-called perfection, but the question is, can they put their self-admiration aside enough to become preoccupied with someone else?

10 Reasons Why Your Ex Slept With Someone Else After Your Breakup

We are all unique individuals, and we, therefore, go about handling breakups and the other obstacles life throws our way, differently. Now, when it comes to breakups, there are those of us that almost become celibate and decide that they can't stand the idea of getting to know anyone ever again. Then, on the other hand, there are those that fill their phones with dating apps and jump from one one-night stand to the next. This second scenario may seem harmless, but once we dig a little deeper into the repercussions of it, we soon realize that sleeping with other people so freshly out of a relationship masks troubling sentiments of unhappiness and uneasiness.

What Does A Narcissist Hate?

Narcissists are experts in the field of duping and manipulating their victims, yes, that’s right they are true chameleons, which explains why many of them often go undetected. Their behavior is definitely dangerous and means we definitely need to figure out what makes them tick and, in this particular case, what they hate. Understanding what these entitled personalities dislike is one of the keys to best exposing them and freeing their victims from their grip. Now, we all get angry for one reason or another, but people with this personality disorder have different triggers related to the things they despise.

Do Narcissists Come Back?

You're probably thinking that once a narcissist has upped sticks and fled, he'll never dare to show his face again, however, quite the opposite is true. The reality is that these folks are like bad smells, there's no getting rid of them quickly, therefore regardless of all the pain, hurt, and trauma they've put their victims through, they'll always make a comeback, just to prove that they are still in control 😨. In fact, no matter how much time has passed, these torturous monsters will always eventually rear their ugly heads, just to get in that one last vicious blow. Discover which 10 circumstances they'll decide to show up in their exes' lives.

5 Scary Things A Narcissist Smear Campaign Involves

We hear so much about these emotional abusers in every walk of life that we are sometimes so overloaded with information regarding them, meaning we often miss the red flags that, in hindsight, seem blatantly obvious. These vindictive manipulators often use smear campaigns as a way of getting back at their victims and villainizing them publicly. That's right, these evil campaigns are an effective method for them to change the narrative of the abuse, and to present themselves as victims, when in reality they are the perpetrators of the terror.

Wengood's favorite tunes 🎵

Wengood's playlist


  1. Only LoveBen Howard
  2. Invalid date
  3. Fix YouColdplay
  4. Beautiful DayU2
  5. Thinking out LoudEd Sheeran
  6. White FlagDido
  7. Lay Me DownSam Smith
  8. Nine Million BicyclesKatie Melua
  9. Put Your Records OnCorinne Bailey Rae
  10. Summertime SadnessLana Del Rey
  11. Imagine - Remastered 2010John Lennon
  12. Shake It OutFlorence + The Machine
  13. Space Oddity - Love You Til Tuesday versionDavid Bowie
  14. What A Wonderful WorldLouis Armstrong
  15. With Or Without YouU2
  16. HelloAdele
  17. Don't Stop Me NowQueen
  18. Skinny LoveBirdy
  19. WingsBirdy
  20. Californian SoilLondon Grammar

"Be yourself; everyone else is already taken." 

- Oscar Wilde

How to detect a narcissist

How to detect a narcissist

How to soothe an anxiety attack

How to soothe an anxiety attack